


Awake my Soul

by SilvertonguedClotpole



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Needs a Hug, Nightmares, Protective Thor, Torture, but he's also a bit of a bamf, occasional graphic violence i'll warn about in chapters, or asked for, tags to be added when needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2017-12-30 15:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 48,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvertonguedClotpole/pseuds/SilvertonguedClotpole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow up to 'For You, For Asgard', but can be read as a stand-alone. When Loki's torture comes back to haunt him, affecting his health, Thor must choose if to believe the trickster or not. But when the mental torture turns physical, and Thanos' threats begin to come true, the brothers must come together, to help one another, as well as Asgard. But what secrets will arise? What horrors must they face? And will everyone make it out alive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loki

**Author's Note:**

> A number of reviews left on 'For You, For Asgard' requested a follow up/sequel, and although it took me a while (I started this around 8 months ago) I've finally completed it. Not beta'd so all mistakes my own, I apologise. I own nothing I'm afraid, Marvel does. And Mumford and Sons own the song lyrics. :) A song I thought fit the brothers, with Thor unsure if to believe Loki's lies, how Loki must show his weakness from time to time, and how Loki's soul must be awakened.

**_How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes_ **   
**_I struggle to find any truth in your lies_ **   
**_And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know_ **   
**_My weakness I feel I must finally show_ **   
  
**_Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all_ **   
**_But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall_ **   
**_Lend me your eyes I can change what you see_ **   
**_But your soul you must keep, totally free_ **   
  
**_Awake my soul_ **   
  
_Walking was agony, just the mere movement of a toe was enough to send shockwaves up his leg. He hadn't used his body in so long. Nightmares had kept him awake at night and the connection to Thanos kept rearing it's ugly head, it's very ugly head. His screams would echo off the walls of his cell, the prison he had been refined to since his return to Asgard. Now he was finally able to walk the halls of his once home again, allowed to see the golden walls shimmer in the light of the vast realm. Though to say he was 'walking' was an overstatement, the guards holding him were forced to drag his limp body along behind them as a child would a doll. The All-Father must have altered his guards, for those who held him now were unfamiliar; unless it was his rattled mind that was finally failing him. They had forced open his prison doors telling him that Odin had demanded his presence, there was no choice in the matter, for he was pulled up mere seconds later. The manacles were still in place, designed especially for his magic, locked up just as he was, and screeched along the stone floor sending sparks flying. There was no-one in the halls, no servants, guards or palace staff, which strangely unnerved him; surely they were not all in the throne room waiting for his new punishment. What did Odin want anyway? Had he not told the monster that he would never be free until the day Odin saw fit, and that he would never be allowed to exit his cell until that day? Maybe he'd changed his mind and was going to kill him afterall. Or maybe they were under attack and they had decided his cunning could be an advantage. But no, surely they were not under attack, not yet at least, for he had heard no sounds of battle._   
  
_Before him, the great doors to the throne room stood tall, almost mocking his now pathetic shriveled existence. He spat at them, just as they were opened from the inside, the only thing he could do without bringing about pain. A huge part of him wanted to stand tall as he entered the grand palace, just as he once had, but he could not. Pulling one leg up was agony enough and as soon as he bared pressure on it, the thing collapsed under him; it was only by biting his tongue that he did not yell out in front of everyone. And so, he was dragged, straight towards the throne, before being thrown down, nothing more than a long forgotten toy. The whole time his head had been bowed, not out of respect, but out of weakness. The idea of holding his head up was just as painful as walking, he just could not do it, and so was reduced to watching the floor, seeing his reflection looking up at him, a shattered picture of the prince he used to be._   
  
_"Loki Odinson!" A pause. "Or should that be Loki Laufeyson?"_   
  
_He recognised that voice, but not as that of the All-Father, nor even Thor. Whoever it was sent shivers down his spine, shivers of fear. Why was a stranger sat on his father's-No! Odin's- throne? No wonder he had not recognized the guards.Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his supposed family knelt with their hands held firmly behind their backs, guarded by armed men. They were hostages! Loki did not have the courage to look at them directly, and even less courage to look up at the man who had stolen the throne. A kick came crashing into his back, making him reel upwards crying out as the nerves spread all over his worn body._   
  
_"You do not ignore your Lord, you scum." One of the guards behind him yanked him up by the hair, pointing him in the direction of the throne._   
  
_"Loki. How good it is to see you. I have not looked upon that face since I sent you off on your little errand to Midgard."_   
  
_His pain was now replaced by fear, crippling fear that paralyzed him. He knew he would soon wish for the pain of the cell, for whatever concoction the monster in front of him was brewing, would be far worse. He wanted to act as the Loki who had once roamed the halls of Asgard, stood proud and would banter with even his worst enemy, but the truth was he couldn't, he was broken, and he was scared._   
  
_"What do you want?" The little confidence he'd started the sentence with had completely subsided by the time he had finished._   
  
_"My payment." The man acted as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, had he been a Midgardian teenager he probably would have added 'durr' onto the end (something Loki had learnt within his first 2 hours on the godforsaken planet)._   
  
_"I...I do not understand." Loki had given up hope of being the Silvertongue, now he reflected how he had once been as a child._   
  
_"I think you do Loki. Bring him to me."_   
  
_Guards surrounding the royals brought forward Thor,who already looked a little battered and bruised. Loki finally understood the threats._   
  
_"No...Thanos please! No. You can do anything to me, punish me, kill me, please. No!" Now he definitely forgot his pain, he was trying desperately to get away from the guard who was holding him down._   
  
_"Oh Loki. We both promised the other something, you broke yours which means I carry mine out. Punish you? I am punishing you."_   
  
_Thanos gracefully stood from the throne, walked down the steps and pulled out a dazzling dagger that, given a different situation, Loki would have been envious of. Before Loki had time to react, he had to witness the blade disappear into his adopted brother's heart. The young man began to convulse and bleed from the mouth, the dagger was slowly pulled from his chest, and he fell forward. The great Titan made his way back up to the throne, as Loki was set free to race towards the man he had once called brother._   
  
_Reaching him, Loki noticed the dagger had fallen just short of Thor's heart, making his death slower and a lot more painful. But sure enough, within the next few minutes, the thunderer would be dead. Had he had his magic, Loki would have been able to save him, to stop the blood flow and repair all damaged muscle, but his bloody chains stopped that from happening. Thanos' threats from years before echoed in his head 'invade Midgard and retrieve the Tesseract or I shall make sure Asgard crumbles before your eyes and your family die bloody in your arms'._   
  
_"No, Thor...please. You cannot leave me." Loki's tears fell onto Thor's face as he begged._   
  
_"Do not touch me. This is all your fault." Thor tried to push Loki off of him, but he did not have the strength._   
  
_Loki looked up at Odin and Frigga. "Please, you have to do something, save him."_   
  
_"I cannot." Odin's eye showed more disappointment and regret than Loki had ever seen in his life._   
  
_"You have killed us all Loki. You finally have the attention you craved you stupid boy." Loki could not believe Frigga was treating him this way, she had never shown such anger towards him, ever._   
  
_"I wish I had never brought you from Jotunheim. It was my biggest mistake." Odin's gaze moved away from Loki and down to Thor._   
  
_Loki followed his gaze, fresh tears staining his mucky face. Thor was barely breathing, his eyes were dark and stared up towards the sky, no longer bright with the excitement of war. More blood bubbled from his lips, before he finally became still...lying dead, and bloody in Loki's arms, just as Thanos had promised._   
  
_The young man tore his gaze away from his brother and up at the man who had promised him so much pain. He was laughing, a mad laugh to accompany a mad tyrant, looking down at the scene he had just caused, pride blossoming like the first flowers of spring. Loki closed his eyes, the smell of copper filling his nose, the taste of salt on his lips, and the sound of crazed laughter- for once not his own- filling his ears._

  
XXX

  
Loki woke up screaming, the now familiar sound echoing off the walls of his cell. He clawed at his hair, at his clothes and skin as he tried to clear it of the blood of his dead brother. Only there was none, it had all been a dream. He just about heard the doors to his cell being opened above his screams, but only just. Strong arms snaked around him in a tight embrace that was meant to soothe him, large hands pulled away his clawing fingers and began stroking his hair. This was not what he wanted, yet it was. He always welcomed the comfort and relief that usually came after a bad night, but at the same time, a large part of him hated it. He was no longer a child who needed to be coddled like this, he was a strong, powerful man who had found he lived much better on his own. _No you are not._  
  
"This is the 4th time in as many days Loki. I sit there watching as you writhe about in your sleep, mumble words of apologies and pleadings, until you finally awaken with a god awful scream. Tell me what ails you."  
  
He was starting to calm down, but he still worked his hands, still tried to wipe them on his bedding, to rid himself of the blood. The strong hands moved off his back and instead took hold of his shaking ones. "There is nothing on your hands Loki. Look at them. Truly look at them."  
  
"Blood." Was the only word he could muster. "Blood."  
  
"Who's blood? Yours?" Loki shook his head. His fear was now ebbing away, just as it did every time the situation arose. It was beginning to be replaced by anger. Thor had no right to play nurse maid, he had never cared for Loki before, so why did he have to start now?  
  
"Leave me." He mumbled.  
  
"Not this again Loki. Please. You need me."  
  
"NO!" Loki finally found the energy to pull himself away from his brother's sickening grip. "I said LEAVE! GET OUT! "  
  
"You are ill. I shall not leave you in this state Loki. Please allow me to speak with Father, let me try and sort everything out."  
  
"No." One quick, short bitter word, the closest he had come to his old Silvertongue in nearly a year.  
  
"Then I shall allow you peace. As I see it is all I can give you." Loki had to endure one final kiss on the forehead before he had the cell to himself; though could that be said when you shared it with the ghosts and nightmares of your past?

* * *

 

**I really tried not to make anyone OOC but it was a little hard at times, so I apologize if you feel they are on occasion. I know for sure Loki is more evil/vengeful than I have written him, but for the sake of the fic, this is how I wrote him (but not all the time, he is often very angry and sneaky.)**


	2. Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor begins to think that maybe keeping Loki's health a secret is not the best thing and that perhaps talking to the one person who still loves Loki is the best step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2- I keep re-reading this story now and realise so many parts are not what I want them to be, but I am finding it hard to edit it so best leave it or I'm worried I'll ruin it further, but I will continue to upload it seen as I've begun (there are a number of parts I like enough to live with.)
> 
> On another note...I went and saw Thor the other day, and Thor almighty what an AMAZING movie. It truly is, and it was beyond everything I expected. I laughed, I cried, I screamed at the screen...every emotion. Beautiful, funny, and so very well done, I could talk about it all day. 100/10.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for follows/kudos/comments, hope the rest doesn't disappoint too much. Remember I own nothing and no beta so all mistakes my own. :)

Thor walked away from the cell with tears brimming his eyes. He was a strong warrior, and an even braver prince, but seeing someone he cared for in so much misery brought even the toughest of men to tears. Each day the pain in his heart grew bigger, each day when he saw his brother scream in terror and agony, each day his brother told him to leave. Thor knew Loki did not like to be treated as a child, even as a young boy he had hidden his problems until they became too much for him to bare, but he was his sick brother, and it hurt Thor to see him in such a way. No-one else paid him the attention, not one other member went to visit him or check on his state, and so it was up to the heir to do so, for he worried his brother would go truly mad without even the slightest bit of company, whether it was appreciated or not. Frigga was going out of her mind with worry over him, but could never bring herself to visit his cell. She had told her eldest that she had dreamt of his suffering and saw the anguish in his eyes, and that it was enough for her to see in her sleep, without having to witness it for real. She regretted not being able to do so, but fears are not something you could just kill with a swing of Mjolnir.  
  
All he wanted to do was go to his mother and father and tell them of what he has witnessed over the last few days, but he knew he couldn't. It had been a week since Loki had confided in Thor about his time with Thanos, about the torture he had endured. But above all he had admitted to the threats, how the Titan had threatened to destroy Asgard and kill everyone Loki cared for if he did not invade Midgard. Thor knew that  he had manipulated and modeled Loki to the horror that had attacked the human planet, all on the basis of his family's safety. When Loki had told Thor everything, he had vowed to go to the All-Father the next day, to explain everything, but Loki had pleaded with him not to. Although it had hurt Thor at the time that Loki no longer held any trust with Odin, it could not compare to the hurt he was feeling now. He was at war with himself, he wanted so badly to go to his father and tell him everything, especially with Loki's condition worsening, yet at the same time, he did not want to turn on his brother and lose the small snippet of trust that still hung between them. His brother was slowly regaining the trust they had once shared as children, though it was nothing more than the length of his daggers, and so Thor did not want that to disappear completely. That is why he held on, the only reason, to keep Loki close.   
  
"Something is troubling you dear boy." Thor had been so lost in thought as he hurried through the citadel that he hadn't even noticed Frigga coming the opposite way. She had always known when something was troubling her boys, as any good mother should, but would always know when to stay out of it or when to advise.  
  
"There is." He paused, thinking everything through. "Though I fear I cannot explain myself."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"A promise was made that prevents me from saying." He flexed his fingers to try and relieve some of the tension that had built up in his arms.  
  
"But what if not telling leads to far worse consequences? Do you remember when Loki did not tell us of his accident when he was 10?"  
  
"Not really." Thor probably did, but his mind was a whirlpool and, in truth, he did not even register what Frigga was saying.  
  
"You and him had been playing in the lake during our hottest summer. You both came back full of life and happiness." She was smiling at the memory. "But by twilight he had become a little quiet and clammy."  
  
"Yes, he looked paler than usual too."  
  
"That he did. We finally got out of him that he had cut his leg in the lake, and that he did not want anyone to know as he _'did not want to be poked and prodded by those bafoons that call themselves healers'_."  
  
Thor laughed, remembering Loki's words.  
  
"So I promised to examine the wound, without poking and prodding. He accepted. But by the time I got him to his chambers he was very poorly. The wound had become infected and he was bed ridden for 3 days."  
  
"I'm afraid I'm a little too distracted to understand what you are saying?" His mind really was a mess.  
  
"I am saying that Loki did not tell us for a good while about his injury, it got infected, he became seriously ill  and without the proper care we could have lost him. Keeping things a secret can be very harmful in the long run Thor."  
  
He thought it over, realising what Frigga was saying, but still could not bring himself to break his promise. Loki held a small amount of trust in him but he could easily let that go if Thor made the wrong move; and he could not- would not- watch his brother let go again. "I am truly sorry Mother, but I feel it is best to leave this problem a little longer before I make any drastic moves."  
  
"It is your decision, but please remember this...do not let it go so far there is no chance of retrieving it." Frigga gently kissed Thor's cheek and continued the way Thor had come, but she was not going to the cell, she never did.  
  
With his head in the clouds, Thor carried on walking, thinking of possible ways he could deal with this. It was not until he heard the sinister voice that he realised he had subconsciously walked back to the prisons.  
  
"What now?" Loki's voice was weak but still carried with it a touch of the venom that Thor was so familiar with.  
  
"I actually did not intend to return, I was not thinking clearly."  
  
"Do you ever?" _There's the Loki I know._  
  
"Before I go, I just want one question answered..."  
  
"Urghh, if it means you leave me in peace than I grant you one question." Thor didn't even need to see the eyerole to know Loki had done it, he could hear it.  
  
"Why do you not want father to know of your time with Thanos?" It was true, when he had come to think of it, Loki had never stated why it must be kept a secret, only that he wanted no-one outside of his cell knowing about it.  
  
"Please do not say his name." For an instant, Loki's voice was small, a ghost of the child he had once been. "Why should I tell you?"  
  
"Please." Thor did not expect a reply, he had just hoped that there was still something there that made Loki open up to him, like he once had. After a few minutes, Thor turned and began to walk away.  
  
"Because...." He raced back to the cell door, the voice was very small but it had definitely been Loki, and he'd left the sentence open for more. "I fear Odin will not listen to me, call me the silvertongue and leave me here to rot. I shall do so anyway so why involve anyone else and make it public knowledge that the wayward prince is slowly going insane and dying?"  
  
"Loki...." His voice caught in his throat. So Loki _was_ dying then.  
  
"And...." Thor pushed up to the door as far as he could go, resembling a child waiting for his present, hope in his face. Hope that Loki would finally have gained full trust of him once more. "Because I am scared that if he does accept my story, that he will go after _him_. That you and he will walk straight into his realm and be killed."  
  
"Why has he not come to find you already?"  
  
"You said _one_ question Thor. But if you must know, and if it keeps you quiet for a while, it is because he is too weak to enter Asgard, even with an army, and he cannot just teleport in here because of the restraints of the cell. That is why he is attacking me mentally. Now if you don't mind, I am very tired and have another nightmare to no doubt fall into." Thor watched as Loki turned over on his bed and braced his body for another harrowing experience.  
  
"Do you wish me to stay?" Thor knew he would have his head bitten off, but he could not bear to think of Loki waking up with no comfort. Bracing himself for the backlash of his question, he held his breath.  
  
"Yes." The voice was so very quiet that he almost thought he had imagined it, but he looked up to see Loki slightly peeking out over his shoulder, a soft look in his eyes, one mixed with embarrassment and shame.  
  
Grabbing a chair meant for the guards-though none were needed due to the many spells set on the cell- Thor sat down and waited for the onslaught of his brother's latest fit.  
  
XXX  
  
"Mother?"  
  
"Yes Thor."  
  
"I feel that the secret I promised to keep is far too dangerous to be kept. Though I do not want to break the trust Loki has gained in me, I feel it necessary for his wellbeing."  
  
"For as long as needs be, the secret shall be between you and I, Loki does not even need to know you have betrayed him." Ouch, did Frigga have to use that word, it bit more than Loki's words did. She gestured for him to sit beside her. They were in the walled gardens, Frigga's own private area. Thor had decided that he needed to open up to someone after his recent time with Loki.   
  
_He had watched as his brother writhed in his bed, screaming and hitting at an unknown source. The latest bout had lasted nearly half an hour longer than usual and Loki had ended up crashing from his bed onto the floor, with more pain on his face than Thor thought he had ever seen on a man. When it finally ended, Loki had woken up with blood pouring from his nose, his hands shaking and a very obvious wet patch on the floor beneath his rear end. Thor was one of 4 people who could open the cell, and he wasted no time in doing so. Racing in, he had ripped off the bottom of his tunic and held it to Loki's nose, trying to stop the bleeding. Loki had of course been utterly appalled by his bladder accident and turned back into the vicious rage monster, telling Thor to leave him, not wanting him to see him in this state. Loki had become very violent, even in his weakened state, and brought bruising to Thor's eye and blood to his lip, fighting the older man to get out of his godforsaken prison. Before Thor left, he made sure fresh clothes were sent for, advising the servant to push them through the food hatch not looking at Loki, for he was sure that the prisoner would attack anyone else who may see him in that state. Thor left and decided in a single heartbeat that Frigga was his next destination. Things were getting worse, and he was not going to let it go any further!_  
  
"I believe that the Loki which attacked Midgard and the Loki who is currently rotting in that cell are not quite the same person I watched fall from the Bifrost." He left it open for Frigga to calculate her own response. In all honesty, he did not know how to tell her what was going on, and hoped she may figure things out on her own.  
  
"I do not understand. Are you saying there are two Loki's?"  
  
"No. When Loki fell, he was confused, hurt, betrayed and so very lost. I believe that the things he did to Asgard were not meant to go as far as they did, I think he concocted those plans in order for him to look courageous and worthy in Father's eyes. But they went too far and got out of hand, and so it made him seem like a traitor and our enemy."  
  
"I am with you so far, I too think he lost his way." Frigga nodded sadly.  
  
"From what I gather, when he awoke in the void, he was in an unknown realm, a forgotten planet, surrounded by rocks, wastelands and dark starless skies. That was enough to drive him mad alone, but he was found by someone I believe to be known as the Mad Titan...."  
  
"Thanos!" Thor did not even get a chance to finish his sentence, for as soon as he mentioned the man's alter ego, Frigga was full of panic.  
  
"Yes." Thor paused, trying to think what he was going to say next. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Loki confided in me, although I have to admit it was after I pushed him into it. He told me that this Thanos tortured him, forced him to do things he did not want to do, and threatened him in ways even myself or Father would have broken under. However strong Loki believes himself to be, even he was not capable of staying sane under his control."  
  
"Loki is strong, in some ways stronger than anyone I know, but from what I know of Thanos, no-one is safe. Are you saying that the torture caused Loki to bend beneath his control?"  
  
"In a fashion yes. Thanos kept asking Loki to perform a task for him, and when he had denied it several times, the torture got worse." He did not want to tell his mother the next part, but he knew he had to. "Loki told me that, often, he would be on the brink of death once _he_ was done with him, but he was not allowed the mercy of death. The torture was breaking him but he would not have accepted Thanos' offer, not until he threatened Loki with something he could not ignore."  
  
"And what was that?" Thor noticed Frigga was like a small child, hearing a ghost story, caught halfway between being petrified and wanting to know what happened next. The queen's voice was barely a whisper and broke, threatening tears welling in her eyes.  
  
"The death of you, Father and I. As well as the total destruction and annihilation of Asgard... whilst Loki watched."  
  
Frigga's reaction was just what Thor felt inside, pure devastation and regret, though for some reason he was unable to exhibit them in the way his mother was; the pain had repressed them so that they were a ball in the pit of his stomach waiting to be released as fuel for the fight that he knew would one day come. He watched as his mother wept, pulling her close just as she had done him as a child. She trembled in his arms and muttered what sounded like 'my poor boy' under her breath.  
  
"I do not forgive what he did to Midgard mother. He was a monster and a cruel man, slaughtering so many innocents for what? Nothing but power and greed." His facade slipped suddenly, his shoulders slumping and his hands shaking. "I am so conflicted mother. For what I remember was a hideous monster, seeking only power, death and destruction. But now it seems all that was just another one of his tricks. I do not understand, if he did not want it, then why did he do the things he did? Why kill people? Why hurt me?"  
  
"You are not seeing things Thor, you are only seeing what you want to see. Your brother has always been a great trickster, always making things up to gain attention or hide away from what is real. I do not know the entire truth of Thanos' threats, but I see that if Loki failed, or if what he did was not deemed good enough, the Titan's threats would be carried out. You remember the time you threatened him with burning one of his favourite books? You made him do a number of tasks in order to save it, and everyone he failed, got another handful of pages burnt. It is just like that now. He had to make it seem real to Thanos, or he would have lost the game."  
  
Thor was shocked, his mother was right, all the times Loki had let his guard down where he would not have before, or where he made things far too easy. He was trained with a blade, knowing exactly where to place it for a kill, yet when he had stabbed Thor, it had caused nothing more than an insignificant wound. It always hurt when his mother brought up his own wrong doings towards Loki as children, but it allowed him to see her reasons behind his supposed sibling's actions.  
  
"You talk of the destruction he caused, the wars he began, because of greed and the longing for power, yet is it not the exact reason you invaded Jotunheim? You attacked innocent creatures because of what?" He began to interrupt but Frigga carried on regardless. "Oh yes, I know, because they attacked us first, but you had no right to. Do not be so quick to blame others when their faults are also your own." Her tears had turned to rage and she was backlashing it at Thor.  
  
They sat in an awkward silence, neither moving nor speaking. Thor, whilst angry at how his mother had bitten back at him, realised that the queen had just heard of her youngest child's mistreatment, and that was enough to rile anyone, even a queen's mask would slip. After around 10 minutes of silence, Thor recognized that Loki's state was more important, and that having an argument with his mother was not going to get him the help he needed.   
  
"I apologize for the way I acted. I came here for a purpose and that is far more important than our feud. I am lead to believe that Thanos still has a hold on Loki, in some way or another, and it is hurting him, not just physically."  
  
"I am a terrible mother. The whole time he has been imprisoned and I have not gone to see him once."  
  
"I do not want you to go and see him mother, I know neither you nor he wish for you to see him in the state he is. But I need your help."  
  
Frigga looked up at him, not saying a word, her anger completely gone from her beautiful features.  
  
"He has nightmares, terrible nightmares, ones that leave him gasping for air and sweating. He screams until his voice is hoarse and grabs at something that is not there. On numerous occasions I have caught him crying, though I have never admitted to seeing it as I think he would take my head off. And now, just before I came here, he ended up on the floor, his nose was bleeding and he....he had an accident. However weak he was and however much his hands trembled he still shook me off, still hit me numerous times and forced me out. I am scared for him mother, truly scared." He leaned forward and put his head on Frigga's shoulder, finally allowing a few tears to fall. Frigga reached over and hugged her boy, shushing him and stroking his back.  
  
She did not speak for a long time, and Thor thought she was crying again, but when he dared to look up, she was wearing her regal appearance, one of a true queen, who would face death with a grin. "As your queen, I advise you go to the All-Father. Only he will be able to pass judgement on the prisoner's wellbeing, and can change the punishment as he sees fit." She pushed him away slightly, "Now, we both need to get cleaned up before we approach him. You shall seek his councel within the hour."  
  
"As you wish my queen." Thor stood up, bowed, and left the gardens to clean himself of the day's dirt, sweat and small traces of Loki's blood.   
  
He pretended not to hear the agonised cries of his mother as he walked away.


	3. Frigga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor confronts Odin about Loki, but it may take evidence before the AllFather acts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am no longer 100% happy with the majority of this story but I know a few of you are following so I shall continue for you guys, and I've written it so I may aswell. :) Again, I own nothing, and I have no beta so all mistakes are my own.

Frigga walked down the hall to her quarters, though she was not dirty or under dressed, she felt the need to straighten her hair and remove the tear tracks from her face. It was not shameful or weak for her to cry, especially in regards to the well fair of her sons, but it did not do for Odin to think she was exploiting her position just because of her feelings; she needed to appear detached to the problem in hand, as _that_ would be when her husband saw her as weak.  
  
She often had nightmares of Loki, ones that depicted him as an evil monster who sought nothing but revenge for all those in Asgard. She would watch as he killed Thor in cold blood, destroy the beautiful relics of the golden city, and freeze his loved ones as his skin turned the horrifying blue of Jotuns.  But she knew these were not real, they were just her mind playing out stories to scare her, though what worried her most was the nights her dreams felt different, they were odd, and felt ever so much more real. In these dreams, she had seen Loki pinned down onto a blood stained table, screaming in agony, yet defying the creature that held him hostage. Each time, he would not back down, he would scream bloody murder that he would not do as told and that they would have to kill him first. Frigga would shout to him to give up, so they would stop, but now she knew what they were asking of him, she was almost proud of him. On every occasion she woke from these dreams, she could not shake the feeling of how real they were compared to her other nightmares, yet Odin would remind her that they were just her imagination teasing her from grief. Now she knew they were real, every single one of them where Loki was being tortured, or threatened; and now it was he who was waking from nightmares of the same magnitude.   
  
A small part of her was desperate to go and see him, to let him know she loved him and was going to make things better, but she knew he would see past her in an instant and know Thor had told her. If he found out so early that Thor had broken his promise, he would not trust any of them, he would lose any sentiment he still had left. Sentiment: Thor had told her how Loki used it against him in his war with Midgard, he told her how Loki saw it as Thor's greatest weakness and that was how he was able to escape, but was it really such a wekaness? Wasn't it more of a strength? It is the hope and belief that they all clung onto for whatever reason, whether it was family, love or protection, and in their case, all three. Maybe Loki still had some, deep down, maybe there was still something that could bring him back to them. But it would not do to lose it so early on, they would have to be careful, as any trace of deceit could result in losing him forever.  So Frigga stood her ground, she would not go to see Loki, at least not when he was awake. As she brushed her hair, the final tears of the day escaped her eyes, she would not allow herself to cry anymore; weeping was not going to help Loki.  
  
X  
  
Her heels clicked on the stone floors as she made her way to the throne room where she knew Odin would be waiting. Taking her place by his side, she waited, knowing that once the current meeting was over, Thor would make his appearance.   
  
It was not necessary for her to attend these meetings, they were just simply queries from Odin's main guards and warriors, seeking advice on weapons, strategies and techniques, which often left her uneasy, especially when a young boy, barely into manhood, spoke of killing, fighting and giving his life for Asgard. If Odin enquired why she had chosen to attend the event, she would simply state that she had heard rumours and wished to see if they were true (which would end up, of course, being just that, rumours), it was not just Loki who was good with words, Frigga had a silver lined tongue too when she had to. Sure enough, Odin turned to her and asked "My dear, why have you chosen to attend my meeting, I thought you usually preffered to stay away from these types of events?"  
  
"Oh yes my Lord, you are quite right, I much prefer to stay away, though recently I have heard a number of rumours that there were possible sightings of enemies, and that we had lost a few men in the forests. I only wanted to see how true the rumours were."  
  
"They are just that, rumours. We have been all clear for a long time now and no men have been lost at all, in fact, the armies are much larger than we have had in centuries. There is nothing to worry about." He smiled at her, an affectionate smile that was twinged with sadness.  
  
"Well that is music to my ears, I can make sure the rumours are spread no more. However, I shall stay now that I am here, it would not do for people to see me leave so soon, they may think I have no respect for your men." Odin gave a slight laugh and turned away once again to another young looking soldier, Frigga smiled to herself, oh yes, she had played that very well.  
  
It was nearly an hour after Frigga had arrived that the council was ended, a large group of men exited the hall, speaking among themselves and bowing to herself and Odin. She wished to make everything with Thor look as natural as possible, so she stood up- as if to leave- just as her son walked up to his Father.  
  
Turning around, faking surprise, she said "Thor, to what do we owe this pleasure?"  
  
Thankfully, he played along, and made it seem as if he hadn't spoken to her all day. "Mother, it is lovely to see you today, I should make more time to spend with you. I am afraid I come here seeking advice from yourself and Father regarding...." he visibly swallowed a lump in his throat, "...Loki."  
  
"What has he done now?" Odin's voice deepened, anger flashing across his eye. It truly saddened Frigga to see he had lost all affection towards their youngest, there was no longer any hope remaining, he just waited for the prince to slip up again.  
  
"It is hard to explain my lord...." And with that, Frigga had to once again sit through Thor's explanation of Loki's current condition. He did not say as much as he did to her, especially with delicate matters such as the bladder incident, but it pained her to have to hear it over again when it was already fresh in her mind; and now she could add the images of her nightmares to the stories and it filled her heart with more pain than any physical injury could ever elicite. By the time Thor had finished, she was about ready to grieve once more, but knew it would do no good. Though she knew she had to make it look like it was her first time of hearing this (which wasn't hard as it brought a new bowt of emotions listening a second time), she also had to make herself seem opposed to it all. Chancing a quick glance to her husband, she saw one small hint of emotion playing on his face, his mouth was sad and his eye wasn't quite as focused as it was when he was in full power. It was as if he was in a distant world, or even a dream like state, he did not look _at_ Thor, but through him. It was a few seconds before he seemed to regain his senses and Frigga could almost here the click of him returning to the hall.  
  
"How do you expect me to believe everything is not just another one of his tricks. For all we know, he is playing with us in order to gain sympathy. You said yourself how he used your feelings for him on Midgard to lower your defense, he is probably doing the exact same thing now to gain freedom so he can run again."  
  
"But Father..."  
  
"No Thor! He has played us one too many times and I shall not fall for it again. He is no longer a member of our family and shall only be treated as a prisoner. We do not care for the wellbeing of traitors, we leave them to die if necessary. That is all I have to say on the matter."  
  
Frigga supressed a whimper, Odin's words were like a knife to her heart; her throat closed up, her stomach twisted into knots and her hands began to shake as she gripped the arms of her chair. How could he? Of course Loki had done terrible things but surely there was still something there, something he held dear to keep his youngest safe. She made a decision that she would defend Thor, not caring what Odin thought of her, she was a mother first, not just a queen. Just as she was about to voice her opinion, a prison guard ran into the hall, breathing heavily.  
  
"My lord, I apologise for interrupting, but we have a problem with the prisoner." Everyone knew who he spoke of, for Loki was their only prisoner at that moment.  
  
"If he has escaped I shall have whoever is guarding him's head." Odin stood up, tense.  
  
"No Sire, he has collapsed and seems to be fitting."  
  
That was enough for Frigga, after everything she had heard, all the dreams and stories of Loki's treatment, she was up and rushing past Thor and the guard, picking up her dress so she could move faster. Within a few seconds she heard heavy footsteps behind her, the hum of mjolnir told her it was her son and she held out her hand for him to take.  
  
"What happened?" She asked as they ran into the cell area.  
  
"Nothing. He was sleeping, having another nightmare. The next minute I believe he was sleepwalking to some degree, he was talking to himself and still seemed to be seeing something that wasn't there. That's when he collapsed and began to convulse."  
  
By this point, they had reached to door to Loki's cell, which had remained closed. Frigga looked in and saw his frail body spasaming on the floor. She was about to open the door when Odin pulled her away, she hadn't even heard him approach, mainly due to the thumping of her heart in her head.  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Leave it. It will pass."  
  
"How can you watch as he suffers? Did you not hear a single word your son spoke just a few short moments ago?"  
  
"This is Loki, the trickster, known even on Midgard for his mischievous ways."  
  
"Yes, mischeivous, not evil. Games, tricks, boystrousness."  
  
"Then how do you explain his actions on Midgard?" Frigga was ready to burst, she had to fight back the urge to strangle her husband, or slap some sense into him.  
  
"He was threatened, tortured and held captive. Even you would lose sight of the truth after so long. I bet if Thanos got his hands on you, within a few weeks you would turn on Asgard just as Loki did. You bend someone, _anyone_ , long enough and they break!"  
  
At the mention of Thanos' name, Loki seemed to wake from his fit, sitting up and turning to the people staring in at him. Frigga recoiled when she saw him bare his teeth like a rabbid dog, he folded in on himself and stared daggers at Thor.  
  
"A guard summoned us Loki, they said you were ill." She knew he would attack Thor for telling his parents about what had been happening, so she made sure he knew it was not for that reason they were there. She only hoped Odin kept his mouth shut.  
  
"Leave me."  
  
"Let us help you."  
  
"I said," the poison was pulsing through his voice, " _leave_ me."  
  
Odin did, not even waiting to hear anymore, he swept past Thor and out, leaving Frigga shaking, not taking her eyes off Loki. She jumped when a hand on her arm pulled her  away from the cell, and as she turned, she saw Thor, standing his ground, gesturing for her to follow Odin. Not daring to look back, she followed her husband's leave and walked back to the throne room.  
  
Once seated, Odin turned to Thor, a thoughtful look on his face. "I shall allow the healers to give him sleeping medication. That _will_ stop the nightmares, so if they carry on, we know he is playing us. Do not tell him we are drugging him, tell him nothing. And Thor...stay away from his cell. That is an order." Frigga was glad Loki would get some form of relief, yet she was also curious to see if what Odin was saying was in fact true; was Loki tricking them? She mentally slapped herself for doubting her son, though it was hard to stay trustful of him after everything.   
  
"Thank you AllFather. My queen." Thor bowed to them both, and left.  
  
"I think I shall get some fresh air." She bowed to Odin and walked the same way Thor had done, she no longer cared if Odin grew suspicious.  
As soon as she was away from the hall and the majority of guards and servants, Frigga quickened her pace slightly to catch up with Thor. Falling into step with him, she snaked her arm through his. "Do you think he is tricking us?"  
  
She felt Thor tense at the accusation. "You are questioning it. Now?"  
  
"I know. I am sorry. But it never occurred to me he could be...no, I am being ridiculous. Of course you are right. It is just so easy for your Father to sneak thoughts into my head, especially when I have had little sleep."  
  
"I am worried Mother. Worried that the nightmares may be too strong for even the healers' strongest medication to prevent. So if they fight through and he still has them, Father will believe it all to be a lie. Even I may begin to question it all."  
  
"You did the right thing you know." She could see he doubted himself for going to Odin. "I am very proud of you. I always have been. Your father is too, deep down."  
  
"Maybe if you both had been a little more proud of Loki, none of this would have happened." He pulled away from Frigga and left her stood still, shocked, in the hallway.   
  
Could everything really have been prevented if Loki had been treated differently? Not just by Frigga and Odin, but Thor and his friends too. Though this was not her biggest problem right now, her focus had to be on the here and now. Above everything, she knew that she would get very little sleep in the next coming days, especially with the images of Loki's seizure playing over in her mind.


	4. Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Medicine time Loki...open up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for follows etc, much appreciated, as always. :) I hope this chapter isn't too confusing, it isn't to me, but my head's a complicated library so....
> 
> As always, no beta so all mistakes my own and I sadly don't own the characters or anything.

Thor could not help but think of everything that had been said, by him, by Loki, by Odin, the range of emotions was enough to cause his heart to hurt and his head to pulsate. Before he knew how long he had been sat in silence, a knock at his chamber door brought him out of his thoughts. A young servant handed him a vial of light orange liquid, telling him that only a few drops were needed in order to complete the task at hand. No-one other than Thor, Frigga, Odin and a few very highly positioned guards and healers knew of the plan, mainly because they did not want Loki to hear word of it, or rumours to be spread around the realm. When Thor first thought of administering the liquid, he worried about how he would do so, Loki rarely ate, so drugging his meals was out of the question, he also only had a fresh jug of water in the morning, so he could not bring him drugged water, as giving it straight to him was...well far too obvious. Now he had learnt of the small dosage needed however, he quickly figured out that Loki only had to eat a few apple slices, or a small bread bun, to get it into his system.

"Did they say how quickly it would work?" He had asked the servant.

"I was told that as soon as the recipient had it in their system, the drugs would be affective within the hour." It was clear she had no idea who was getting the medicine, but it was obvious to many within Asgard that it was some form of sleeping draught, as many had received some at somepoint in their lives.

"Thank you, here, take some silver for yourself, and a little for the healers who worked on this." He nodded to the vial then handed her a small handful of coins, she curtseyed and left. 

He would wait a short while before taking it down to Loki, he only hoped it would do as he planned, or Odin would dismiss Loki like the scraps of food left after a hearty banquet- nothing more than waste for dogs and rats to feast on.

XX

"What do you want?" Loki's words still somehow managed to drip venom even though it was obvious how low he felt. Even Thor could see the way he slumped, how his face was growing whiter, yet more grey, everyday, and how he no longer had any sparkle left in his eyes. It was like talking to the ghost of his brother, the way he had in dreams after Loki's fall from the Bifrost, nothing more than a delapidated shell of the man he once was.

"I came to see how you were. You really worried Mother earlier." He had learnt to shrug off Loki's vicious words, they no longer got to him, mainly because the more he spoke, the more pain he could hear in his words.

There was no response. Thor liked to think that Loki still held something towards their mother, and so did not wish to speak against her; they always had had a special bond.

"So how are you feeling? Up for a bit of bread, or a slice of apple?" Thor had decided to prepare both a bread bun and an apple with the draught, not knowing which Loki would go for.

"I am not hungry."

"Now please do not do this Loki. You have not eaten for days, you are wasting away...."

"THEN LET ME WASTE AWAY!" The outburst came so fast and out of nowhere that Thor visibly stepped back a little. A guard appeared with spear in hand but Thor waved him off, making sure he knew there was no present danger.

"You do not mean that."

"No, you are right, I am lying again." His voice reminded Thor so much of the wit that came with his friend Man of Iron.

"Loki..."

"What? You hate when I lie yet you seem to also run from the truth. Which do you want? Because I would like to know so I do not upset you further." The sarcasm in his voice actually brought a smile to Thor's face, it had been a long time since he had heard anything remotely resembling Loki's old self.

"The truth."

"I have nothing left. There is nothing left for me. No trust, no loyalty, no friendship- not that there ever was any- nothing. I can never return to the way things were before. And when I run, there are others who know my value or potential, they find me and use it in any way they see how. So I am left here, locked up, until someone may have use of me, or until the AllFather realises his mistake and finally sends me back to my true home. Do you see? My only relief would be death and you won't even allow me that."

"No Loki." Thor's voice was merely a whisper, full of hurt.

"You asked for the truth, oh brother of mine." And just like that, the honest and open Loki was gone again, and the creature that stood before him now was nothing more than the vile, twisted animal that attacked Midgard, with no care, even for his own life. Thor's time on Midgard had not taught him much, although he had heard Tony speaking of Bruce's bipolar/schizophrenic like tendancies. Natasha had told him off for joking about serious mental health issues, but it was Tony Stark, he wasn't completely sympathetic when a good joke was on the agenda. When Thor had asked of the named issues, he had been told that they were problems where a person could go from one personality to another in the snap of the finger, or even change into a completely different person alltogether- metaphorically of course. Now Thor knew Loki was above such mental issues- a God did not suffer like Midgardians- but the same symptoms seemed to be plaguing the man. It was the only logical explanation of his sudden change in state.

"Please eat." He pushed the plate in front of the man he no longer knew how he felt towards. There was still loyalty and love towards him, the need to protect him, yet he could feel it slipping with every breath. Now there was also hatred towards him, a small part of him could not help but see him as the monstrous Jotun offspring who poisoned their dear realm, who had tried to kill those he loved, and who he had witnessed turn into a monster so full of rage. "If you would like something else bringing instead, I can see to have it arranged."

"Monsters should not get the courtesy you are giving me."

"You are not a monster." Yes he is. That voice in the back of his head was slowly pushing itself into the forefront of his mind, and that was really not what he wanted to happen, because then he knew he would no longer sympathise with the devil. "Friend Banner told me he also used to think the same about himself, he still does. But that monster helped save thousands, if not millions, of lives, including mine. He is one of the truest and most trustworthy men I have ever had the pleasure to know, and completely changed my perspective of mortals. What is inside you does not make you who you are, you do that on your own. And if you are willing to fight your demons, then you can be the person you want to be...when you are too scared to fight it, when you run and hide, that is when you fall and become the monster, because that is when you no longer care."

Loki seemed moved by the words, he sat in stunned silence with a slight wobble of the bottom lip and one hint of tears in his eyes. He seemed to think it through before the true emotions broke through and burst forth. "How sweet, poor little Thor, trying to become a King, trying to be a protective brother. It's too late, you cannot have the Loki you once knew back, he has gone, he is mine."

"And who are you?" Thor was shocked at the sudden information, but did not allow it to show on his face, that would casue 'Loki' to close up.

"The new God of Michief." That smile was back.

He knew it sounded ridiculous but he repeated the question, and would until he got a response he was happy with, "Who are you?"

"Oh come now boy, do not be so stupid. This is me."

"I have spoken to many forms of Loki in this cell, ones where he resembled the same brother I once knew, where he seemed to be coming through, wanting my help. And then there is you, this monster I fought on Midgard."

Loki sucked in a breath, screwing up his face, "oooh, Thor, I would chose your words carefully, I don't take well to being called a monster."

"What have you done to my brother!" His voice deepened and he stepped forward, if Mjolnir had been in his hand, it would have been raised high, threatening this supposed traitor.

"I improved him, eheheheheheh." The laugh made Thor grit his teeth, it was a tortured laugh of the one he used to love. But all of a sudden, the person in front of him changed, yet again. The smile faded, the laugh stopped, and pain became etched on his face.

"Thor....make it stop." He bent forward and pulled at his hair with both hands. "Make it stop, make it stop, make it STOP!"

Thor ran forward, holding onto his once brother. "Please, tell me...what is going on inside you, who is doing this?"

"Make it go away." The Loki of aged 10 years was back, the one Thor remembered comforting on many occasions.

"I will, but I need to know how."

Silence, except for an occasional muffled sniff from Loki. Thor did not know what to do, he just sat there, fighting back the desire to hug the black haired man once again. Eventually, a rumble came from Loki's stomach which told Thor he secretly was hungry. "Eat."

"I cannot stomach anything."

"Not even your favourite apple?"

"No."

"How about another fruit, one that is more water or something?"

"Possibly..." Loki was shaking, the kind of shake that occurs when the body is low on food and sugar, yet another sign he was trying to fight back.

"Melon. I shall get you melon." Without even waiting for a reply, he ran off. The kitchen was a long run, but his determination made it seem like a small jog. He quickly found a fresh slice of watermelon and diced it into small pieces, knowing Loki probably wouldn't be able to chew large amounts. Before returning to the cell, he ran to his chamber to retrieve the medicine- he thought it best not to take it down to the cell in case Loki saw it. When a few drops were added to the food, he raced back to the dungeons to find his brother sat staring off into nothing.

"I am back." For Thor, he spoke softly, not wanting to frighten the young man.

"Where did you go?" Loki's confusion puzzled Thor; did he not remember?

"We decided you could eat some melon, so I went to get it."

"I am not hungry."

"Loki!"

No response came.

"Just eat. That is an order." He decided to try a different attempt.

"Or what!? Will you throw me in jail for not following orders? Oh...wait..." He gestured to his cell as if to emphasize his point. Oh, so they were back to that. The sarcasm was also back.

"Eat it!"

Whether it was him giving up, or another side of him coming through, but Loki took the melon from Thor and slowly began to put small pieces into his mouth, chewing nervously, as if waiting for the mouthful to come back up. After around 5 small squares, he pushed the plate away, and Thor couldn't help but notice the sheen of sweat that now covered his face from the exertion of forcing food down.

"Thank you, now would you please leave, I am feeling a little ill and would prefer some peace."

"Thank you, for at least trying. I hope you feel well again...brother." Thor decided to leave all the food he had brought, just in case Loki decided to eat more, and it wouldn't harm him to have a little more of the medication in his system. Smiling towards the figure now hunched on the bed, he turned and left, hoping beyond anything that the next time he saw the man, he would be at peace, or at least a little more than he currently was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know characters are often OOC in this, and I myself don't like it, but it just happened, so sorry. :/


	5. Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Results time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you followers/reviewers. As normal, no beta so all mistakes my own and I don't own the characters or setting, Marvel does. :)

It was around midnight, and Thor had only had a short nap. He could not sleep, which was most unlike him. The whole time, he was worrying about Loki, and replaying over in his mind everytime he had seen the man in pain. After laying still for so long, he decided to take a slow walk down to the cell, after all, he needed to see if the draught was working. In truth, the guards on duty were to give the findings tomorrow in Odin's court, but it would do no harm for Thor to give his own opinion.

After a peaceful walk through the now desolate corridors of Asgard, Thor came up to the cell, and when the guards noticed him almost immediately they straightened up.

"My Lord." The head guard bowed to Thor, with the younger two following suit.

"No need for such treatment. How has he been?" He nodded towards Loki's cell.

"Nothing sire. No dreams or nightmares. He fell asleep shortly after you left and has not awoken since. It is the most at peace I have seen him since his return to Asgard."

"Thank you." He walked up to the door, just to watch his brother sleep a little. If he thought about it, it was the most at peace he had ever seen Loki, for even in his youth, he suffered with nightmares regularly. His brother looked, and Thor almost hated to admit it, dead. With his pale, sunken face, his thin body and ratty hair, his small, short breaths, mixed with the fact he looked so peaceful and at rest, Thor could picture this as Loki's true death. If they had found Loki's body after his fall, this is what he would have looked upon as they burned him, surrounded by peace offerings and religious symbols. But instead they never found him, and the thing that did, did something so horrific, that a brand new monster was born, a monster with the face, voice and intellect of his beautiful baby brother. The thoughts made him want to hit something, but that would awaken Loki, so he pushed down the emotions, turned and walked back towards the exit of the dungeons. Over his shoulder he said "Come straight to me if anything changes."

"Yes my lord."

Blind hot fury was what lead him back to his room, he did not even remember walking the long distance, not even realising he was close until he saw the red silk of his sheets and curtains. Before he knew it, the anger released itself and he near enough wrecked his desk. It was never used anyway, luckily, and so would not be missed. He mainly used it as a typical dumping ground for dirty clothes or unwanted items; the wood splintered into hundreds of pieces, the paper torn, and the semi dry ink thrown at a nearby wall, creating an almost artistic mess.  
The only thing that managed to calm him down was the fact that Loki was finally at peace, even if just for a night. He relaxed when he pictured Loki sleeping, how he held a slight smile on his lips as he laid there, with no demons plaguing his mind. And that was enough for him, for now, he himself could sleep and relax.

X

The sound of servants entering his quarters was what finally woke him the next morning, it truly was the best night's sleep he had had (after finally falling asleep that is) since being banished to Midgard all those years ago.

"Sorry to wake you my lord."

"No problem. Thank you for the food and clean clothes. I shall return for my breakfast after visiting my broth...Loki." She nodded acceptance to him and busied herself as he changed into informal attire; he had no council business for a few hours.

Grabbing a few slices of oranges for Loki he began walking the now very familiar route to the cells; as he walked he thought he had never traveled down there more often than what he had in the past few weeks. The guards were just changing over when he entered, so he managed to catch the one in charge he had spoken to the previous night.

"Anything happen after I had gone?" He kept his voice quiet, not knowing how far it would travel in the echoey dungeon.

"There was a short period of unrest, but it seemed like a natural nightmare, one you or I have every night. It only lasted 5 minutes and he returned to his peaceful slumber. He woke up around half an hour ago."

"Thank you, now have a day off, you deserve it." He didn't really, what had he done? Nothing besides watch over his brother, but Thor was in a good mood. The guard smiled and left hastily, neither mentioned how Odin had actually told Thor he should stay away from the cell.

"Good morning Loki. How are you today?" He watched as the guards backed away but did not entirely leave and let himself into the cell. Loki was casually sat on the side of his bed, looking at his hands, which were not shaking as they usually were.

"I assume it is not news to you that I had a restful night."

"I heard murmurs from the guards. Here. I brought you some orange."

"I am not hungry."

"Do not start this again Loki."

"Did you have some of that Melon last night?" When Thor looked at him strangely, he just carried on. "It is just that it tasted a little strange to me. Unless my tastebuds just aren't used to it."

"That must be it, if you are not used to a lot of food..." He trailed off, there was no need to finish. He now stood in awkward silence as Loki swallowed a few mouthfuls of the orange. "So...you had no bad dreams last night?"

"No, it was as if someone had..." Thor knew how clever Loki was, and for these terrible things to suddenly stop, would come as a little suspicious to anyone who thought it through- which clearly had not been Thor, Odin, Frigga or the healers. "Drugged me...you drugged me. Did you not?"

"Why would you say such a thing?" As Thor was trying to come up with some excuse, he could literally see Loki change from the cool, collected Loki to the very hateful being Thor had fought on many occasions recently.

"WHY!?"

"Loki listen to me..."

"You drugged me like some animal."

"I could no longer see you in pain. I had to do something."

"And I presume the King and Queen are involved in this too. Because you could not have been allowed to do such a thing against their will, unless you went against them, which you would not do, been as you are such a wonderfully precious son." Spit was flying from his mouth now, truly like a rabid animal.

"They know you are struggling."

"How many times do I have to tell you, you are the worst liar Asgard has ever seen. They know everything."

Thor paused, and then, "Yes."

"WWHHHHHHYYYY!" There was pure rage on his face. It scared Thor to see it. It was far more than he had seen on Midgard, with his face red, his veins pushing through his skin and his eyes as wide as the moons in the sky. He had also risen to full height (another thing he had not done in a long time) and was now stalking towards Thor, cornering him on the walls of the cell.

It took him a few seconds, but his fear was overtaken by the same fury he had felt the night before. "Because I was so SICK of seeing you in such a state. You were in agony Loki, all the time. It never went away, and it was hurting me. You either cower away from me as if I am going to hurt you, or you hide your fear behind pure fury. When you are having a nightmare there is nothing...NOTHING...that can wake you up, and I fear that one day you never will wake up. When you are not being troubled by your mind you are giving up, you say over and over again how you wish you were dead and I will not watch you do this to yourself anymore. It reduces you to crying, bleeding and now apparently wetting yourself..." Hela he had gone too far, he should never have mentioned that.

"Oh I am sorry I am causing you so much pain. I shall perhaps mention it to Thanos next time he decides to invade my mind. I shall tell him how inappropriate he is being to my once brother's health. You can leave now, and never EVER come back. The next time I see your face I swear I shall rip it off with my own hands. And if I find out you have mentioned my accident to ANYONE I shall make sure they find your body covered in IT'S OWN FILTH."

Thor was beginning to lose his patience with Loki. It was all becoming too much. "If you hadn't have sided with Thanos in the first place, none of this would be happening. It was a stupid mistake on your part and now everyone else has to pay the price because of it. Why can't you see I am just trying to help you?"

"They do not have to pay the price, they can leave me alone and then there will be no pain felt by anyone other than me. I do not want your help. Why must you always baby me. The sympathy I see in your face makes me sick, I want to just claw away at it like a cat to a tree. Leave me alone. Leave me to my own devices and stop looking upon me as such a lost misunderstood child. I lost my way, but I lost it on my own. My own choices. There is nothing...NOTHING...you can do about it."

The argument had suddenly turned from Loki's health to his dealings with Thanos, but was it not all connected anyway? Loki had told him how it was Thanos that had broken him, cracked his mind like Mjolnir with ice. It all came back round to Thanos. Loki had told him how the titan had threatened Asgards safety and Thor's life for his loyalty, but the thunderer was now beginning to question that tale. He wanted to trick Loki, to question him, maybe the state he was currently in would provide another answer, possibly the truth this time."Then answer me one question. Why did you fight with Thanos, why him!?"

"You know as well as I do that Odin has tried to track him down for years, knowing one day he would rear his ugly head. He is one of the most dangerous threats known to Asgard, and Midgard for that matter. When he finally gains power, Asgard will see a war it has never known before, there will be more power, death and bloodshed than in the last thousand years." He lowered his voice so it was dripping with even more venom than usual, a wicked grin slipped onto his features and his eyes feigned innocence. "Is it not better to be the right hand of the devil, than stand in his path?"

Thor was dumbfounded, this was a completely different side Loki was taking and a different form of Loki he was speaking to. He had been speaking to his troubled brother on his last confession, and now he was speaking to the mad monster who _used_ to be his brother. What the man was saying rung true; but he was Thor, he always would be the man who fought til the death, never becoming the villain to protect himself, never giving up as Loki was now. In that moment, all feelings he had tried so desperately to force back came rushing out.

"Then you are more weak and pathetic than I ever imagined Loki Laufeyson."

Taking one last disgusted look at the man he had once called brother, he turned to leave. There was no longer any sympathy left in him and for all intents and purposes, he did not care if Loki suffered anymore, he could scream himself to death in that cell and Thor would not blink an eye. Even the slightly hurt look playing on Loki's face, one that would usually freeze his heart worse than a Jotun's touch, did nothing. _"Pathetic."_ He spat out, just before he finally left the dungeons.


	6. Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, how will Loki respond to Thor's last words?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reviews/follows. Because I have a few hours to spare, here is another chapter, a bit shorter (I think). I may update twice a week from now on, I'll see. :)
> 
> As usual, no beta so all mistakes my own, and I don't own the characters.

_Get a grip you fool._ He was Loki, the most vicious, cold hearted man in Asgard. He was the monster whispered about by scared children and their parents, the traitor who deserved nothing but a slow and painful death. So why in all of Valhalla did Thor's words hurt him so? Why was the thumping of his heart hammering like Mjolnir in his ears and head? His hands shook, just as his lips did, trying his hardest not to scream, yell...or cry.  
  
The walls in his mind were beginning to crumble, he was starting to break down and lose any control he still had left. No wonder he could go from monster to innocent in a split second.  Loki was a monster, a twisted image of who he used to be, yet that little pathetic creature kept forcing his way through too, playing damaged and begging Thor to save him. And then there was his connection with Thanos. It was not as strong as it used to be, but was defnitely still there, and would occasionally emerge to taunt Thor even more.   
  
That was what was happening now, the scared child he used to be was forcing his way back, taking over from the damaged creature he had become. The words had hit the right spot to strengthen his past self, to allow him access, and now here he was, sat, whimpering at what Thor had said to him. In truth, as honest as Loki could be, he was at war with himself. The two versions of him were at odds and fighting for the space of his body, if only he could decide which he wanted to win. The lost lonely boy who had fallen would bring his family back to him, bring him home, but with that would bring more lies, deceit and betrayal at having to pretend he was the same boy who had grown up under the All-Fathers house. Yet allowing the monster to reign free would make sure he was feared, not belittled, and that the only lies in his life would be his own, though this would bring pain, lonliness and torment. In other words, he could not win, either way would bring its own share of happiness and misery.   
  
He wanted his mother. How childish could his thoughts become? This was Loki, the trickster god, the liesmith, the monster, and he was sat here wanting his mummy! Out of everything, the events had made him realise one thing, that Frigga would always be his mother, whether by blood or love alone. But surely then, by that realisation, he must also come to the same conclusion about his brother, especially after all the love Thor had shown him over the years.   
  
"Thor." It struck him so suddenly that he subconsciously made his way to the door of his cell, gripped at anything he could find to hold, and shouted his brother's name down the corridoor. "Thor!" He shouted louder than before.  
  
"What do you want?" One of the guards spat back. The anger of the worm beneath him was enough to bring some of the silvertongue back.  
  
" _I want Odin_...who do you think I want! If you shouted your wife's name, would I bring you a whore!"  
  
"My Wife is dead."  
  
" _Bless_."  
  
"She was killed by your kind." Now that stopped Loki's tongue. _His kind_ , he assumed he meant the Jotun scum. But how? They had not invaded Asgard, and she definitely wouldn't have been down in the treasury or weapons vault when they came to take back the casket.  
  
"How?" His voice now held none of the mocery it did before, but sympathy and questioning.  
  
"She was a maid. When Laufey came to kill the AllFather, she was doing her rounds and came into contact with him. For no good reason he just killed her. I found her frozen, covered in ice, still with the tray of empty plates in her hand."  
  
"But I concealed them, Laufey had no reason to kill anyone, it would have given him away." He mainly spoke to himself, but allowed his voice to carry anyway.  
  
"I do not know, all I know is that your kind need destroying, every last one of them."  
  
"Have care how you speak." This voice was low and much deeper and it took Loki a few seconds to realise it was that of Thor. "Excuse us."  
  
The guards nodded and left, leaving Thor and Loki alone once again. Loki smiled slightly at the thought of these guards actually having a very easy job with the amount of times they were asked to leave.  
  
"Heimdall told me you were calling for me." Thor was now in front of Loki, only the cell door separating them. The anger was still very much there in Thor, his body was rigid, his face was creased in fury and his fists were balled as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"I was."   
  
"Why?"  
  
"The truth..." He could physically see the mistrust that word brought into Thor, "...is I do not know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I am not sure why I called for you."  
  
"Then I shall leave." He began to walk away.  
  
"No!" Loki reached his arm through the bar, just missing the fabric of the thunderer's tunic. He must have felt it though, as he brushed the feeling away with his opposite hand before stopping, however he did not turn around. "Please. I...I...I am so confused."  
  
That was clearly enough for some of the anger to leave the Son of Odin, he released some of the tension in his body and turned slightly.   
"Loki?"  
  
"I cannot control myself, my emotions. It's _him,_ I can feel his anger, his hatred, it is inside me...fighting me, please."

Thor did not move or say one word. Maybe he had finally done what he had wanted to do for so long now- push his brother away completely.

He looked into his brother's eyes, pushing himself as close to the door as possible. " _Please,_ I do not know who I am anymore."  
  
Before his very eyes, he saw the man he had once called brother turn fully to face him, reposition himself that reminded him oh so much of Odin's kingly stance and get a look in his eye that said he had had enough of him; not of his lies, or his actions or his betrayal, but of Loki himself. "You are Loki Laufeyson. The god of trickery and lies. The one who is to stay in this cell for the rest of his life."  
  
He couldn't even allow the word 'no' to pass his lips, his body would not allow him. He was resorted to shaking his head as fresh tears spilled into his eyes. His heart hurt, physically hurt, and his legs gave way. His warm forehead found the cool wood and metal of the door and he sat weeping as he heard his ex-brother's footsteps slowly dying out.  
  
With one last final push, he screamed "HELP ME!" down the hall after his brother before continuing to scream bloody murder, not one full of agony or hatred (for once) but of pure desperation and sorrow. He stayed where he was on the floor, his throat spent and dry after screaming, his body aching. Before sleep claimed him, he managed to move himself so his head touched his knees and his back arched, much like the position of an unborn babe.  
  
'Pathetic' indeed.


	7. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for reviews. :) I know I wrote Thor a little harsh, but I feel that at times he would begin to doubt his love for Loki (as we see at times in Thor: TDW), but it won't be for long. This chapter was a little harder to write so I'm not very pleased with it, I hope it isn't too complicated or weird. I have also sort of created Thanos' story for my own purposes (i.e. not his history in the Comic universe), to fit with the fic.
> 
> As usual, no beta so all mistakes my own, and I don't own the characters, Marvel does. :)

"Thor?" His mother's voice broke him from whatever trance he had found himself in. As he looked up and around, he saw he had sat down on a bench halfway down a corridoor overlooking the now nearly rebuilt Bifrost, completely subconsciously.  
  
"Oh, Mother, I did not hear you coming." He moved up so his mother could sit beside him.  
  
"Sweetheart, I have been stood here for a good minute, trying to get your attention. You must have been truly deep in thought."  
  
"I am so angry mother." He didn't look up from a spot on the floor, but he noticed he was working his hands in frustration so as not to lash out at anything nearby- most likely a stone pillar or carving of a long past warrior.  
  
"I can see. I have not heard from you in days and here I find you looking like you have just been defeated in a great battle." It was true, he had ignored all contact as much as possible for the last 3 days since conversing with his 'brother' in fear of lashing his anger out at them.  
  
"Loki...he..." It was enough, enough for Frigga to tense slightly beside him, surely if the situation was angering Thor, who was so intent on protecting the younger son, then it was a grave matter indeed. Thor knew this was exactly what Frigga was thinking, for he was thinking it himself, he was so close to giving up on his brother that he was mad at not just Loki, but himself.   
  
"Please do not give up on him. I can see it in your face. Please Thor."  
  
"He told me he would rather fight for the devil than against him.  He gave up, after everything. The pathetic little..." A slap stopped him mid sentence. It was an awkward slap, due to the angle he was facing away from his mother, but it hurt all the same.  
  
"Do you not remember any of your teachings?"  
  
"What? What have they got to do with this?"  
  
"Your lesson on the greater titans who were banished thousands if not millions of years ago?"  
  
"I believe I missed that one."  
  
"You never missed a lesson."  
  
"What is your point mother. I will be honest, I remember little of that particular subject."  
  
"There was a titan lord, who's power came solely from the tesseract. He had the ability to control anyone under his power, in some way or another. For mortals, it was complete mind control, where they had no choice but to do as he said, for more powerful beings, like Aesir, it was more a case of changing them to fit his needs. One story told of how he turned the most peaceful sorcerer, who would not use her powers against anyone, even Death herself, into his own personal warrior."  
  
"How?"  
  
"He changed memories and started new ones." The simple sentence was like a knife to Thor's heart.  
  
"So if it was the same titan who had hold of Loki then everything he believes to be true, is not."  
  
"Maybe not everything, most likely, his memories have been changed slightly to make those around him look worse. It is like you said, he told you that you threw him from the Bifrost when in truth, he let go and you would have done everything to save him."  
  
"He said he was confused."  
  
"And we know as good as anyone that Loki is the smartest person in the nine realms, therefore, for him to be confused is a clear sign something is very wrong."  
  
"I still do not see the need for the slap and lecture?"  
  
"The slap was for bad mouthing your brother. And the _teaching_ was to remind you that if this was the same Titan who had hold of Loki, it will take a great deal to help him. He did not _give up_ as you put it, he was molded to suit the purpose he was given. Whatever was done to him would have seriously changed our Loki, so we need patience."  
  
"I try. Believe me I try, but he is making it hard. Everytime I feel myself talking to the 'old' Loki I call him brother, but it seems to change him and he spits it back in my face, like poison."  
  
"Maybe it is not you he is aiming it at. Maybe he is trying to persuade himself that it is true;  he probably feels he does not deserve to be anyone's brother and does not want you to be brought down in the eyes of others for caring for him as you used to. People do not like that you still show love for him, and I think _our_ Loki knows that. At first, yes, he possibly did say it to spite you, because he was so full of hate, but not now sweetheart, now he's just trying to distance both himself and you, from each other."  
  
"Will you go and speak to him?" Thor knew his mother did not wish to see Loki in this state, and he himself wished his mother to stay as far away from the cell as possible, if it was affecting him, Valhalla knows what it would do to her.  
  
"I..." For once, the strong queen was tongue-tied.  
  
"I will come with you."  
  
Before either had the chance to speak again, a guard walked to meet them. "My Queen." He bowed. "My prince." He bowed again. "I come with word from the AllFather. He wishes for  your presence in his private chambers."  
  
"Thank you." Frigga waved him away before turning to look at Thor. "Private?"  
  
A couple of minutes later, Thor found himself seated in a high backed chair facing Odin. The old King looked tired, not yet ready for the Odinsleep, but enough to show worry he had been trying to hide recently. "I feel I must apologize, for the way I have been treating the Loki situation. Whilst I still feel parts of this are another trick, I should not have taken my anger out on either of you."  
  
Thor felt like talking back to his father, but thought better of it, yet he also felt this was not the real reason they were here.  
  
"What has happened?" Frigga's strong voice told him she was having none of the Bilgesnipe dung coming from Odin's mouth. "I know you too well Odin."  
  
Odin sighed, and Thor swore he could see the shoulders deflate in front of him. "I had my highest guard come to me yesterday. I asked him to give me any information on Loki's well-being, especially when I heard Thor had not visited him in the last few days."  
  
So Odin did care a little bit then. "And?" The word left Thor's mouth before he could stop himself.  
  
"He is not fairing well. With none of the remedy he is being plagued with new nightmares and they seem to be growing worse. One night he woke up being sick, and there was blood coming up too. He is not eating and barely drinking."  
  
The words Odin spoke before the confession rose within Thor's mind. "And you said you still feel this is all a trick!"  
  
Odin looked away shamefully, his one eye dulling over with regret Thor had not seen in many years. "No." His voice was nothing like his regal words, it was that of a child being punished for going against their father's wishes. "I was very wrong."  
  
"Thank you for doing so, but why have you told us? As it is seeming more and more there is nothing we can do." Frigga's voice seemed resigned, as if she knew in her heart of hearts that the chances of helping Loki were slowly fading. What a difference just a few short minutes could do.  
  
"We can help him my dear. We can bring him back to us, we can heal his mind. As for the nightmares and decreasing health, that, I hope, can be stopped with the administration of the medicine."  
  
"You know as well as I father, that Loki will not take lightly to having medicine every day." For a few short seconds, he was re-living past memories of times when Loki was ill and thoroughly refused taking the intended medicine, it was quite amusing to re-watch, and it brought a smile on his face.   
  
"Aye, I do." Odin once again looked down with lost hope.  
  
"We will speak with him." Frigga suddenly spoke up. "We were actually just on our way anyway."  
  
Thor turned to look at his mother, who had straightened her back and held a positive gleam in her eye. They both knew that what they would find down in the cell would not be good, but they would have to take the rough to get to the smooth.  
  
"Then I do not wish to take up anymore of your time."  
  
"Are you not coming Father?"  
  
"No Thor, I feel my presence would upset him even more. But if the moment arises, please let him know that I pray for him every night."


	8. Frigga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reviews and follows. Here is Thursday's update, sorry it's a little later, I've been out today (watching Catching Fire, yay).
> 
> And as always, no beta so mistakes my own and I don't own the characters or Asgard etc, Marvel does.

Frigga felt sick. Her stomach was tightening into knots and her hands shook with worry. Loki had always been a sickly child but it was because of his heritage and the fact he had been a (she hated to say the word) runt of his kind. This was different, this was some mad and powerful titan messing with her son and she knew from years of reading and experience, that it could lead to very dangerous things indeed.   
  
"Do you wish for me to do this alone Mother?" Thor's voice broke the silence as they walked the corridoors down to the cell.  
  
"No sweetheart, I need to do this." She tried to smile at him, but it came out shaky.  
  
"It is just that you look pale." It was strange, it was usually Loki who took notice of her emotions and health, then frantically worried over her making sure she was ok.  
  
"I just worry, that is all."  
  
"Your highness'." The guards before them bowed as they approached the cell entrance.  
  
"You may take leave. Thank you." They were pretty used to this now it seemed, for they had already begun to walk away before Thor's words were spoken. Frigga smiled at them as they passed. She breathed deeply before reaching out for Thor's hand, he took it and squeezed reassuringly, before they both walked in the direction of Loki's cell.  
  
He was laid on his bed with his back to the door, slightly closed in on himself, not stretched out like usual. She could see his breathing was a little uneven and he shook slightly. There were traces on the floor where he had been sick, with the blood now dry and growing darker, and the food was beginning to grow moldy, with flies circling and landing on it.  
  
"Good afternoon sweetheart." Frigga stepped closer to the door as Thor unbolted it. The only response that came was one single cough. "Are you not going to welcome your old mother?" She tried to keep a light tone that spoke of fondness and happiness, but it was hard when all she could see was an injured animal that needed putting out of its misery.  
  
"Brother?" The door had now been opened and closed behind them as they entered, and Thor stepped forward, Frigga thought that maybe he hoped to gain a response from using the word which usually evoked a reaction, but still none came.  
  
The single cough that had come before now began to grow; there were just a few harsh barks at first but slowly it became a full blown choking sound that told Frigga there was fluid in his throat.   
  
"Get me a glass of water." She didn't even look at Thor as she gave the order and ran over to Loki's bedside.  
  
She turned him over and raised him as much as she could to see his eyes closed but his face a mask of pain. She tried to pull him up further but she was not strong enough, her lack of sleep had made her arms weary. It was Thor who came to her rescue as he thrust the glass of water in her hand before pulling Loki up into a sitting position, with the younger prince's back on his own chest. The movement had awoken Loki but it seemed to Frigga he had very little energy to respond, except for continuing to cough, which was scarily growing more violent by the second.  
  
"Here, drink this." She lifted the glass to his mouth and tipped it so a few drops fell into his mouth which he swallowed hastily. The coughing, surprisingly, ended swiftly and the raven headed prince sank back into the warm embrace of his brother- whether he knew it was Thor who provided the cushioning or not was a different matter, he looked too out of it to notice.  
  
"Thank you." She watched as he slowly focused his eyes on her face, a warm smile spreading on his own. "Hello Mother."  
  
"Hello my darling boy." She smudged some dry blood from his mouth with her wet thumb. "I am sorry for not visiting you sooner."  
  
"I do not blame you."  
  
The hand that had cleaned his mouth hung where it was as she realised just how warm he was. She softly caressed his cheek, before moving to his forehead, her brows furrowing in worry. "You are warm darling. Very warm indeed."  
  
"You mean warm for a frost giant?" He tried to smile, tried to put some humour into his voice but she could hear it dissipate quickly.   
  
Instead, she put warm, yet tinted harsh, motherly affection into her own voice in reply. "Now now, we won't be having that now will we."  
  
"So am I dying?" He paused, staring right into her eyes. "It feels as if I am."  
  
"What did I just say!? None of that talk."  
  
"That was about my parentage, not my health." She smiled lightly at the wisp of his old silvertongue lacing his words.  
  
"Sshh you. Do not get all smart with me. I did not come down here just to get sassed." Again, Frigga smiled warmly.  
  
"Then why did you come down here? After all this time." The playfulness had now been replaced by bitterness.  
  
The queen, once again, was at a loss for words; how was it, that she had been stuck for what to say twice in one day all for the same reason- oh right, of course, Loki. Thankfully, Thor spoke up.  
  
"We heard you were growing worse and we did not wish for you to be alone."  
  
"Oh, that is you behind me is it? You must be growing fat, I do not remember you being this soft before, I mistook you for a cushion." The words dripped venom, yet he made no move to reposition himself away from Thor.  
  
"Loki." She used that Motherly tone that warned him not to go any further.  
  
"You see mother, you see how he just changes in a heartbeat." She locked eyes with Thor, seeing a mixture of anger and grief at his brother's state.  
  
" _'Oh mother, mother, come wipe my backside, I grow tired of doing it myself.'_ " Loki mocked. "Is this why you brought her down here, because you could not handle me anymore, you grow tired of me, and that is why I have not seen you in so long, I assume you broke our promise too, I guess she and probably even _Odin_ know of our secret."  
  
"I do. I know of the threat Thanos promised you in order to do as he wished. And I know of the torment you went through before your time on Midgard."  
  
Loki scoffed, it showed his disappointment in his brother, and it showed the trust flowing away.   
  
"I am proud of you." This made him stand to attention, Frigga saw his eyebrows raise and his eyes do the same to meet her gaze.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You witheld torture, and a mad titan's toture at that. That is a great feat Loki, something not many people could do. And it took the threat to Asgard and your family's safety to break you. If you were to accept an order like that for any reason I am proud it was on the basis of your real devotion and allegiance." This had shocked her youngest son into silence. Of course it was bad he had accepted the offer, but being there alone, with no help, she was happy it had taken _that much_ to break him.  
  
"May I ask you a question Loki?" Thor spoke quieter than Frigga had ever heard him. Loki nodded, still shocked and clearly thinking through what she had just said to him. "Why, even though your thoughts had been altered, did you show no emotion whilst on Midgard? I looked into your eyes and saw only white hot rage."  
  
Frigga did not think he would respond, he had a look on his face that told her he would bite back at Thor any minute. But it faded and he released the tension in his upper body. "When you have lived through experiences that hurt your heart as I have, you tend to learn how to close off your emotions from sparing yourself the agony of re-living such feelings. Finding out the truth about myself killed me inside, you saw my reaction, you were on the receiving end of it. And what happened when the Bifrost was destroyed broke my heart until I felt nothing anymore, well, nothing but pure misery. I let myself fall because I could not bear anymore heartache, it would have made me sick. So you can imagine my surprise when I wake up in an unknown realm surrounded by nothing but darkness and death. Even before the chitauri and _he_ got a hold of me, I turned off my emotions, made sure I felt no more, I could not bear to go through it again. That is who you saw and fought on Midgard, a man who no longer felt the emotions that helped shape him, only the anger that had been wrongly placed in his cold cold heart."  
  
"Oh Loki." Both Frigga and Thor simultaneously said. Frigga had a passing thought that he must have had some emotion left to accept the task in regards to his devotion to Asgard, but she did not mention it, not now. A debate was the last thing Loki needed right now.  
  
"And now they're all coming rushing back to me, crushing me as they fight to gain space. I am sorry I am so peaceful one minute and a raging beast the next, it is just that I cannot distinguish between who I was before and who _he_ made me." He yawned following the new revelation, and Frigga stood from her position crouched in front of him to now sit on the bed beside her two sons. Thor positioned him so he was laid between them, shoulder to shoulder to shoulder.   
  
"Get some rest. We won't leave you." Frigga began stroking his hair as she had done so many times in her son's childhood.  
  
"Won't Odin be mad?"  
  
"No. In fact, he wishes to tell you he prays for you every night, and regrets all he has done." Frigga looked down to find her youngest already asleep, a small smile on his lips that was her only evidence he had heard her words.  
  
"You should sleep too Mother." Thor had turned his head slightly to look at her.   
  
"As should you." She smiled back.  
  
So, as a family, and in a way the three of them had not done for hundreds of years, they fell asleep, each in one another's safe embrace.


	9. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, and as always thank you for reviews. :) Today's update had me thinking, as I wrote it as a long one with a small break in the middle, but I decided to split it up into two smaller ones. I may upload part 2 of it today or in a few days I'm not too sure yet. Let me know what you think. I'll give a bit of a gore warning for this chapter, though it is very very small, but I know some people are a bit more affected than others. As always, no beta so all mistakes my own, and I don't own anything.

_A huge crash sounded from above him, far too loud for the normal sounds of Asgard's everyday activity. He shot up from his position in his brother and mother's arms and looked around. They were still fast asleep and clearly had not been affected by the sound.Looking towards his door he found it open, leaving his cell would bring consequences but he had to at least take a look, after all, if his family were in danger he had to wake them before it was too late._   
  
_As he looked down the small corridor, he found his guards laid flat on the floor, weapons thrown away. There was no blood but Loki knew they were dead, it was in the stillness of their bodies, the paleness in their faces and the distant whites of their eyes. Something was down here, and he was not going to waste another second to find out what. He made the decision to run, along with his family, to some kind of safety, even if he was punished for leaving the confinement of his cell. As he turned to awake his mother and brother a hand found the back of his neck and throat; it was much firmer than even Thor's grasp, taking his breath away in seconds. The hand lifted him off the ground, he found himself struggling and clawing at the fingers as they tightened but to no avail. His breath caught in his throat and he was losing air quickly, a small choked gasp managed to escape only to be followed by an all too familiar evil laugh from behind him- not that he needed any other clue as to who had a hold of him, it was obvious as soon as he awoke. His vision was already blurry, like there was fog in his cell, but he noticed the horrified gazes of his family as they woke to find the scene in front of them. Loki coughed one more time before being thrown against the farthest wall, only to fall into a heap as his back cracked in a way he had never heard before._   
  
_"I snapped your neck as I threw you and the wall finished my job on the lower part of your back, you should be paralyzed from head to toe by now." Thanos' rough voice managed to force it's way through the high pitched whistle in his head, like the one you get just before blacking out. And he was right, as Loki lay facing the wall he found nothing would respond, he felt no pain, no aching...well nothing at all, he was, just as Thanos had said, paralyzed._   
  
_"Loki." Frigga's voice showed him what he could not see, he could hear the tears on her face, the worry in her words and the way her heart was beating as her breath quickened. She gently moved him so his head was in her lap and he finally got a glimpse of her face, just as he pictured it. He needed to cough, a breath caught in his throat making him wheeze and splutter but his body would not obey him. Thor's hand fell on his chest, gently he could only imagine,as he looked into Loki's wide eyes._   
  
_"Do not fight him Thor, I can see it in your eyes, you go nowhere near him." So he still had the ability to talk, that was good, if talking was what you could call it, his voice was harsh showing clear signs he needed to cough and clear his throat, and it was weak._   
  
_"He is a mess mother, he needs help." Loki watched as Thor looked up to meet their mother's eyes. She could only respond by nodding, the slight motion causing the tears in her eyes to fall like raindrops onto Loki's face- not that he felt them. His chest was getting tighter and his breathing was worsening- the damn impact must have shattered some ribs too- so he laid there, uselessly, gasping for air like a fish out of water, the wheezing growing worse._   
  
_Thor took one more look at Loki before steadily rising, with Mjolnir thrumming in his hand (where had that come from, he hadn't had it before?), as he turned to face the titan who was lazily leaning against the door frame as if watching an evenings entertainment. Loki knew exactly what was going to happen, he could see Frigga tensing up beneath him; Thor would incapacitate Thanos, somehow, as Frigga got Loki out of harms way._   
  
_"NO!" Loki managed to shout, he willed his arm to rise to stop Thor but it would not comply. "You cannot. How many times do I have to drill it into your thick skull he cannot be beaten."_   
  
_His brother did not listen, so instead he was forced to watch as the two great men fought against one another. When Frigga felt the titan was down enough for her to make a quick exit, she scooped up Loki in her arms and ran; although he was a grown man, he was small and Frigga was much stronger than she looked, being able to drag even Thor's body around if she had to. They got as far as the bottom of the stairs leading up into Asgard (yes, he was below ground in the cell) before he heard his mother cry out as she fell, dropping his limp form and leaving him to roll until the bottom step stopped his motion. Thankfully, or not depending on what happened next, he was facing the action, being allowed to see what was taking place instead of leaving it to his imagination. He saw Frigga roll over onto her back as she recovered from whatever it was that had caused her to fall. It took him a few minutes to see her ankle twisted painfully in the wrong direction with a thick golden rope draped around it. He followed the length of the object only to find, to no surprise really, the other end in his ex-masters hand._   
  
_"He did warn you both." Thanos smiled. Loki then saw Thor crawling his way over to his mother, a bloody trail being left behind him. To Loki's pleasure (what little he could muster) the blood was coming out of a wound to his brother's leg, nowhere serious- for now. The two found one another and held on as they began to make their way over to him, but were stopped as hands pulled them back by their ankles. "It is a shame Loki...I promised you they would die in your arms but seen as your in the state you are in, that part of the promise I cannot keep. Nevermind, I will just have to alter it slightly, but I will not make it any less painful for you." The smile Loki saw on the titan's face was far worse than anything he had ever seen, it was even worse than finding out his true parentage and actually showed him that maybe he wasn't as much of a monster as he believed to be, with this terror stood in front of him, a Jotun was nothing more than an annoying, persistent, rat._   
  
_"Please...do not do this..." He begged._   
  
_"How many times do I have to say I warned you?" It was no question, it was his way of taunting the godling further. Slowly, he bent down, flipped over his brother, pulled out a knife that looked all too familiar and placed it in Thor's shoulder. The thunder god gave a pained grunt but did not yell out, not until the knife was pulled downwards, past his chest and stomach, to end just above his groin, like a hunter gutting a deer. It was not deep enough to see what lied beneath, but it was enough to let the blood flow freely and before long Thor, and Frigga, were lying in a pool of blood. Frigga was screaming, she could do nothing, Thanos had pinned her down, and she could only watch as her son bled to death, still with a defiant look on his face. It did not last long, the mortified wailing, as Thanos moved her so she sat, facing Loki, who was frozen in pure horror, before snapping her neck to one side, making a sound like a branch snapping off Ygdrassil._   
  
_"NOOOO." Loki screamed, and he could hear Thor using his last dying breath to do the same. As he looked at his mothers profile, he could see the last evidence of her tears staining her face. Thor's yell soon died out too, leaving a deathly silence in the darkened hall._   
  
_Footsteps slowly made their way into Loki's consciousness and he saw Thanos react to them as he turned his smiling face up to the top of the stairs._   
  
_"Ahhh, AllFather, how kind of you to join us. Come, sit, listen to the story of how I turned your youngest into my own personal slave." The footsteps grew closer and Loki noticed himself being hauled up to sit on a step as he was supported by the man he had once called father. Odin encircled his arms around Loki's torso and made sure they were back to chest so Loki would not flop down, and although he could not feel it, he sensed the embrace was not actually firm, but affectionate and protective._   
  
_"You leave this family alone, can you not see you have done enough."_   
  
_"I clearly have not, for you still live and Asgard still stands." Thanos walked closer, forming the familiar shaped staff, that had once belonged to Loki, in his hand._   
  
_"You will not take Asgard as long as I live." Odin's defiant voice flew past his ears like a proud eagle._  
  
 _"Well that is a part of the plan, kill you, your family and then destroy the realm." Thanos rolled his eyes as if figuring something out. "You are going to be no fun, I will have to carry you everywhere with me from now on." Loki realised he was talking to him, and it was true, he would be a dead weight for Thanos to have to carry about now if he wanted to continue his scheme of making Loki watch as Asgard fell. "Oh well, bit of a change of plan, but still good all the same."_   
  
_Loki just had enough feeling left to notice Odin's grip tighten around his son and his head move closer so the breath made strands of black hair flutter in the breeze. Thanos stepped ever closer and raised the sceptre, and Loki barely managed to breath out 'sorry father' before it plunged into his heart, through his chest and into the AllFather's behind him, rendering them both nothing more than pigs on a skewer._

* * *

Part 2 preview....

Thor had woken up when the first bout of Loki's latest nightmare took hold. It was not much, but his subconscious mind was now so used to the sound of Loki's peril that it awoke with even the slightest hint of his brother's distress. As he watched, he saw the face of a man who was starting with a particularly bad dream that had not yet manifested itself.

 


	10. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the long chapter, different perspective (now you see why I decided to split it?) :) I was planning on uploading Monday night/Tuesday time but I got distracted and busy, so it's here as normal. Thanks, as always for reviews and follows, I appreciate your support.
> 
> I do also promise there will be a bit of action soon, it isn't always just Loki in his cell being poorly. Now for the usual boring section- no beta, so all mistakes my own, and I don't own the characters etc, Marvel does.

Thor had woken up when the first bout of Loki's latest nightmare took hold. It was not much, but his subconscious mind was now so used to the sound of Loki's peril that it awoke with even the slightest hint of his brother's distress. As he watched, he saw the face of a man who was starting with a particularly bad dream that had not yet manifested itself. However, knowing how these small faces would soon show terror he could never imagine for a sleeping man, he readied himself. Sitting up, he took hold of Loki's hand and tried to wake him there and then- if he could wake him before it got too bad, maybe he could avert the trial. Instead of waking his brother, his movements had aroused Frigga from her slumber and she looked at him with a questioning gaze.

Before she could even ask he answered, "He is about to start with a nightmare." And then she too sat up, gently moving Loki so he did not fall back onto the stone wall. The two laid him flat on his bed whilst Frigga took up a chair beside his head as Thor sat half way down on the floor. He knew this was going to be a bad one, for the movement would usually have made Loki stir at least a little bit, but now he could only see the creases in his brother's forehead growing deeper.

"We need to wake him." Frigga whispered.

"I know, but it will be hard, believe me I have tried before." He rose from the floor and took a position on the edge of Loki's mattress just beside his brother's legs. He then watched as Frigga proceeded to try and awaken Loki, trying anything from gently tapping his cheeks and kissing his forehead to more harshly shoving his shoulders. He knew his mother would hate to put force behind her actions, especially towards Loki, but it may have to be done.

The nightmare grew in intensity before their very eyes and they were made to watch as Loki screamed in terror, choked as if being strangled and cry. Half way through, Frigga could take no more and she threw herself onto Thor as he held her. She sat on him like a child would sit on their father's lap, crying into his shoulder, but he did not care, if he could not help Loki he could at least direct his support another way.  
He looked over his mother's shoulder to see that Loki was laid stock still- a very unusual thing for these nightmares, usually he would be thrashing about and hitting at an invisible object. Yet whilst he was laid, as if paralyzed, his face showed a thousand stories and emotions, telling Thor that this was a particularly harsh terror. Maybe it was not one of his torture dreams, where he relived his time with the titan, but it may be one closer to home, the ones that shocked him into silence for a few hours after waking- to Thor, those were the worst, and those were the ones his brother would not utter a single word about, ever. For what seemed like so long, the whimpers stopped and his face calmed slightly, causing both he and Frigga to relax slightly. They both returned to their positions and waited for him to wake which seemed like a lifetime in itself. Frigga made a move to lean forward to caress Loki's face but stopped when he let out one almighty scream, not of pain, but of mortification. What was in this nightmare that caused him to scream like that? Thor felt tears prick the back of his eyes and his throat close up as he tried to swallow the lump that had formed there. His brother reverted back to small whimpers and sobs, his body shaking slightly but still with no significant movement. Finally, he spoke two words, softer and with more regret than he had heard in a long while coming from the silvertongue, _"Sorry Father"_. He looked up to meet Frigga's eyes, neither spoke but they knew what was going through each other's mind. As if to end the dream, Loki gave a choking sound before gasping for air as he woke, sitting up. Thor had no time to react, for his brother shot up from the bed and over to the door in less movements than he would ever expect from someone who had just woken up. He was visibly shaking, tremors wracking his already frail body, and he was hunched over, as if his stomach pained him.

"Leave." Thor could tell he was trying to play the Loki with no emotions left role, but it was not coming as easily as the trickster had hoped. When neither he nor their mother made no move to do as told, Loki raised his voice and repeated, "LEAVE!"

Again, neither party moved and he could see his brother's body shaking more and more as the minutes passed. He was nowhere near as clever as Loki, but he knew part of the shaking was from him straining himself not to be sick, to cry and let his body collapse on the floor; he could see his stomach muscles heaving for a start, his knees wobbling and his eyes growing wetter by the second. Soon, he saw his brother give in and turn away to the nearest corner to empty what little he had left in his stomach, a hand placed on the cold wall to steady himself, the other on his stomach.

"I will not let it happen." He whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

"Not let what happen sweetheart?" Frigga began to walk past Thor and towards Loki, her movements calculated and steady.

Thor watched as Loki shook his head and heaved again but nothing came up, resulting in a pained look on his brother's face, and it was enough to tell him his health was deteriorating. "Loki, brother, please let us help you. Tell us what happened."

Frigga had reached her son's side, she took Loki's head in her hands and, first, kissed his forehead before lowering it to gently lie on her chest. "Is it what Thor told me? About the threats dealt to you?" She paused. "In regards to Asgard and your family's safety?"

And just like that, Loki's legs gave way beneath him and he fell limp in his mother's arms, finally releasing the tears that had been threatening to spill for so long. "Oh Mother..." He sobbed out. Thor could take it no more, there was no way Loki was playing them. All his past anger deflated as he stormed towards the pair, dropping to his own knees and wrapping his arms around them.

"Please tell me Loki." Thor brushed some tears from his brother's cheek with the pad of his thumb, leaving it there for comfort- both his own and Loki's it seemed. Green eyes met blue, full of despair and surrender as the younger prince began his tale, starting (mainly for their mother's sake as Thor already knew the story) from when he dropped into the abyss, up until the nightmare that had wracked him that very night. Thor knew most of the tale, though he did not know about what the nightmares held, as Loki would never speak of them, and so they shocked him into the same frozen state his mother now was. Loki was not distancing himself because of hatred, it was the exact opposite, he was keeping them apart because he loved them and wanted to keep them safe. He explained to Thor that he felt the more he knew about Thanos the more he would want to go after him in revenge, and he would not see his brother go on such a suicide mission.

"I admit that I would have most likely gone after him, and would not have taken your advice not to." Thor said. "I still wish to find him, but I know how much this means to you, and all I want is to see you safe and happy, so I will stay away from him as long as it takes."

Loki nodded with a look of thanks on his face and Thor's heart leapt at the realisation he had just earned a little bit more trust from his distant brother. Thor observed Loki once he had turned away from him again, (he knew how much his brother hated being scrutinized) and noticed how he was hunched over, breathing a lot more rapidly than usual and seemed even paler than his normal complexion. His brother clenched his hands into fists numerous times though he was not sure if it was because of pain or fear. Loki was, and there was no two ways about it, getting very ill, in fact he was getting to a stage where his body was just shutting down through lack of sleep and correct nourishment, that explained why he was hunched over, because his stomach was paining him due to no food intake, and the breathing was his body grasping for fresh air to try and awaken his rattled mind.

"The medicine I gave you..." Thor began, and he watched as Loki shot bolt upright with a threatening gaze now replacing the fearful one he had before. "...it made you better. And I know I went about it the wrong way entirely but I need you to forget that ever happened. You need to take the medicine for us Loki, it will stop all of...this." He gestured over all of Loki's body.

"Why should I?" Loki's reply came as nothing short of a child being told to eat his vegetables- then again in the case of Loki he had always eaten his greens, leaving his meat and potatoes.

Thor was losing his cool quickly, it always happened when he was panicking, particularly over Loki. "Because you are dying Loki. I do not have to be a healer to see that. Yes, it may take some time but before then you are going to go through hell, you will be miserable and we will have to watch you slowly drift further and further away from us and not be able to do anything about it. As much as you think you need punishing for what you have done, this is not the way. You want to help us, you said so yourself, so help us, help us to help you. Please, do as we ask. If not for me then for mother." He knew using Frigga was his best option, all his life he had watched as Loki told his deepest secrets to their mother without thinking twice. He had watched as the pair grew a stronger bond than he even had with Mjolnir, full of love and devotion that nothing could get in the way of. But above all, after everything that had happened, he knew that Loki still felt that bond, and would not break it, for he loved his mother, he always would.

Before his very eyes, he saw Loki's straight stiff back weaken and return to the hunched mess he had been before, his eyes full of resignation and tears as he looked into their mother's eyes. "What do I have to do?"

Frigga took over. "Nothing my darling. Only eat or drink a little of something that has been tainted with the medicine and it will do the rest."  
"And for how long?"

Silence.

"For how long?"

"Loki...until Thanos' connection with you has been severed or he dies, this will be forever." Thor half whispered. "I am sorry, but it is the only way other than me going after him and..."

"NO!" Loki spun on him in seconds.

"I know, I will not find him, that is why you must take this medicine every..." Loki interrupted him, finishing off his sentence.

"...everyday for the rest of my poor pathetic life."

"It will help. Yes it will be a nuisance but you do not even have to know you have taken it. It is just a few drops into some water and it is over with. No more nightmares, no more pain." Frigga squeezed the hand that held her son's.

Loki looked like he wanted to put up more of a fight, like he wanted to say there was some other way than becoming some half invalid for the rest of his life, but he did not, and eventually he looked back into Thor's eyes. "When do we start?"

"Now. We wait no longer. I am not letting you struggle through another nightmare and I will not watch as you grow weaker." He got up and began to walk away when Frigga spoke up.

"He could do with some fresh air, do you think?" What was his mother thinking? Of course he needed fresh air, but how were they going to do that? There was no way they could just walk out of their with Loki in their arms, every guard would be upon them in seconds tackling his brother to the ground and beating him senseless.

"I do, but we are unable to give him fresh air mother, as much as it upsets me."

"Then how about this. I go and retrieve the medicine and I will have words with your father." She stood and walked past a gobsmacked Thor _and_ Loki. Thor hated that they were filling Loki with false hope; as much as he agreed Odin wished to make amends and make sure his youngest was better, he doubted very much he would allow him to leave the cell. And so, Thor stayed with a still shaking Loki as their mother left the chambers, her golden dress waving regally behind her, her golden hair doing the same.


	11. Frigga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, and thank you all so much for the reviews, I love reading them. I have taken a few creative liberties with this chapter a bit in regards to the backstory/history of Asgard, particularly Frigga's childhood, but it is only to paint a picture, nothing more. It comes from nothing of my (sometimes limited) knowledge of comic-verse or mythology, only from the strange tardis I call my mind.
> 
> Also, due to it coming up to Christmas, I have a little more time on my hands and I'm thinking of updating this 3 times a week from now on, probably Monday, Wednesday and Friday or Saturday, what do you guys think?
> 
> As normal, no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel, no copyright intended.

The walk to the cell seemed much shorter when she returned. The vile was in one hand and a bowl of fresh fruit was in the other. Her smile lit up her face, making it brighter than it had been since before Loki's fall. The guards stood before her as she descended into the underground corridor. She stopped in front of them and handed the eldest a scroll of parchment.

"Order from Odin AllFather. My son, Thor, and I will be escorting the prisoner to my walled gardens, along with one guard who will keep his distance but watch over us all the same. We will be out there until we are ready to return, but the first traces of depleting light will be a sign our day is truly over." She watched as the guard read the AllFather's wishes even as she spoke them, of course they would not, could not, object, but she expected some form of displeasure. When none came she carried on back to the cell. As she entered, she saw her sons talking like they once used to as children, sat upon the bed, cross legged. Loki looked much better, even in the short time she had been away, and Thor had a smile on his face she had not seen in a long while.

"And what are you talking about?" She smiled and perched herself beside Loki, reaching up to gently smooth some of his uneven hair.

"I was just telling Loki of Fandral's little accident last week. You know, where he got a little nervous when an old _'acquaintance'_ of his revealed she was with child?" She nodded in remembrance of the tale, she had, in fact, been with Thor when his loyal friend burst in in a fit of anxiety that he would be a father.

"Yes, he was a little worried to say the least, I believe he drank us out of a whole month's worth of ale and then preceded to stumble around the palace until he fell into a broom cupboard and got himself locked in. We found him a day later, completely sorry for himself and promising he would get us new brooms that were not covered in his stomach contents." She finished with a laugh. Over the years, she had become fond of all of Thor's friends, treating some of them like her own children.

"So Fandral will be a father then shall he?" Loki asked, a little of the mocking tone she knew so well coming back.

"No. It seems she was an escort, a mistress, and she was playing Fandral. Apparently the man who had impregnated her did not know her true lifestyle, and would be very angry had he known. So she sought protection from a high ranking warrior, passing off the child as Fandral's." She could tell Thor tried to put on a serious tone, but the giggling broke through. Frigga saw Loki's face, a genuine smile where there had only been fake ones before.

"Well, I could listen to these tales all day but I need some fresh air in my garden." She got up but paused at the door and as she turned she saw a horrified gaze coming from Thor along with a disappointed one from Loki. "Who would care to join me?" She smiled but noticed both looks turn to confusion. "Well...?"

"Mother?" Thor stood up and walked over to her. "Even I did not expect such cruel jokes from you."

"Jokes? Cruel? Me?" She walked back over to Loki and held out her hand. "I just wondered if my youngest would like to see my new flowers and water feature. The garden has changed a lot since he last saw it."

"You did not? How?" She did not have to see Thor's face to imagine the look he was giving, one that spoke of the confusion and doubt but also smiling because there was no way his mother would be lying.

"I can be very persuasive when I want to be. Plus, your father wishes to apologize, they say that actions speak louder than words and you know he is not always good with words."

Loki flew into her arms just as he had as a child and clung to her with such force her breath was taken away slightly. She returned the embrace and kissed his head as he softly let out a shaky breath full to the brim of relief.

"You have to promise me something though." She broke away and retrieved the bowl of fruit and medicine. Dripping two small drops of the liquid into the bowl, she held it in front of her. "This, must be _at least_ half empty by the time we return."

"I will try."

"Good." After handing the bowl to Thor, she linked both arms to her sons, her in the middle, and sighed. "Shall we?"

The walk through the halls was a steady one, especially as she knew Loki was not fit enough to go at full pace. It was also uneasy, as any servants they passed looked upon the wayward prince with shock, leaving Loki red faced and ashamed. A number of times during the walk she whispered to him, _"if you need a rest just say so sweetheart"_ , but he never mentioned stopping and so they carried on. The guard did as asked, he kept his distance but continued to remind them- Loki especially- that he was there, by coughing or clanging his sword several times.

As the garden came into view, she felt Loki relax but also breath in a sharp breath, afterall, this was where many happy memories lied, but memories that only reminded him of the past, of the happy lie he played a part in. "Come on darling." She gave him a slight nudge and walked through the enchanted silver doors into the gardens. It truly was a beautiful place, the sort of walled garden most people could only dream about. Flowers of every kind stood tall in their respective plots, with creatures making a home within; butterflies being her personal favourites. The walls were laced with ivy, honeysuckle and wisteria, along with numerous archways that were entwined by roses and clematis. Water features trickled slowly all around, with statues of long past but never forgotten rulers standing firm. Handcrafted iron lampposts stood around the area, waiting to be lit by the fireflies when their time came, they were not tacky or distasteful, but vintage and carved with care and attention. An old ruined prayer room stood proudly in the sun in one corner, a reminder of what Asgard had been through. When Frigga had been just a baby herself, Asgard had gone to war with numerous other realms and a large part of the original castle had been destroyed. This was long before the wealth it basked in now, as the main city was built with old rocks and bricks from the forest beyond. This was where the small building came from, and had mainly been brought down except for a few walls. Luckily, and by some miracle even Frigga could not imagine other than them being blessed, the wall that held the majestic stained glass window had been left intact, along with the glass itself. And so, when the sun was behind it, the colours shone through beautifully onto the grass, creating the most peaceful spot in the garden. This is where she seated herself, her dress fanning out around her, being painted with a thousand colours and shapes. Loki followed and soon so did Thor, who was keeping a very watchful eye on the guard as he stalked the threesome. Frigga knew he would not relax with the man standing so close, which would no doubt also set off Loki, so she turned, her kindest smile in place and said, "May we have a little space? The bench over there should be efficient, you can still see us and hear if we shout, but also give us a little room." She nodded to a bench near the one and only entrance. "Thank you my dear."

"It truly is an amazing place mother, and just like you it grows more beautiful with age." Loki was now relaxed, his back against a majestic oak. The sun and light from the window had already replaced his snow white face with a more healthy glow.

"Are you calling me old?" She jested.

"Not as old as..." _Father_ , he was about to say, she could see it beginning to form on his lips but he stopped, shrinking slightly at the realisation of what he had been about to say. Before, he would have joked all day long, bantering with her and Thor about themselves and Odin, but those days were over, and even the smallest wrong joke towards the AllFather could be taken the wrong way. An awkward silence washed over them, and as much as she wanted to break it she could not, for she realised that it would be damn hard to start a conversation that did not bring about old memories. Loki slightly picked at the fruit in front of him, she had made sure it was soft fruits so he would not struggle so much, and it proved to have worked, as he ate nearly 5 whole mouthfuls of watermelon and around 3 grapes. As he ate he looked around the garden and she saw him freeze when his eyes landed on a new feature of hers, a very recent one. "Is that...is that...me?"

"The one and only." Thor replied for her.

"Why?"

"The statues in my garden all hold a significant place in my heart, that one is my mother, that, my father, those over there are the King and Queen when I was growing up, and so on and so forth. So when I lost you, there was no way to hold in my grief, I wanted to look upon your face one more time, to tell you I was sorry and that I loved you, but I could not, I felt helpless. This was once our place, Loki and Frigga's walled gardens you used to call it, and I planned on keeping it that way."

The statue stood proudly next to a tall apple tree, basking in the warmth of the sun and the edges of the window's colours. The tree had been Loki's tree, planted the day he arrived on Asgard, growing as he did, each time he had been in the gardens he had made sure to water and care for it. Thor also had a tree, a pear one, but he had taken no notice of it and it had died before his tenth birthday; the stump still stood where it was though, as she would never be rid of it. The light caught a tear as it tracked its way down Loki's face and Frigga did not think twice to reach over and hug him. Thor, thankfully, broke the awkwardness by asking, in a playful way, "And where exactly is my statue?"

Loki turned, face now full of mischief. "The head was so big it did not fit through the door." And he laughed, and so did she, and then Thor followed and just as it had been before they all sat there smiling and giggling without a care in the world. For now, all was well again.

They completely lost track of the time they had been out in the garden and before long, dusk was approaching and the fireflies were beginning to take up their place in the lampposts, they did not do it by command, it was a sort of thank you for allowing them to stay within the garden. Hundreds of the creatures were needed to light up the large space, but they did not seem to mind. A cough echoed around them and she turned to meet the gaze of the guard, she felt bad for not checking up on him, but it had all been a blur and had gotten away from her. "I am sorry M'Lady, but the rules clearly stated that as soon as dusk approached, you would return inside."

"Yes, it did. Thank you, we will be with you shortly." As the guard took his place by the side of the door, she turned to Loki and Thor. "I am afraid that is it for today."

"Thank you. I will cherish this for years. As soon as I am free again I will return with you and we can attempt to maneuver Thor's big head through the door." He gestured to the statue of himself stating what he meant, and they once again laughed.

"Well I am not sure I can get a statue carved before tomorrow." Frigga smiled.

"What?" Both of her boys replied.

"Well, you are joining me tomorrow are you not?"

"Mother?" Loki asked, his brow furrowed.

"Oh, did I leave that part out? How silly of me. You have the right to 3 hours outside everyday from now on, as long as it is with either me or Thor and one guard." She was tackled again but did not mind one bit, especially when she noticed it was by both of her sons this time, Loki on top of her and Thor on top of his brother, scrubbing his young brother's hair and laughing.

"Get off you oaf, you are crushing mother." Loki's voice was full of joy, she just hoped it lasted.

They all stood up and scrubbed themselves down before taking their leave and walking back the way they had come. This time it was faster due to the strength Loki had built up and there were less shocked looks as most maids were either in their rooms or were attending their charges. Half way there she remembered she had left her shawl in the garden, so she bid goodnight to Loki and promised she would visit him in the morning. Kissing both her sons goodbye she thanked the guard and walked back to her gardens.

Bending down to retrieve her shawl she noticed the bowl of fruit beside it, she smiled as she picked both up, noticing that the bowl, once overflowing with fruit she expected to throw away, was completely empty.


	12. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reviews :) As said in my notes from last chapter, I should hopefully be updating this 3 times a week now.
> 
> As normal, no beta so mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel. :)

One week had passed since Loki had agreed to take the medicine and had been allowed a small ounce of freedom each day, and it was the best week he could remember having in years. Of course he was still locked up, still confined to his own thoughts and entertainment, which usually consisted of reading, but he was, for all intents and purposes, and as much as one could be in a jail cell, happy. His health had also improved greatly, he was no longer being sick daily, no longer had headaches and was eating nearly as much as he used to in his youth. The nightmares had completely gone and when he did dream it was of happy times, good memories or alternate lives when he was an Odinson. One thing he had not mentioned to Thor before was how he could still feel the connection with Thanos, it was nowhere near as strong as it had been during his invasion on Midgard, but it was still there, and was how the titan got into his head every night. Whilst the medicine blocked the nightmares, he also found it blocked this connection and he did not have to hear the grisly voice any longer, it was all finally over. He would occasionally burst into laughter from the happiness that took over his body, no doubt resulting in some worried looks from his guards; it was so good to feel joy and serenity as opposed to his anger and all of the other emotions that usually fought for space inside of him.    
  
He would never admit it, not to anyone, but thoughts of ending his life had wormed their way into his head more than once a day for everyday for weeks. It would have been the easiest and most painless way, to break the connection, to rid himself of all his worries and demons, and to make sure his family would not be touched. But was that true? Would Thanos have left them alone should he have taken the cowards way out? No, not a coward, just someone who could no longer go on, who was so broken not anything could fix. How do you repair a mirror when the shards turn to sand? Now? Now these thoughts had flickered to nothing more than small flames on a candle, easily extinguished, yet also very easily flammable.   
  
Of course he still felt remorse for his actions, and slight disappointment in Odin, but he was able to push them to the side, to make sure he no longer allowed them to fill his head with false lies.  For once in so long, the good feelings were able to force out the bad ones, he was so close to being the Loki he was as a child, and as much as he would like to disagree, he loved it.  But of course, peace can not last for long, especially when you are the trickster god and son of Odin.  
  
"These pears are delicious mother." Loki spoke as he was forced to lick his fingers to rid himself of the juices that had flowed down them. They were once again sat in his mother's garden, enjoying the lush sunshine and abundant food provided.  
  
"Thank you sweetheart. Anyone who says plants do not respond to a little love will never know the true taste of a fruit." His mother giggled as she took another bite of her plum and it filled his heart at the real joy emanating from her.   
  
"Aye, same for meat." Thor added, and Loki shook his head as he watched him bite off a mouthful of chicken from the leg he held.   
  
"Disgusting." Was the only thing he said, it always had been that way with the two brothers, he with his fruit and vegetables, and Thor with his meat and endless array of sweet desserts. It made Loki sick just thinking about it.  
  
"How have you been these last few days darling?" Frigga asked.  
  
"The same as when you asked yesterday mother." Loki answered, rolling his eyes.   
  
"I know but I worry about you."  
  
Loki scooted over to his mother's side and took her face in his hands, looking straight into her eyes, "And I am most grateful, thank you. But I assure you, if anything was amiss or wrong you would be the first to know." He then kissed her forehead for reassurance; he was doing that more often now, not just for her sake but for his, to preserve the memory, knowing how it felt to go so long without his mother's touch.   
The sound of boots growing closer made Loki worry he had spent too long outside and he would be punished, but surely the 3 hours were not yet over. Frigga must have thought the same as they locked gazes, both with an obvious look of tracking time in their eyes.  Frigga broke the gaze first as she looked over Loki's shoulder to the guards who had disturbed their peace. Loki shifted so he could see too, sitting with his back to his mother's chest as she placed a gentle hand on his waist.  
  
"My Queen, Princes, I apologize for interrupting but I come with word from Odin AllFather." The guard said.  
  
"You may speak." Thor replied, his tone showing obvious annoyance.  
  
"He asks for your presence in the great hall." He spoke whilst looking at the Queen.  
  
Loki felt Frigga nod behind him. "Ok. Thor, do you mind accompanying Loki back to his...chambers," She hated calling it his cell, "And I will speak to your father."  
  
"Oh, no my Queen, I was not clear enough. He wants all present. That would be you, Prince Thor _and_ Prince Loki." Loki could not ignore the sour taste with which the guard stated his name. "Immediately." The guard added.  
  
Loki swallowed, why would Odin want to see him? It could not be family based as otherwise he would be sent to his chambers and not the main hall, so that meant it had something to do with his punishment, or something worse.  
  
The walk to the great hall seemed like an age, and every step was heavy. The last time he had _physically_ walked down these halls was when he had been returned from Midgard, however, the last time he had _mentally_ walked down them was in some of his worse nightmares. The guards, who had turned out to be Thanos' minions had beaten him and lead him to his former master's bloody hands and the undeniable death of his family. At the memory- the images of the blood and his brother's eyes glazing over, the screams of his mother and the disappointment in his Father's eyes- Loki wavered in his stance and was forced to reach out for the nearest wall to save himself from falling. His breath quickened and he could not help but stop, wide eyed as he stared at the floor, trying his utmost best to calm himself. Of course, Frigga noticed, and Thor, and so did the guard. The latter was typically the closest one to him and reached out a supportive hand, but it reminded Loki too much of the dream guards and he flinched back as he hit it away, making himself smaller on the golden wall.   
  
"Sweetheart?" Frigga stalked forward more steadily than the guard and tentatively placed a hand on Loki's still outstretched, and now trembling, arm. "Loki?"  
  
He tried to block it all out, only focusing on his mother's voice and his own breathing, calming it as best he could. He daren't open his mouth, worried he would be sick or scream out of fear. Rationally, he _knew_ he was going to talk to Odin and that Thanos was nowhere close, but the memories were too strong in his mind to give him peace. Voices became foggy as his vision blurred and his ears rang out and he found himself sliding down the wall, the motion being the only thing he felt able to do. It was strange to him that, whilst he knew what he was seeing around him, his brain was not able to function outright and would not, or could not, process it into tangible things or thoughts- he saw the outline of Thor, and the red of his cape, but he did not see Thor or the red cape, it was just blurrs, and the objects were just.... _there._   
  
He closed his eyes, lying his head back on the cold wall, relishing the feeling. A heavy feeling landed on both his face and his chest and, somehow, he knew them to be the hands of his mother, trying her damned best to calm him and bring him back to Asgard. His vision was no longer black, but red, the same horror red of his nightmares, the blood of his brother painting his face and hands and running down the golden walls. His brain was telling his body that if he could not walk to the hall, then his nightmare would not manifest and Thanos could not get his hands on his family. So there he sat, his legs not responding and doing their best to impersonate lead weights, or more likely as if Mjolnir herself was sat atop them.   
  
"Come back to me sweetheart. Come back." Frigga's silver voice laced through his clouded head but it was still distorted. Then Thor's voice joined in.  
  
"Brother?" Somehow, and not even Loki knew how, but Thor's voice was the key to unlocking the door in his mind, the door that blocked him into his own nightmares, trapping him. Slowly, the fog lifted and the world around him fitted into place once more. As he looked down, blinking, to where the dead Thor had lied, he now saw his own lap, with his own shaking hands, no trace of the blood or false memory.  "That's it Loki, come back to us."  
  
His breathing slowed, returning to a more healthy rhythm, and his legs changed from feeling nothing at all to a most annoying tingling numbness. Puffing air out in long breaths, he finally looked first to Thor and then to Frigga who was smiling through worried tears.   
  
"And what was that about?" Frigga tried to make a joke out of it but Loki knew she was fighting off her own panic.  
  
He still felt like he would be sick if he opened his mouth, but he forced himself to speak as best he could to stave off even more attention and worry. "Memory." Was all he could manage.  
  
"Of?" Thor tucked a lock of black hair behind his ear, leaving his hand there just a second longer than necessary to show support.  
  
"Nightmares. My trips to the hall never ended well in them." He took another deep breath in. "I am sorry for scaring you mother."  
  
"Oh my darling boy." Frigga soothed him with soft strokes to the face and hair.  
  
"I also apologize for hitting you Sir Morgan, the guards in my dreams were not in my favour and so I assumed you as a threat. I hope I did not hurt you." The guard shook his head and smiled slightly.  
  
"No problem my Prince, I wish you to know, however, I would not harm you unless specified by Odin." Well that did not put much hope into him.  
  
"I do not wish to rush you but are you ready to proceed? Your Father will not like to be kept waiting for too long." Frigga kissed his cheek, thankfully bringing him back into reality that little bit more.  
  
"With a little help off the floor, yes." He reached for Thor's outstretched hand and paused, a mischievous glint back in his eyes. "But if anyone hears of you helping me off the floor, I will make sure _you_ need helping off the floor. And believe me, it will take more than just your Warriors 3 and the Lady Sif."  
  
"Mother, I would say he is already recovering." Thor chuckled.  
  
His mother smiled warmly as Thor helped him up, placing a soft hand on the small of his back to make sure he did not fall back down again. Frigga moved closer to him and wrapped her arm in his, though making it look like _he_ was supporting _her_ and not the other way round. As if nothing had occurred, they began to make their way to the hall to find out just what Odin wanted.


	13. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reviewers. :)
> 
> I'm not sure when updates will be next week but I will definitely still try to get 2 or 3 chapters up. :)
> 
> As normal, no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel, I own nothing.

The golden door seemed smaller than in his dreams, though this made him feel no less anxious and he had to take another few minutes to collect himself before he nodded to his mother for them to carry on.   
  
"Ahh, Frigga, Thor and...Loki." Odin's voice traveled from the head of the hall as soon as they entered, and he could not help but notice the pause before the AllFather said his name. "I am glad you are here, but I am afraid it is not a good reason for sending for you."  
  
Loki looked up, just to make sure it was in fact Odin he was in the presence of, and sure enough he saw the golden glint of his Fath- The Allfather's- armour and the mighty Gungnir he had once held in his own hand. He also noticed the hall was quite empty, with most of the usual servants and guards missing, though Thor's annoying warriors were present and a small thread of anger slithered it's way into his heart. He was not sure when, but either he or Frigga had broken from the other and now walked separately, but luckily, Loki did not feel the need for Frigga's help, it seemed the small trace of anger and jealousy towards the Warriors 3 and Sif was enough to bring just a small amount of his old confidence back. They reached the foot of the stairs leading to the thrones and stopped. Although very reluctantly, Frigga made her way up to take her place beside her husband, but Thor did not, he stood his ground beside Loki, something at which he was very thankful for.  
There was no niceties from Odin, not that Loki had expected any at all, as it was straight into the reason the AllFather had sent for them. "We are under attack." _Well that was straight to the point._ There was such a loud voice inside Loki telling him that he was here for one reason only, and that was because Odin thought he could use the cunning of his adopted son, before locking him back up again, the usual, Loki being used as a pawn as Odin saw fit.  
  
"I apologize AllFather, but I do not understand why I am here.  Surely you have no need for a prisoner." For once, he decided to fight the anger and behave at least a little bit like the Prince he still, technically, was.   
  
"I would not have called you here if it were not for the fact you were with your Mother and Brother." _Oh charming._ "Though I would have come to you anyway, so this is much easier."  
  
As if on queue, a large rumbling noise came from what seemed like a very long distance away, but Loki calculated it must have come from the forests, meaning whatever made the noise was a very big threat indeed.  
  
Odin recovered himself from hearing the noise and continued, though now it seemed, in a much calmer and sympathetic tone. "Loki, I wish I did not have to say this, but those who attack us...it is the Chitauri." Odin continued to speak, but Loki had no idea what he was saying, his entire world crumbled and his body shut off near completely. His hearing muffled, voices mixing together and becoming distant, his eyes blurred too, the clear shapes once again becoming colours with no defining lines. A hand fell on his arm, he knew it was Thor, but he could not force his head to turn in his brother's direction, in fact, he could not move anything. He did not want to break down, not here, not now, not in front of the warriors 3 and Sif, not a second time in front of his mother. By some will he did not know he had right now, he coerced himself back to the present, making the ringing in his ears a quiet squeak and giving the blurred shapes at least some definition. He also turned slightly to Thor, giving him a smile to let him know he was ok- he always had been such a good liar.  
  
Once Odin had finished speaking he sent them off, giving his final orders to prepare for an imminent invasion but to not make a move until he said so; Loki would have to find out what the King had said from Thor, it might have been important. Thor gave him a little push from behind and they both made their way back to their chambers, or more specifically, his brother's chambers. Before long the doors closed behind him and he knew he was about to get some form of petting from the oaf, sadly for whom, a switch had somehow clicked in his mind and any wrong word from Thor and he would feel the wrath of a vulnerable Loki. Strong hands made their way around Loki's stomach and a soft kiss landed on the back of his head, a very old childhood comfort for the both of them, yet he was most definitely not in the right mind for such sentiment. Quickly he spun and shoved his brother as far away from him as possible.  
  
"Get off!"  
  
"Loki? I only want to make sure you..." Thor got no further.  
  
"Make sure I was not going to cry again? To be that little sniveling baby you know and love so well." He used the most mocking tone he could muster, becoming somewhat similar to how Thor had faced him on Midgard. "I am not some weakling. I can take care of myself. I am more powerful than you all give me credit for and I could destroy any realm I wanted to." He could tell his voice was cracking, and he absolutely hated it. He truly was sick of allowing people to see him at his weakest, if he was to move on and become his own person, he had to build defenses. The more he thought, the angrier he got and so he began to pace. Up and down Thor's room he stomped, muttering to himself and shaking his head. On occasion, he would get so mad he grabbed the nearest thing and smash it or throw it- luckily most things were either Thor's unused books or discarded clothes. After a good few minutes he simply yelled "You cannot help" for no good reason apart from the voices in his head teasing him over and over again that he needed someone to come and release him from his own self made prison, possibly an even worse prison than any Odin Allfather could place him in.   
  
Breathing deeply, he turned to see Thor with tears in his eyes.  
  
"What are you crying for?" He near enough spat.  
  
"For everything. For this..." Thor gestured to Loki's current state, "...For what you are doing to yourself.  I saw you, in the hall, when Father said it was Chitauri, I have never seen you look so nervous, so petrified. You were a statue, I whispered to you so many times and you never responded, and I could see the heartbeat in you neck, it looked as if it was trying to tear its way out of you.  I know I am not clever, but I knew you were trying everything in your power not to fall apart. I am finding myself constantly torn between wanting to wrap you in my arms to keep you safe and keeping my distance and let you do what you want, to not 'baby' you. And it upsets me. Is that allowed?"  
  
He was starting to calm down, the small tornado of anger ripping through him beginning to ebb away and he allowed himself to push down the emotions further. "Of course it is, I am sorry, my emotions get mixed up when I am not thinking straight and it seems my initial anger at Odin was forced on you." He smiled as best he could to reassure Thor. "I admit I am battling the same war as you, there is a part of me that wants to fall asleep in your arms and you never let me go, but there is the voice yelling at me to be me. I am grown up now, I have seen too many things and I am not an innocent child any longer, this cannot go on, I cannot run to you everytime I scrape my knee."   
  
"No, you cannot. You are so much wiser than I brother, and out of the two of us, you are much older in your experiences, it should be I coming to you weeping. Yet I believe it has a lot to do with my own insecurities, I am so afraid of losing you again that I am putting a leash on you and for that I am sorry, for you can never truly reign free if you are inadvertently blanketed by me."  
  
Loki was about to say something back when the door creaked open and hurried, heeled, footsteps made their way to the both of them. "Oh Loki, you were right, after all this time you were right."  
  
"Well I do not wish to get smug and say I told you so." Loki said it as a joke, but deep down the words were meant. Frigga had thankfully stopped half way between her sons, meaning he had no worry over breaking down once again in her arms, particularly not after what he and Thor had just spoken of.  
  
"I came to make sure everything was ok, and to tell you that I will be right there beside you fighting..." Loki didn't let her finish.  
  
"No you will not. You are going nowhere near this battle and especially nowhere near those scum." He walked towards her, taking her hands in his. "I know you are a true warrior, teaching even Sif many of her skills, and you are so strong and capable, but please, for _my_ peace of mind, stay out of this."  
  
It looked like she was going to protest with all her might and powers as Queen, but when Loki locked gazes with her (he would be lying if he denied giving her the eyebrow quirk/puppy dog face look) she backed down, visibly slumping. "For you, and only you."  
  
"Thank you." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Now, you have to excuse me but what was Odin explaining to us? I was already thinking up battle strategies when he was speaking." He lied, a very easy lie he often used when his thoughts wandered in battle meetings with Thor and Odin.  
  
Thor spoke first. "He told us the Chitauri do not have numbers, which is very odd, he said there seem to be only about 100 or so and they also seem to be falling easily. They are close but have not yet infiltrated the citadel, but when they do it is our turn."  
  
Frigga then took over. "Since you boys left, they have advanced more quickly. They are beginning to enter the outskirts and will be entering our walls within the hour. Are you ready?" Loki noticed how she turned his way slightly when asking, and he guessed she meant more emotionally and mentally than physically.  
  
"We will be, give us half an hour." Thor answered.  
  
"I am not sure we have half an hour my dear." Frigga kissed both boys before leaving once more, Loki noted how she was trembling ever so slightly when she kissed his forehead but did not mention it.  
  
He turned to his brother. "Well then, we best get ready." Loki turned to change into his armour (which had somehow made its way into the bedroom) when he stopped, speaking gently over his shoulder, but with force and concern, "And make sure you wear your strongest armour, nothing less."


	14. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, new chapter. :) There is another little section to this chapter, I was undecided whether to stick it on the end of here or post separately as I sort of wanted a bit of a cliffhanger here and the extra section would have taken that away, so I decided I won't post it today but tomorrow as a little bit before Christmas as I'm not sure when I'll next be posting (it will be this week I just don't know what day.)
> 
> So anyway, thanks again for reviews etc and as normal, no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel.

The battle had been raging for half a day, night was now falling and the nebulae and stars were paintings on the endless sea of increasing black. Thor looked around him, warriors were standing, bloody, but strong, facing off their attackers. It was as Odin had said, there were only a few Chitauri, and they fell quickly, but he became aware just a short time later that said 'fallen' Chitauri were able to reanimate themselves, meaning that the 100 or so aliens quickly became 200, 500, 1000...infinite. He now found himself battling his way towards the Bifrost's observatory along with his Warriors, Sif, Odin and Loki. They knew of many abandoned planets and realms off Ygdrassil's branches that could be used to house the beasts and so they now fought their way through to open a portal, a portal they hoped beyond anything would work.  
  
Mjolnir was red with blood, scratched and blackened by the collisions with the Chitauri armour, and so was it's wielder. Thor was covered in sweat and dirt, both plastered to his face, as well as turning his blond locks to a horrid brown colour, though thankfully none of the blood was his own. A monster came racing towards him, yelling in rage, one he actually recognized from downing not long ago, mainly because of the arrow sticking from the side of its head. With one swift movement he drew his hammer upwards to crash into the beasts chin, before swinging it a second time into its skull. The loud crack of bone told him its death had come, though his heart fell when he realised the thing would be up and fighting again, somehow, in the next few minutes. This happened for hours, Thor found himself thinking how he enjoyed the thrill of battle, that was until he found himself reliving every death over and over again and fighting a war that instead of lasting half a day would soon turn into much longer; he did not even want to contemplate how long they would carry on like this.    
  
As he was lost in thought (a very dangerous past-time to carry out during a war) something flew past him, making him turn, just in time to see a Chitauri fall to the floor, dagger in chest, mere feet away from him preparing to strike. Turning, he saw the source of the weapon was, of course, Loki; nodding his thanks he raced back over to his father knowing the old king was in need of assistance.  
  
"Father, you need to return to the citadel, you are weakening too quickly. Do not worry, Loki and I have this handled." He needed to shout over the sounds of war but it reached his father's ears non-the-less.  
  
"You know? I am happier than I ever thought I would be to see you and your brother fighting alongside each other once again, you truly do make a whole." Odin smiled at Thor and he could not help but feel a warmth spreading through his stomach, one that he knew would help with the adrenaline of the war.  
  
"As am I. It is good to have him back." He pulled Hogun from a nearby scuffle. "Hogun, I need you to return my father to the citadel, make sure he gets there safely." The silent warrior nodded his understanding and drew his best weapons ready to fight through the crowds and do as his Prince asked.  
  
"Make sure you return safely my son..." Thor watched as Odin moved his gaze to find Loki, and a look of horror filled his face when he finally did. Finding the source of Odin's discomfort was like a dagger to his own heart and he internally screamed 'no'. In front of them, just in the mouth of the observatory, was a group of what must have been at least 10 Chitauri circling an individual, an individual, none the less, than Loki. He was staying strong, but Thor knew he was losing the battle, there were just too many of them, and not one single beast fell. Loki had no magic, it had be restricted from him when all of this had started, meaning all he had to fight with was his daggers- and not an infinite supply as he would usually have with his full powers. No thoughts spared, he flew across the Bifrost, landing next to his brother, going straight into battle.  
  
"Are you hurt?" He shouted over his shoulder as he smashed two Chitauri into each other.  
  
"No." Came the tired and strained voice, followed by a hiss as one of the enemies staff's cut a slash on Loki's cheek.  
  
Thor saw red, quite literally. He had had enough, this was going on for too long and the fun had left long long ago, and so, just as a child would lose its temper when not getting what it wants (a sarcastic remark Loki always used to compare Thor to) he lashed out, hitting and crushing everything Mjolnir came into contact with. It seemed like just a few short minutes before the last one was 'killed' and the two princes were finally free to breath.  
  
"I will not say 'child's temper tantrum' but...well," Loki grinned at him, blood stained teeth not quite white anymore, "...temper temper Thor." In response the elder fondly shoved the younger, a huge smile threatening to crack the face.  
  
"We must not stop, they will be returning soon." Thor turned to check his father was safe, it was important they get him out of the way as well as making their way to Heimdall to open a rip. He locked gazes with his father who nodded a silent ' _go on'_ confirming he was ok. The rest happened all so suddenly that Thor would never know how it occurred. A pain in his right side was the first thing he noticed, not one of a dagger or weapon, but of a collision, as if Mjolnir had barreled into him somehow. He was thrown off his feet, only aware of the wind blowing in all directions and the screeches of men. It was the destruction of the Bifrost all over again, though this time there was no shattering of the bridge, just a gigantic fireball, exploding in all directions and burning men to ashes where they stood. He heard the cry of Loki and the worried yell of Odin as well as his warriors and Sif; _please let none of them have been harmed_ , he thought. Without knowing how, he next realised he was holding on for dear life to the side of the rainbow bridge, his fingers stretched and clawing for a hold. Reaching up he managed to get a perch with his elbows, keeping himself firm and safe from falling for the time being. Odin's form filled his view as he saw him running over, as well as that of the Warriors 3 and Lady Sif, but Loki was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"No. I do not want to go back, please....please no." The fear, anxiety and panic was evident in the words, the voice was laced with terror and Thor did not even need to see the face of his brother to know tears would be streaming down his cheeks. Tentatively he turned his head to find Loki holding on, just as he was, to the side of the bridge, a near copy of himself over 3 years ago- though this time, it was no magical projection. The younger Odinson was deathly pale, with red eyes full to the brim with tears. He knew Loki was not weak, and most definitely proud, making him realise just how bad a situation he was in. Loki had fallen before, and when he had returned he was a monster, a monster created by torture, pain and misery, and it was clear to even the most thick minded of people, that he did not want to fall again. "Not back there....not back there....." Loki chanted like a mantra over and over again, growing more emotional each time.  
  
"Loki, I need you to listen to me..." Thor shouted as calmly as he could (you know, it is damn near impossible to be calm when you're shouting), "...You need to get your elbows onto the bridge, just as I have, then you will have more grip. Can you do that for me?" As he observed, the tips of Loki's fingers were white as they gripped onto the edge and kept slipping from the sweat and blood caked on them. Loki nodded his affirmation and began to pull himself up, only to slip on a pool of blood from an Aesir who had landed bloody and burnt by the side of him. The incident happened all too quickly, Loki's body slammed into the bridge as his arms gave way beneath him before he slipped off and fell, only to catch onto Thor's ankle, holding on with all the strength he had left. Thor lost a bit of his grip but he managed to catch himself- along with the help of Fandral who had jumped forward to latch onto his shoulders for added leverage.  
  
"No. I won't go back. I can't. I can't do it again. Please...please....Thor please don't let me go back there." Thor looked down at his brother, catching his eyes, full of tears, it was an all too familiar site, his brother dangling from the Bifrost, begging. _"Brother please."_  
  
Those words, the words the trickster god had begged right before he tricked him, right before he stabbed him...right before he last fell. Back then, they had been spoken with no real feeling, only pretense and lies, just what Loki was, but now, now they were true, and real, and oh so full of every emotion not openly shared between the brothers. Fandral, along with Volstagg and Hogun were working on pulling the pair up, but it proved hard work even for them. His heart was beating so hard he felt as if nothing else were real, the rest of his body was numb and only the grip on his ankle, the pain in his shoulders and the drum of his heart were noticeable. And that is why he did not feel the slipping of his boot, the feeling as it loosened its hold on his leg, exposing his calf, and finally, sliding over his foot, to fall completely off his being, his brother along with it.  
  
He screamed as the warriors 3 pulled him safely onto the Bifrost, shouting Loki's name. It took him only seconds to make a decision, not caring for anything other than Loki, his brother. Making sure he was no longer in the hands of his warriors, he stood up, looking to his Father with an apologetic gaze, who figured out just seconds too late what he planned to do. "Grab him!" Odin shouted to the trio, but it was too late, Thor had jumped.


	15. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the smaller part 2 of the chapter posted yesterday, I just wanted to be mean and leave a bit of a cliffhanger. *evil laugh* So just a short chapter today and hopefully I can post again sometime at the end of this week. But anyway, thanks again for all reviews. For the purpose of this story, the void under the Bifrost doesn't always lead to wherever Loki landed last time *hint hint* (just thought I'd put that in there in case anyone questioned why).
> 
> As always, no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel.
> 
> Hope you all have a Merry Christmas/Holiday time if you celebrate it. I'll see you after Christmas.

Thor angled himself so he was more streamline, the stars streaming past him as he dropped. He had never taken his eyes off the form of his brother and was now gaining speed to move closer towards him. He could see, now that he was closer, that Loki's eyes were shut and his face was devoid of any emotion; it was not that he was unconscious, but because he had given up and accepted his fate. Subconsciously, Thor summoned Mjolnir, hoping that once he had caught his brother, he would be able to fly them back up to Asgard, though a small part of his mind also told him he was expecting to use it once they had landed in the desolate wasteland that had turned Loki into that monster- this part he tried to ignore as best he could.

Quicker than he expected, his arms looped around his brother's waist and he connected his fingers to make sure he would go nowhere. Loki tried to push him off, tried to scream and wriggle his way free, that was at least until he opened his eyes to find Thor was the one who had a hold of him. He tried his best to smile at the younger Prince, a reassuring one if possible, but it did not exactly happen as planned. Nevertheless Loki surged forward and gripped him, his face pressed onto his chest and his thin yet powerful arms locked around his neck. Whether it was the velocity of the fall or the petrified crying of his brother, but Thor could feel the trembling of the body in his arms, at how it shook worse than an earthquake, yet it only encouraged him more to hold on and hope they would make it out alive- though if the same fate were waiting for them than what had greeted Loki the first time, maybe it was better they did not make it out alive. Finally, Mjolnir flew into view and he reached out to her, hoping beyond anything she would reverse her trajectory and fly back the way she came, but he was sorely disappointed as they continued to fall into the ever increasing blackness.

After so long, he closed his eyes and tightened his grip on his brother, there was nothing else to do and watching the space enveloping them was making him feel things he had never felt before. He could feel Loki's breath on his neck, warming him as the cold air bit at his exposed skin, as well as something else he deduced to be his brother's tears, splashing down onto his shoulder and back. The fall was endless; was it like this for Loki last time? He tried his best not to think of what happened to his brother before, knowing full well what kind of state he had been in as a result of it all, it just made him feel sick and want to hurt whoever was responsible- but then again, did that include Loki himself? _To some degree_ , he thought, _yes_.

Momentarily opening his eyes he saw land, and what a speed it was coming at them at! Though he was not clever and knew very little of the realms outside the main 9, he had assumed the wasteland would be dark and grey-especially after what Loki himself had said- yet this heading towards them (or should that be what they were heading towards) was yellow, orange and almost welcoming. Having no more time to think, he closed his eyes, drew himself closer to Loki and prepared for impact, trying to turn himself to make sure he suffered most of the damage.

Sure enough, within seconds his left side crashed into the hard ground and the wind was knocked out of him; he heard cracking, but did not know what had made the sound. Slowly he opened his eyes and released the hold he had of the treasure in his arms, allowing Loki to gently roll away. As he laid on his back, he looked up to blue skies dotted with crisp, fluffy white clouds, definitely not the sky he was expecting. As he turned to find Loki he noticed the questioning and health checks would have to wait, as they were completely and inexplicably surrounded...by Chitauri.


	16. Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, I hope you all had happy holidays if you celebrate them. Here is just a quick chapter until I get back into routine again next week (it is all written it's just finding time to re-read and edit it all), so longer chapters will resume next week.
> 
> So hope you enjoy and the usual no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel, I own nothing.
> 
> And let's welcome some new (yet familiar) characters..... :)

" _Sir, Mr Rogers is calling for you, it seems your com is not working correctly._ " JARVIS' voice was like a balm with the activity going off around him, a whisp of flowers in an otherwise dreary place.  
  
"Thanks Jarv, where is he?" He said, already revving up the thrusters.  
  
" _In the tower Sir, as are the rest of the team. Top floor._ " At that, Tony flew off in the direction of his tower, hoping the sudden swarm of Chitauri had fucked off.  
  
"They came from nowhere, and then left just as quickly, I mean what the hell?" Fury's gruff voice was the first thing to greet him upon arrival, _oh great_ , just what he needed. "Stark, there you are, you get rid of them all?"  
  
"Yeah, well, sort of, they sort of ran, I downed a few but not many." He was already at his newly developed bar, treating himself to a glass of whiskey.   
  
"Do you always have to drink?" Steve's voice judged from afar.  
  
"Do you always have to moan?" In truth, he knew Steve very rarely spoke out, but he also knew Tony's drinking habits were one thing he just could not overlook, it actually sort of warmed his heart (or should that be Arc Reactor) to see someone caring about his well-being.  
  
"I wouldn't drink up too soon Stark, there has been an increase of activity just up state at Pelham Bay."  
  
Tony openly moaned. "What the whole city?"  
  
"No Stark, I mean the actual bay." Fury flicked on a map which JARVIS so helpfully placed a pin upon to show exactly where he meant.  
  
"Well kids, looks like we're off to the beach." He rubbed his hands and began to walk off towards the landing pad. "Oh and remember to bring your trunks."  
  
The rest of the Avengers followed him, leaving Fury to no doubt grumble at how he isn't being paid enough to put up with Stark and his sass. Although he didn't need to board the quinjet, he usually travelled up to the pad to listen to the debrief and plan, and maybe just to add an extra few minutes of pissing them all off.  
  
"...we'll meet you there then Stark, and remember, if you get there before us, don't go in all guns blazing, leave us some of the action." Clint finished after finalizing the plan with Steve and Natasha. Tony actually managed to hold back a response and instead opted for a cheeky grin before nodding and taking off into the sky.

* * *

**I just want to add, in this chapter (and the next few) I base it around an area in USA which, being as I'm British, meant research. I wanted a sandy area but in NY, which I soon realised was hard to come by (silly me) so I had to search google maps for quite a while. I apologise if the area discussed is wrong or out of place I just needed an area- if any of that makes sense.**


	17. Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I'm back to normal routine and (hopefully) normal length chapters now, woohoo. Thanks as usual to reviewers :D  
> I would also like to add (I always seem to be adding excuses or footnotes) that I'm not brilliant at fight scenes/battles, but I am trying, so, sorry if you think they're a little on the weak side.  
> As usual, no beta so all mistakes my own (but don't shy away from pointing any out for me, it helps loads) and all rights to Marvel.  
> More Avengers now though! Sassy Tony, as usual. See you Wednesday.

The engines of the quinjet could be heard shutting off a few short metres from where Tony had plonked himself on the grass, thankfully the craft was quicker than usual transport and it had not taken the team long to fly to their location. As much as he had wanted to see what was happening, he thought it best to wait for the guys, especially as they only knew of 'increased activity' and not much more than that, _I mean_ , he thought, _it could be the bag of cats younger Odinson returned for round 2 for all they knew_ , and been as there were no windows around, he didn't want to even contemplate where the god would throw him this time.   
  
"Built any sandcastles yet?" Bruce joked as he walked closer, Tony really had grown to like the smaller man in the last few months, their bond could probably be described as the closest of the whole group- besides, of course, Natasha and Clint.   
  
"No, but I'm contemplating golf." He gestured to the signs leading tourists and locals to the nearby golf course.   
  
"Nah, I wouldn't bother, not nearly as calming as they try to tell ya, believe me, I'd know." He laughed again and Tony shook his smiling head at the younger man.   
  
"Ready?" Steve ambled up to the group, fumbling with an armful of things.  
  
"What ya got there Cap? Your bucket and spade?" Tony stood up, absentmindedly wiping dirt and grass off the butt of his suit.  
  
"Clint's bow and Natasha's belt." The soldier ignored the jokes fired his way and handed the mentioned items to their owners as they walked up to them.  
  
"Well then, let's go have a look shall we?" Bruce broke the tension that had suddenly built.  
  
As the team walked down towards the beach they noticed a large group of Chitauri crowded, jeering and fighting at something the team could not yet see. Occasionally a Chitauri would go flying or drop down, with the rest of them walking over its corpse like a carpet, yet they still advanced on their targets. "So?" Tony questioned.  
  
"We attack, simple as." Steve readied his shield as he spoke. "Whatever or whoever they are attacking must need help, these Chitauri are known enemy. Even if we do not know who they are fighting it must be someone safer and more friendly than they are. Clint, any ideas?"  
  
"Yeah, I can fire an arrow straight into the heart of the crowd, blow em up." Tony noticed the archer was already notching an arrow.  
  
"What if whoever they are attacking gets caught up in the explosion too?" Natasha asked, silently playing with her guns.  
  
"I'll aim it away from the victims, it won't touch them....hopefully."   
  
"What do you say cap?" Tony chirped.  
  
"Do it. But _make sure_ it's away from their prey. If it's a citizen we'll be hung drawn and quartered."  
  
"I know you're old but we don't do that anymore Captain spangly pants." Tony shot, but fell short when he had every eye (bar Bruce's) burning holes in him.  
  
Clint fired the arrow to the back side of the group, and smiled when it lodged itself into the sand. All smiles faded, however, when one of the beasts saw the weapon, picked it up and chose to use it itself against their enemy. Walking towards the front of the group, the alien noticed the flashing light growing more rapid and seemed to latch on to the idea of the notion not being a good sign. Trying to throw it away, he _(it)_ was caught short and was no more when the arrow exploded in it's grip. The blast threw every Chitauri into the air, as well as some now exposed human looking figures. Tony scrunched his eyes to get a closer look at who else was flying through the air with the enemies, and in the short space of time he caught a glimpse of red, silver, black and green, as well as an object that looked suspiciously like a big old hammer, the type of thing you see in mythology.    
  
"Holy shit." Clint must have read his mind. "So we were right, Loki _is_ leading the bastards against Thor, yet again."  
  
"Well then, let's go give him some aid shall we, been as we helped blow him up." Tony advanced towards the beach, quickly followed by the team. As he grew closer he heard the familiar whir of the hammer and the clash of metal on metal. Astonishingly, most of the Chitauri were laid dead on the floor with only around 5 or 6 left fighting, so Tony figured the fight should be over pretty soon.  
  
Tony stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed something he had _not_ been expecting at all, and turning to his friends he saw they had also noticed the strange occurrence.  
  
Bruce was the only one to speak. "No way?"   
  
Loki was stood back to back with the thunder god, holding one arm awkwardly close to his chest and using the other to fire daggers at nearby Chitauri. Thor was also lashing out, using his spare arm to keep his brother close. The two were at the water's edge and Tony noticed (he was getting good at this observing thing) that Loki was dripping wet through yet Thor was bone dry; _the blow must have separated them and forced Loki into the nearby sea_ , he mused. It was a strange sight indeed, to find the two opposing men who had been at one another's throats not long ago now working as a team, and especially how Thor was protecting the younger one.  As they watched, Loki was grabbed by one of the Chitauri, swinging him around into the arms of a second, the beast held onto him as his 'friend' began to beat the shit out of the god. It was not long before Thor noticed and Mjolnir went crushing into the skull of the first creature just as the second released it's grip on his victim, allowing Loki to twist on his heel and thrust an already bloodied dagger into the beats stomach. One more Chitauri remained, the bigger of the lot and it advanced on the pair, bearing its teeth and aiming its spear. It quickly shot towards Thor, planning on skewering him through the stomach, but Loki shoved him out of the way, grabbed the shaft of the spear, twisted, pulled the weapon around and over his shoulder, bringing the Chitauri with it- Tony did note, however, the pained expression on the god's face as he did so. The beast flew over Loki's head and landed on it's back on the ground,  to finally have the spear plunged into its gut and left there, almost like a strange bland Christmas tree. Tony stood, mouth open, almost amazed after having watched the display, of course he knew some of what the trickster god could do, but that was not expected.   
  
"Holy crap." Clint sounded just as surprised as Tony felt.  
  
"I know." Tony responded.   
  
"I think we best go down there." Bruce was stood on his tip toes to try and get a better look.  
  
"Come on then Brucey boy." Tony slapped his friend on the back and the two began to walk down to the beach.   
  
As he made his way down, he saw how Thor was focused completely on Loki, his hands on the younger god's shoulders and bent slightly to keep eye contact. It looked like he was talking to him, but he was most definitely not shouting, or even the slightest bit angry.  
  
Maybe they were wrong, after all, it did kind of look like Loki was being attacked just as much as Thor was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see you guys Wednesday but I'll say HAPPY NEW YEAR now in case any of you guys have January 1st before me (I'm particularly looking at you Aussies) and when you next hear from me I'll be another year older *shit*.
> 
> Take care. X


	18. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reviews, it is so nice to see people enjoying this, or at least wanting to know what happens. :) It is now 12:45pm on January 1st here in lil' old England, so HAPPY NEW YEAR and all the best for 2014, I hope it brings you all great things.
> 
> As always, no beta so all mistakes my own, and all rights to Marvel.

It didn't take long Thor to realise the crack he had heard upon landing was not of his own body, but Loki's. As the brothers fought off their attackers, he noted how Loki held his right hand to his chest, typically, he was right handed, so his dagger throwing was off slightly, making the fight a little less successful than it should have been. The explosion was a blessing of sorts as it forced the quickly advancing Chitauri off their backs, as well as reducing the amount they had to fight off.  
  
When the whole thing was over, he rushed to Loki, knowing that what he had just done would seriously aggravate his wound- doing what he did with a broken arm was no easy feat- not to mention they had just fallen from Asgard.   
  
Grabbing his brother's shoulders he made eye contact and forced his words to make Loki focus on them. "Loki, look at me. Are you hurt? Your arm? Have you broken it? Are you ok?"  
  
It took Loki a few seconds to focus properly, his eyes were as wide as saucers and darting all around them too, but when he did lock gazes with Thor, his eyes softened and a small smile graced his lips. "Just because we are no longer on Asgard does not mean you have to take on the role of mother." Thor laughed along with this. "I am fine. My arm is broken but it should only be a few hours before it is fixed. How about you? You took most of the impact."  
  
"It should not be as long as that?" Thor furrowed his brow when he thought back to all the broken bones of their past, and how it usually took only a short while to fix.  
  
"Magic Thor...I had my magic all those times before." The sadness in his brother's voice took the smile from Thor's face, it truly was like taking a piece of him away and was a cruel punishment indeed. Why had their father not returned it before the war? "And you did not answer my question."  
  
"Oh, I am fine thank you. Nothing I cannot handle." He smiled again and moved some wet hair from Loki's face to behind his ear.   
  
"Why did you follow me?" Loki looked up at him with sad eyes.  
  
"I saw the fear in your eyes, and I could not bear to think of you in that place again, alone. Though I must say, this is not quite what I was expecting." He looked around, noticing the lush grass, the soft sand and the wondrous sky and sea. As his gaze wandered, he caught sight of something in his peripheral vision, the shapes of bodies and he wasted no time in using his body as a shield for Loki and raising Mjolnir ready to strike.  
  
"Woah big guy. No threat." He couldn't believe it, there, in front of him, stood Tony Stark in full Iron Man suit, closely flanked by Bruce Banner.   
Lowering Mjolnir he walked towards them, an enormous smile on his face. "Friends!" Encasing Tony in a hug, he heard the metal creak and groan beneath his pressure and what may have been the smaller man gasping for air.  
  
"Erm, I know I'm not _that_ kind of doctor but I think Tony needs to breath now Thor." Bruce's small voice came from his left but it had a hint of humour to it.  
  
"Oh of course. I apologize, sometimes I forget you are not my Aesir warriors." He let go of his Iron friend and instead chose to slap him on the back, which ended up not being the best course of action either, for the man had to use his thrusters to keep from falling face first into the sand.   
  
"I hate to point to the elephant in the room big guy, but why is crazy ass baby bro here?" Tony pointed behind Thor. By now, the rest of the team had joined the group and he could see they were less than happy to see Loki, with Clint and Natasha already aiming their weapons.  
  
"He is no threat, I promise you that. Now please, lower your weapons." Clint never moved his bow, but Natasha did lower her gun so it was now pointing to the sand at Loki's feet rather than _at_ his brother. Knowing that was the best he was going to get he moved towards Loki, placing a comforting hand on the small of his back and pushing him gently towards the group. "Do not panic, but stay close beside me."  
  
"I am not panicking, I just want to get back to Asgard, we have no idea if the Chitauri are still there." Loki hissed.  
  
"I remember seeing that most of them were down before we fell, and they looked beyond resurrection." They were stood a few metres from the Avengers when Thor turned back to face them. "Friends, Loki no longer intends on destroying Midgard, his actions...he regrets them."  
  
"Sorry but I don't believe a word of it." Clint pulled his bow tighter, ready to release any second.   
  
"Guys, I think we best sort any issues out later, we may be needed elsewhere." Steve's strong voice was a balm to Thor, a distraction they really needed.  He could tell the soldier was not ignoring the fact Loki was there, or letting him off for his past actions, but when it came to the safety of those around him, the good man knew when to get his priorities straight.   
  
"Oh no, there is no way I am going anywhere with _him_."  
  
"Clint!" Bruce stepped forward. "I know none of us are happy with this, but if the Chitauri are back, and if they are attacking Loki and Thor, then it is in our nature, and duty, to bring them with us, to keep them safe, and as a result help protect Midgard...erm, I mean earth."  
  
"Thank you Bruce." Thor placed a hand (gently this time) on his friend's shoulder and squeezed slightly. "I know you are all unhappy with my brother being here, but the sooner we sort out this situation, the sooner we can get back to Asgard. I cannot explain my brother's actions, for I do not know the entirety of it myself, but I can promise he will not harm you or anyone else. Asgard was attacked, Loki and I were fighting, protecting our people just as you do here on Midgard, when we fell, landing here, though I know not how or why."  
  
"Well then." Tony clapped his hands together and rubbed, creating the notion he was ready. "Oh and big guy? Why do you only have one boot?"

He looked down, only just remembering Loki had pulled it off in his fall. Laughing, he replied, "A long story my friend." Tony just shrugged and walked away, Thor followed him precariously as he returned to the quinjet, with Loki following even more anxiously. He knew these people should not just accept Loki as easily as they did, and it made him worry they had further plans or that they were leading him straight into the hands of Fury, but Thor had always had faith and trust in his friends, he could only hope now was a time to believe that trust.  
  
Slowly but surely, the team all boarded the jet (including Tony) and set off back to whatever lied ahead.  
  
"Oh..." Loki whispered. "Here's your boot." Smiling, Thor took the item out of his brothers hand and replaced it on his foot, it was cold from the fall, but he didn't care.


	19. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as ever for reviews, I really enjoy reading them. Here is, as promised, a longer chapter.
> 
> As usual, no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel, I own nothing. :) Take care. x

Loki was sat at the back of the jet, turned on the seat so his shoulder was where his back should be, facing away from the rest of the team. Thor could not help but never take his eyes off him and he wanted so much to be sat right beside him the whole time, but instead he had to sit and explain what had transpired in Asgard, everything about Loki and how Thor knew it was not some massive trick and that he actually wanted him dead again. Some of the questions he was ashamed to say he did not have the answers for- in truth he did not know it wasn't a trick, there was no clue or evidence, he just _knew_ , on instinct, from years of growing up with Loki by his side. After what seemed a lot of awkward silences and eye rolling Thor found himself listening to the Man of Iron talk about what 'crazy shit' had happened in the last 5 hours.  
  
"...So yeah, basically they showed up just after dinner and decided to attack a few blocks near the tower, then they shazzamed their way out and must have found you. We picked up your activity and were with you within the hour. They disappeared as quickly as they came really."  
  
Thor suddenly sat up straighter when he saw Loki trembling slightly, he was listening to his friends, but he and his brother had been through a lot in the last few hours too and he just wanted to continue the bonding they had managed to recover from before. In a swift movement he found a blanket hidden in the medicine bay and walked over to where Loki sat. Instead of scaring him from appearing from behind, Thor gave his brother a wide birth and walked up to him from the front, so the black haired god saw him coming. As he sat in the seat in front (or should that be next to) Loki, he draped the blanket over his still wet form.   
  
"Jotun remember, I do not feel the cold." Loki never took his eyes away from the spot on the floor and his lips and jaw barely moved when he spoke.  
  
"I know, but you were shaking."  
  
"Adrenaline. Come on, I'm pretty sure there is as much of it flowing through your veins as there is ale." A small smile followed the slight goading.  
  
"I think you are confusing me with Volstagg." Thor chuckled back. He looked past Loki to his friends who were all watching the scene with mixed faces of horror, confusion, anger and actually a little pity (not much surprise this was from Steve and Bruce). "Please stop staring at my brother like that, it is making both he and I very uncomfortable."  
  
"Yeah, well sorry to point out the obvious but he _did_ try and kill us all, as well as destroying half of the city. Forgive me for being a little on edge with him so close." Of course Thor knew of the hostility that would be present, especially with Clint, but he had hoped they would have seen from the brothers' interactions that all was well and that they too could trust Loki.  
  
"I can promise I mean you no harm. Just as you want, I wish for nothing more than to return to Asgard." Loki did not fully turn around, but he did twist his body slightly away from Thor and spoke over his shoulder to those who stood glaring nearly literal daggers into his back.   
  
"Why are you here?" Thor knew Natasha had been waiting to interrogate them for some time now, he could see it in her eyes.  
  
"Honestly...I do not know. I was meant to fall back into the hands of the Chitauri, but some cruel twist of fate brought my brother and I here." Some of the bitterness returned to Loki's voice that Thor remembered hearing on their last encounter on Midgard, and it made him think just what made the younger prince's mind tick.  
  
"Brother, it was not some cruel twist of fate, this is a much better outcome than what was originally waiting for us."   
  
"If you say so." Loki tried to make himself look indifferent to the situation, but Thor (for once) could see past the facade he put up, and saw how thankful Loki actually was to be on this realm rather than that of the Chitauri and _him_.  
  
"Well get ready kids, we're nearly home, and I am _not_ looking forward to daddy 'one eye' Fury."  
  
They all fell into silence as the jet landed and they made their way towards Tony's upper floor, funnily enough, the one Thor believes Loki to have thrown the man out of during their war. A few steps before entering, Thor noticed his brother was lagging behind and began to worry he was more injured than he admitted, but after a quick once over, he observed the panic on his face, not pain, realising Loki was _in fact_ nervous. Instead of letting him think he was coddling him, Thor just slowed his pace and placed his hand on the small of Loki's back as he walked past, letting him know he was there but keeping his distance.  
  
"Looks like the coast's clear..." Steve almost whispered once the brothers entered the floor.  
  
"Jarv? Fury's location?" Tony was comically tip toeing around in his suit looking for places the director could possibly be hiding.  
  
" _He had to leave Sir. I have just picked up a message he left on my intercom._ " The AI played the message back.  
  
 _"Team, the council have informed me of a meeting I can not attend here (these big wigs hate to think they're being listened in on), so I'll be back when it's over, and who fucking knows when that'll be...Don't wreck New York while I'm gone, or I'll get shot in the ass for it. In emergency, call Hill, or Coulson."_  
  
They all let out a sigh of relief, really, how nervous could one man make people? Thor knew why he was anxious of the man, and it mainly had to do with the fact he reminded him so much of Odin, especially the whole _eye_ situation.  
  
"Ok, not that I want to sound pushy, but how are you guys getting back to Asgard? And when?" Tony rubbed his hands together, a fresh atmosphere washing over all of them when the danger had passed.  
  
"Tony!" Bruce snapped. "Look, it's not that we don't want you here Thor but with Loki here too, we're a little on edge and like Clint said, as soon as Fury finds out, he's in big danger. As are we for not ringing it in."  
  
"Yes, thank you by the way for that, I am glad you saw sense not to." Thor nodded to his friends, particularly Clint and Natasha who had needed a little more convincing not to ring the situation in. "In all honestly I am hoping we can just call Heimdall and the Bifrost will do the rest, but I am not sure what damage was done to it and if he even knows where we are."  
  
"What do you need for that?" Steve inquired.  
  
"An open space preferably."  
  
"How big?"  
  
"Quite big, your landing pad would do fine."  
  
"Ohhh no! I saw Jane's pictures and what damage your magic does, no, no way are you damaging my pad." Tony walked towards Thor with a finger waggling in his face.  
  
"Tony, if it helps them leave then so be it." Natasha said.  
  
"Ok, so assume I say yes, we can't just have this thing touch down in the middle of the day, it'll cause mayhem and panic we haven't seen since...him." Thor turned to where Tony was pointing, not that he needed to, and there Loki stood, glaring daggers at them all, all traces of nerves gone, only to be replaced by the Loki that really should be hiding- the one the Avengers know very well.  
  
"What about a storm. I can create a storm to distract people." Thor offered.  
  
"Good idea, make it a hell of one though." Bruce walked towards the window and looked out. "It already looks sort of dark, but make it come slowly. If it appears too suddenly it'll alarm people anyway."  
  
In seconds, Thor heard the familiar sound of his thunder far off in the distance and could see the dark clouds and lightning come rolling in from the horizon. It took a few minutes for the rain to start and he could already see most people evacuating the streets, finding the sanctuary of coffee shops, homes and cinema's.  
  
"Do you want me to start trying to contact Heimdall?" Loki's voice came from his right side, it was not quite what Thor was used to of late, but it was also not quite as venomous as it had been before.  
  
"Yes please brother, but if you do get through, tell him to hold off until I give my word." Beside him Loki nodded and walked off to sit in the farthest corner of the window, legs crossed, hands on his knees and eyes closed, in complete silence. This was not necessary to contact the gatekeeper, though it did help, but he knew his brother needed some time to think and breathe, and so left him to it.  
  
"Is Loki ok?" Bruce's quiet voice broke the silence Thor had fallen into, the voice was caring and warmed his heart to think one of his Midgardian friends did not fully hate his brother.  
  
"He has been very stressed as of late, and the last few days especially have been harsh on him. He just needs a bit of time to himself." Thor's own voice was low and solemn, and he couldn't help but look to the floor in self pity as he explained his brother's situation.  
  
"I'll keep those guys away from him if I can then, I know what it's like to need quiet time."  
  
"Thank you. Tell me friend, why are you so calm around him?"  
  
"As much as I know evil resides within him and always will to some extent..." These words hurt Thor, but he too knew they were spoken in truth, "...I can relate, and I can also see the agony in his eyes. Not physical agony, but...Thor, he's broken, you know that right?"  
  
"Aye, I do." A small tear escaped his eye, thankfully it was the one facing away from Bruce.  
  
Bruce nodded again. "I'll leave you to the thunder stuff, besides I can see Tony eying Loki up so..." Thor smiled at his friend and watched as he walked off, already gesturing a _'no'_ to Tony.  
  
The storm was getting closer and the rain was so heavy and thick that he could barely see the building in front of him. The lightning flashed none stop and if anyone did see the Bifrost's energy, hopefully they would just pass it off as a trick due to the horrendous storm. He still did not know how or why they landed on Midgard, but he was more grateful than he had been in a long time, although he had jumped to save Loki, he had been worried that he would not be able to save him from the hands of Thanos. He was witness to the aftereffects of the titan, and he did not want to be witness to it first hand, it would have killed him inside.  
  
"He's waiting for us." Loki's sudden presence made Thor jump and when he turned he noticed his brother looked paler. "He said Asgard is under attack right now."  
  
"Chitauri?"  
  
"Yes and...The Other." Thor remembered his role in Loki's tales, he had been Thanos' right hand man and had been, on more than once occasion, Loki's primary torturer. "Thor are you ok?"  
  
Loki's concern was not often received, and so Thor stood for a further few seconds in silence getting over the shock. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, that no-one realizes how much you have had to go through, and mostly because of me. You have stayed strong for so long now, through everything, and yet you never seem to desire some time alone to recover."  
  
"I suppose it's just that I use fighting as a way to release my emotions, my anger helps me wield Mjolnir."  
  
"You have been a rock for me recently, even though I do not always want it. But I want you to know that if you need to talk or, get something out, I will listen." He smiled, a little bit of the cockiness returning. "I feel sick after saying that, I don't think I'll ever get used to this touchy feely business."  
  
Thor laughed and pointed an accusing yet friendly finger in his brother's face. "Watch it you, you still are not too old for me to pin you down and tickle to death."  
  
Loki let out a hearty laugh even Volstagg would be proud of, before turning and walking away. "I'd like to see you try. Remember Thor, I am not as little as I used to be."  
  
"No you are not." Thor affectionately, yet sadly, muttered under his breath, he was so very close to tackling him there and then, but decided it best wait. Instead he turned to his friends, "I believe it is time for us to depart, Loki has informed me Asgard is under attack once again and needs our help."  
  
"You need some back up?" Steve's offer startled Thor, he had not been expecting help. Whilst he was so very happy the man had chosen to volunteer the group as back-up it also was like a punch to the gut. The situation was dangerous, and taking Midgardians to Asgard was often highly frowned upon, if any of his friends got hurt up there he could never forgive himself. Not to mention how it would affect Loki. He knew his friends would not betray him, would not kill his brother, but what if they turned a blind eye? What if they saw Loki in the firing line but did not choose to help him and let him die? What if he did the same to them?  
  
"Any help would be much appreciated my friends. Loki, is that ok?" In the end he decided any help was a blessing, whoever it was from, though he was wary of his brother's reaction, knowing it would most likely anger the god more.  
  
"How stupid are you? Your friends...on Asgard? I just do not understand you sometimes, what goes on in that brain of yours......!" He could tell Loki wanted a full blown argument, to fight his way and rid himself of those damned Avengers, but the safety of their home was at stake. As Thor readied himself for his side of the argument, he saw his brother deflate, visibly calm himself and proceed in a more neutral tone. "I am not happy with it, but as you said, we need all the help we can get. Just make sure your friends know if they get killed, it is not our responsibility."  
  
"And if one of my arrows accidentally makes its way into your eye it was the fault of the Chitauri that moved as I shot it." Clint's sarcasm was enough to challenge even Loki's at that point.  
  
"You two, enough. Loki and I will be waiting for you on the landing pad. Please do not take too long." He began to walk out when Loki's voice drilled into him  
  
"So please explain why we have to stand out in the pouring rain and get wet through while we wait for these near invalids to prepare their sorry selves?"  
  
"Just come on Loki." The deep sign and melodramatic stomping of boots from behind him proved the younger prince was indeed following, albeit very reluctantly, and he couldn't help but smile at how it reminded him of all the temper tantrum's Loki used to have when they were children.  
  
No more than 10 minutes later, the assembled team were waiting on the pad under a protective cloud created by Thor, though he had let it 'accidentally' slip over Loki a few times, who now stood with a face as hard as stone, wet through (yet again), ready to pounce on anyone who rubbed him up the wrong way.  
  
"Are you ready?" The team nodded. "A few warnings; the first time you travel this way will make you feel a little uneven for a while, but not for long, there is no need to hold your breath or close your eyes or grab anyone for support, unless of course you want to. It merely feels like you're being pulled off your feet, only to be placed down gracefully a few seconds later. OK?"  
  
"Yep." Was the collective response.   
  
"Oh Jarv...when Mr cranky pants gets back, please let him know we're out saving the day in Asgard."   
  
" _Yes Sir._ "  
  
"But mention nothing of Loki, got it?"  
  
" _Yes Sir, of course._ "  
  
Thor nodded to his friends and Loki before looking to the sky, calling for the Gatekeeper. "HEIMDALL!"  
  
Nothing. He hoped Loki hadn't been up to his old ways again. _How could you think that, he is different now._  
  
"HEIMDALL!" Finally, after a few seconds, the bright light of the Bifrost's energy rained down on them and transported them back to Asgard.   
As Thor looked around him, he saw most of the team sprawled on the floor on their backsides, all apart from Natasha and Bruce who was trying his best to stop the beast from making an appearance; the mode of transport must have upset him.  
  
Loki laughed. "Graceful hey Thor?"  
  
Thor himself was about to respond when a huge crash shook the room and Heimdall's voice boomed from behind them. "You best make your way to the Great Hall my prince, Thanos has taken the building."  
  
"Thanos?" All traces of Loki's smile had gone, only to be replaced by fear. Thor placed a hand on his shoulder when he began to stumble and looked into his eyes.  
  
"Brother, do not run now. Do not go to that place again, we cannot afford it now." He knew Loki understood what he meant, if he blacked out or shut himself off again like he had before, he would be no good and would only serve to become a burden. If he was focusing on Loki's safety, he could get himself or anyone else killed.  
  
"I need to retrieve something, but I promise, with all my heart, I will be back." Loki lifted his hand to Thor's shoulder and clamped down, squeezing for extra effect. "I will meet you in the hall, I promise brother."  
  
Thor was not happy, but he needed to trust Loki. Heimdall's voice rose from behind him but he never took his eyes or hands off his brother, "The younger prince's magic has now been restored, use it wisely."  
  
Nodding, Thor finally let go of the black haired prince's shoulders, told him "Stay safe brother" and allowed Loki to run off, his long legs carrying him far and fast.  
  
"Follow me." He too ran off, slowly at first to allow the still adjusting Avengers to catch up, and then quicker than he had ever run before.  When he did allow a few seconds of thought, a lump formed in his throat at finally meeting this _Thanos_ , a small part of him was scared of the man, but the anger at what he had done over-rode all that fear, creating a force to be reckoned with within the Thunder God.


	20. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. :) Sorry for the gap I've been busy. Only a few chapters left now guys...oh no! :( Again, I've taken a few creative liberties with parts (clue: the tesseract), but isn't that what fanfiction is all about? Thank you, as always for reviews, they are always appreciated.
> 
> No beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel, I own nothing. Hope you enjoy. :)

He couldn't breath. Not here! Not now! Thanos couldn't be here. He stopped his running and grabbed for the nearest wall to steady himself, before letting his stomach empty itself all over the floor in front of him. Maybe he should have ended it all those weeks ago, when he'd been at his lowest, with nothing else to live for. But not now, he couldn't do it now. Now he had something to live for...his family, and Asgard.  
  
No. This was not him. He was not some pathetic sniveling little child who got scared of the monster under the bed, _you are the monster under the bed._ Thanos would be weaker, the longer he went without the power or the tesseract, the weaker he would become. It was his power source, and he needed a refill, and fast, even when Loki had been under his power, the titan's strength had been weaning.  
  
Slowly, Loki looked around him to make sure no other Asgardian was watching, that none of those annoying Avengers saw his cowering turn into his once regal stature, the tears slowly ebbing away to reveal his teeth bared into a malicious grin, once again like the Loki that had attacked and invaded Midgard.   
  
He had his magic back and, best of all, he had a plan....a plan that would make Thanos accept him back as his own, one that would get him out of this pathetic realm and away from that idiotic oaf he pretended to call a brother. Oh what fun he had had playing the victim, playing that poor sweet innocent Loki, who wanted hugs off his mummy. But that was over now. Now, he had to rearrange his plans a little.  
  
Walking into the weapons vault he picked up exactly what he needed and began to make his way back to the main hall, where he knew his future was waiting for him.  
  
XX  
  
Striding into the hall the first thing he noticed was how little fighting there was going on. Most of Asgard's soldiers were lying face down on the floor, though he knew they were not dead, just in a deep sleep spell provided by The Other. His own family, and the Avengers, were knelt down close to the gold steps leading up to Odin's throne, upon which a very smug Thanos was sat. Swallowing past his fears he strutted down the long room, past his family and knelt on one knee around half way up the steps.  
  
"My lord. How glad I am to finally see you. I thought I would have to play invalid for another few months." He put on every single tone of bitterness, sarcasm and poison he could find.  
  
"Loki. I thought you had run. You do know you are no longer my puppet, do you not?" Thanos' voice sent shivers up Loki's spine, but he hid the fear and continued.  
  
Raising his eyebrows, he grinned. "Of course I do, but I realised that I was at my best under your rule, so though I no longer have to do as you tell me, I return. I must also point out my Lord, that it was the fault of your allies' Chitauri, not my own, that granted our loss on Midgard."   
  
"Aye, that is true, those creatures did little else other than destroy things." He spat at The Other who released what could only be described as a growl.   
  
The creature slowly made his way down the steps to where Loki stood. " _My_ Chitauri? You blame me and my warriors when it was your childish behaviour that lost us this war."  
  
"Childish? Hardly." Loki couldn't help but remember every other time The Other had been this close to him, the times before his attempt on Midgard. Visions flashed behind his temporarily closed eyelids: _burning, screaming, agony, laughter, both his mad and the evil of the creature scarring his body. Whipping, poisoning, beating, choking on his own blood and vomit._  
  
"Are you ok little Prince? You seem to be fighting some sort of demon?" The question was most definitely not one of concern, unless you described it as sarcastic, mocking concern. Loki opened his eyes, _when did I close them?_  
  
"Oh fine, fine." He waved his hand, all trace of unease gone, to be replaced once more with his bravado exterior. "Just merely trying to hold back the vomit your foul odor is causing. You do know what bathing is right?"  
  
The Other produced a dagger out of thin air, twisting it so the blade was within his hand. Before the butt of the weapon collided with Loki's head, he flinched, knowing what pain would come, even with such a petty action. _Magic._ There was magic coursing its way through The Other and his weapons, ready to tear its way through any victim. Yes, the collision with Loki's head would cause a headache, and bleeding, and possible blacking out depending on how hard the impact, but through just the merest of touches, a thousand vaults would fly through the handle, into Loki and around him, causing pain, spasms and temporary cut off of his own magic- and that was something he most definitely did not want right now.  
  
"Oh....did you see that Thanos? He flinched. It seems our little toy has reverted back to his old ways. All our hard work wasted away. Well, that will never do." This time, the creature was too quick for Loki, his un-natural hand curled around Loki's thinning wrists, immediately causing pain. He didn't want to show pain, not here, not now, not in front of everyone. If he showed weakness, Thanos would suspect, if he showed defeat, The Other would cause more pain, but if he showed pain itself, his mother, brother and _possibly_ father, would worry. Instead he stood firm, not showing any signs of discomfort in the eyes of his many enemies. As the grip tightened, the pain flared anew every second, sending shockwaves around his body. He could tell his nose was bleeding from the stress on his body, and could begin to feel himself shaking...just as he was about to open his mouth to scream, Thanos ordered, _"Enough."_  
  
The Other let go and flowed back over to the side of his ally (though Loki couldn't help but think that Thanos was _his_ master too.) Loki straightened himself, wiped the blood from his nose and lip and slowly took the step up, bowing to his lord. "Pardon the disruption my lord, it seems your little _friend_ wishes me to forget our alliance. He does know that any misunderstanding and I abandon our pact, does he not? Though, I would choose not to leave at this crucial time, and besides, I have something you may enjoy."  
  
Thanos smiled, though Loki deducted he was smiling at his own thought of not letting Loki go anywhere had he decided to leave. "Abandon? Would you dare?" The smile and cock of the head horrified Loki, it was one of a silent threat, a silent promise that he would not make it out of the hall alive had he decided to leave. Slowly, Thanos calmed, and returned to his sombre state. "I _do_ apologize for this imbecile's actions, he sometimes thinks he has the upper hand. So what do you have little prince?"  
  
Loki put on his most charming smile and brought out the Tesseract from under his cape. "A little gift, nothing big. Odin assumed I had no idea where he had hidden it. How wrong he was." To add effect, he threw a grin over his shoulder, only to be met by the glaring faces of the Midgardians and his family.  
  
"I told you." Was all Clint said. The rest remained silent, in complete shock, all apart from Frigga and Thor, who both of which wore disappointed looks on their faces and tears threatened to spill from their eyes as the latter growled and the former whispered _"No Loki"_.  
  
"Then give it to me." Thanos had risen from his seat and was towering over Loki.  
  
"First I want something in return."  
  
"Name it."  
  
"My freedom. And some of the tesseract's power." He best not ask for too much, Thanos would kill him too before moving on to everyone else.  
  
"How about...we have a little fun first." He nodded to The Other, who raced forward to grab his mother by the hair. Showing no mercy, he dragged her to the space between the God and the Titan, smiling a very vicious smile indeed. "You only accepted my instructions when I threatened your family. If my techniques have truly worked on you, my next actions will not bother you, alas, if they did not, or have since worn off, every deal is forgotten. I kill you, your family and your friends, and I take the tesseract, rule Asgard, Midgard and every. REALM. I SEE FIT!" The Titan's voice rose so much, Loki could feel the air ruffle his hair as it flew past.  
  
He didn't say anything, only swallowed back the doubt and kept the mask he had formed on his face. Thanos slowly walked down to Frigga and backhanded her, hard, across the face. She was true to herself and made no sound or show of being in discomfort, just as she always had been, Frigga, the steadfast Queen of Asgard. Slowly, the attacks got harder, until Thanos grew bored and returned to his spot a few steps up from his prey, allowing The Other to pick her up by the collar of her dress and turned her so she was facing Loki.  
  
 _NO._ The creature placed his hand on her cheek which was already beginning to glow a sickly purple colour, not dissimilar to that of Thanos' skin. In seconds, Frigga started screaming, tears escaping her eyes and her body trembling. It was the same infliction he had dealt with only minutes before, but for countless days in his last time with the monsters. Loki watched, knowing shockwaves were being sent around Frigga's body, particularly her heart and head, causing pain beyond measure. He couldn't take it any longer, it was the stuff of his nightmares and everything he had been dreading.   
  
"NO!" He screamed and threw himself on his knees in front of The Other, who had now let go of his mother's face but still stood with her in his arms. "Please. No more."  
  
"Ahh, I see your family have got to you again, who was it that undid all my work?" The Titan looked towards his family and Thor's friends, raising his hand and pointing to Loki as he now spoke directly to them. "You do know it took me several years to break this one and mould him into my own puppet?"  
  
Loki heard some of the Avengers draw in a breath of horror that their enemy may not have been in his right mind. Sure, Loki was not at all a 'good guy', he never would be, but deep down he was not exactly a psychotic menace they thought him to be- well, at least not all the time, only when he felt like it.  
  
"Please, let her go, let them all go. You have me, you have the tesseract, that's all you need. I will be yours forever more, you can command me at will, you can throw me in a cell and torture me for as long as you wish, but please, no more of this."  
  
Thanos laughed, and this time Loki could not stop the shiver as the memories came flooding back. His mother was thrown down the stairs and only came to a stop when Thor grabbed her; though she looked unharmed, Loki could see she soon needed rest. Energy Loki was very familiar with began to buzz in the air and he quickly used what little magic he had left to hide the tesseract from sight. A wave of magic and energy spread out, taking Loki with it. He flew into the bodies of the Avengers and his brother, who threw himself over his smaller frame to protect him from flying furniture and debris from nearby statues.   
  
"There is no need to stand guard, they aren't leaving this room." Thanos called out to the Chitauri stood around the small group. Loki rolled over from his front as his back protested from the collision it had just made, only to be faced with Thor's confused- slightly angry, slightly upset, slightly worried- look.  
  
"You tricked him? Or us?"  
  
He tried to laugh, but he was too tired to. "Do not fret, I was tricking him. I hoped to somehow send him away...ahhh...in all honesty I hadn't thought it through. I just panicked."  
  
"So you mean us no harm?"  
  
"Of course not you big oaf. Now get off me." He pushed his brother's form off him and sat up. "Mother are you ok? I am so sorry."  
  
He crawled to his mother's side, who was now lying in Odin's arms, and held her hand. "I am, Loki. This was not your fault."  
  
"It was. All of this is."  
  
"What do we do?" Steve's asked from behind him. As they began to talk, he looked up to Thanos, noticing how the Titan was too engrossed in his business to hear them talking, though he kept his voice down anyway.  
  
"We have to weaken him somehow. I know him, if he is too weak he will retreat, that will at least buy us some time."  
  
"No. You know how to end all of this here and now, I can see it in your eyes. How do we do it sweetheart?" Frigga stroked his cheek as he thought.  
  
Pausing, and gaining confidence to say what he had to say, he fidgeted until ready. "We have to destroy the tesseract. It is his power source and exactly what he runs on. If it is no-more, then he is no-more. He will slowly lose strength and we can kill him the same way we kill any enemy."  
  
"But the tesseract is an important weapon." Thor whispered.  
  
"Thor, think it through son, we lived thousands of years without it. Yes, it could truly be useful should we need it, but it will only continue to cause more harm than good. It is better off destroyed." Odin, for once, brought a smile to Loki's face, and not one of mischief or anger, but one of support and, almost, loving.   
  
"But I already tried." Thor's entire form deflated when he admitted that fact.  
  
"What?" Loki asked.  
  
"When we returned and after your dreams were causing such mayhem, I tried to destroy it, in the hope it would end your suffering, but anything I tried backfired. It cannot be destroyed."  
  
"Then let's try it, together." Thor grinned at Loki when he saw the twisted smile forming. "The energy inside the tesseract is largely air and water, we freeze it, and it becomes vulnerable. Then, you smash it. Nice and easy for your little brain to wrap around, is it not?"  
  
"Shut up you." Thor gave him an affectionate shove. "So how do you plan on freezing it?"   
  
As soon as the words left his brother's mouth, he could see the thunderer tense up, realising what he had just said and what it all meant. Just as he was about to apologize, Loki interrupted. "No need to apologize. But yes... _I_ intend to freeze it."  
  
Loki stood up and produced the tesseract once more. "Thanos, here, have it...." He placed it gently on the floor a distance from the Titan and began backing away, along with the small group of Aesir and Humans. When they were a fare distance away he summoned the Casket of Ancient Winters, knowing that it was the easiest way to trigger his true form. Seconds later, he felt the blue flowing up his arms like water, he could feel his body temperature plunge dramatically and his eyes hurt as they changed to red.   
  
Thanos panicked when he realised what Loki planned to do, he knew of his heritage, afterall, he had used it against him many times. "NO! What are you doing? I order you to stop!"  
  
Loki forced the energy towards the weapon where it began to freeze on contact. The blue began to slow its rotation in the small box and as it did so, the sides bulged out with the added capacity within. Maybe he didn't even need Thor, maybe it would shatter all on its own, what with no more space to expand other than outwards. But alas, the movement stopped and Loki knew he could do no more and so he instead sent a flow of ice towards the tesseract, forcing it up into the air and towards his brother. He knew Thanos would be upon them quickly and so used his quick wit to figure out how to develop very sharp ice stalagmites that shot up out of the ground just in front of the Titan and his dogs. That at least would hold them for a little while. The Other was more clever, and quick, though, as he skirted around the frozen wall to come racing toward the now blue trickster. Loki didn't have time for a fight, he didn't have strength to be tortured all over again, and so without knowing how he produced a 3 metre blade, made purely of ice, from his hand, shooting it straight out to the approaching enemy. For once The Other's speed worked against him, as he could not slow his progress down quick enough to avoid being impaled. With a blood curdling squelch, the frozen weapon sliced its way through the beast's chest, puncturing his lung, before entering (and exiting) his heart. Only seconds later, The Other, his primary torturer, the one who had made him scream more than he could ever had imagined, was dead. A small part of him wished it could have been longer, that he could have given him just a small taste of what pain he had been in, but right now, there were far more important things to complete.  
  
Spinning on his heel, he saw as the tesseract landed just in front of Thor's feet. "Now Thor! Smash it!"  
  
Thor didn't move. He didn't even acknowledge the fact the tesseract had landed in front of him. Loki was about to ask what in all of Vaneheim he was doing until he realised....and oh how he realised. Thor was staring in horror at _him_. The look on his face was a sword to the gut, it held fear, anger, upset but most of all, the look that was like the sword being twisted in his stomach, was disgust. Thor was disgusted at what he saw. The casket dropped into one hand, which then fell to his side as the weight of what he held dawned on him. Thor, his brother, the one who had said would love him no matter what, was horrified at Loki's true form.  
  
"Aww, look at that, the prince, _your brother_ , is disgusted at what he sees. He sees a monster needing to be killed, do you see that, the grip tightening on his hammer, readying an attack. I told you Loki, you are much better off without them, better off with me. I do not hate you, I could never hate you because of what you are. You cannot help it that your supposed Father stole you and tricked you your entire life. Me? I would never have done that. I'd have stolen you, yes, but you would have known the truth from the beginning." Thanos' voice laced its way into Loki's mind, planting itself firmly and already mixing with his emotions, just as he had managed to do before, when the two were last together, preparing for the invasion of Midgard.  
  
He could not let Thanos get inside him, not again. As soon as he gets in it is damn near impossible to get him out, he is manipulative beyond even Loki's measure and knows just how to get what he wants. No wonder Loki was so drawn to him, he was an improved version of himself.  
  
"Together, we can be great."  
  
"No." Loki says flatly. "Together, Thor and I can be great."  
  
"Fool, can you not see he hates you."  
  
"Maybe, but he hates you more....BROTHER, NOW!" Loki screamed the command as loud as he could, and it did not escape him that his voice broke whilst doing so with the amount of emotion running through him.  
  
Thankfully, the one word that holds such a place between the pair kicks in. _'Brother'_ soon snaps Thor out of any inward thinking he had gotten himself in and he lifts Mjolnir high into the air, before bringing her down straight on top of the tesseract. The menace shatters into a million pieces, scattering everywhere, even embedding into people's skin and clothes. Mere seconds later, Thanos begins to scream...  
  
...and so does Loki.


	21. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Thank you so much for reviews, there have been things you've written that have made me go back and realise (oops) I hadn't mentioned or brought up- plonker. So thank you, not just for helping me write better/more, but for giving me hints that maybe my fics aren't as bad as I think. Sadly we are nearing the end, there is one longer chapter to go after this that I may split into two, but other than that... :'(
> 
> As normal, there is no beta so all mistakes are my own and all rights to Marvel, I own nothing.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and see you soon.
> 
> Edit 16th Jan- a comment mentioned I should add a short mushy/fluffy feelings warning thanks to the over protective puppy dog that is Thor, so here it is. :D

Thor watches as the tesseract breaks into thousands of tiny pieces, the blue glow distinguishing quicker than a candle in a windstorm. He smiles, knowing that soon, all of this will be over and they can get back to normality. Thanos' screams are like music to his ears, they warm his heart and the smugness that sets in gives him a sense of what Loki must feel like on a daily basis- when, of course, he isn't ill, lost in thought or angry. But when Loki grabs his own head and begins to scream, he knows something is wrong. No, this should not be happening, Loki shouldn't be in pain. As he watches, his brother tugs at his hair and falls to his knees, still screaming and evidently in just as much pain as Thanos, who is mirroring Loki's every move. The Chitauri are backing away, not knowing what to do; if their masters have lost the war, they better think about retreating.  
  
Thor runs towards a once again 'normal' coloured Loki and grabs him around the waist, pulling him towards his own body. Odin follows, kneeling beside his two sons. "What's happening to him? Father?" The desperation in Thor's voice is clear to anyone, he has had enough of having to hold a screaming or crying Loki in his arms, and he just cannot do it anymore.  
  
"I think he is still connected to Thanos. You said so yourself, that he was having nightmares because of the bond they still shared. The connection to the tesseract is killing him too, just as much as it is the titan." Odin, for once, held clear concern for his youngest, both in his voice and face.  
  
"Then what do we do?" Thor tightened his grip on the still screaming Loki, tears falling from both their eyes.  
  
"We need to bring him back to us. We need to break the connection. He needs something to anchor him to us, he needs to hear something that brings him back, a key to unlock all of this." Odin's voice was actually full of concern.  
  
Thor turned to Loki, holding him as still as possible. The screams were loud, meaning Thor had to be even louder in order to be heard. "Brother? Loki? Listen to me. I love you, I always have and I always will. You are my rock, my strength, and my world. I let you get taken from me too many times, I've lost you in more ways than I ever care to remember, and many times it has been my own fault. I never realised until you were gone what you meant to me. You said to me I was not your brother...but I am. True, there is no blood shared between us, but the bond is far more powerful and real than anything brought with blood. You need only look to your real blood family, they cast you out, they hated you, they left you to die. I will never do that! You are the only thing helping me become the warrior I am meant to be, without you I would have caused war between all nine realms before my adulthood and I would have been dead long ago. Please, come back to me. I cannot lose you again." He paused and swallowed, before starting over. "I know I reacted badly to your real nature, it was a shock. It was not because of _what_ you are, merely for how different you looked...you are my brother, and I have grown, watching you change into a fine young man. Anyone who saw you like that for the first time would have reacted the same, it was only that you were focused on me that you saw my reaction. Do you understand? I do not know what more I can say...when you invaded Midgard, although I knew there was evil within you I could not help but want to reach out for you, to save you from yourself, bring you home and....Loki, please! I love you, I want to save you, and I will never leave you. What more do you want?" His final words rose to a war cry when Loki's own screams reached their highest yet. Pulling Loki to him, he managed to muffle the sound of his brother's screams in his chest.  
  
"Loki?" Frigga cried from behind. Thor knew it was near the end, there was too much pain running through his brother, the shaking had turned to full blown trembling and Thanos too looked near death.  
  
"Why isn't it working? What have I done wrong?" Thor looked to his father with eyes full of tears, ones that were already making tracks down his face. Never had he felt so defeated, not after any battle he had lost.  
  
"You have done nothing wrong. Loki needs to hear something he doesn't know, and everything you have said...he already does." Odin nodded lovingly towards his two sons, and Thor couldn't help but smile. He had always hoped Loki knew he loved him, but sometimes the fool made it damn hard to know for sure. Of course, out of everyone, Thor was the one Loki trusted most. Yes, he truly loved Frigga, but she had lied to him, and Thor guessed that still left a crack in Loki's  armour.  "Thor, hand him to me." Odin held out his arms, but Thor pulled back as he was unsure of whether to trust the man or not. Everytime Loki had been with their father, it had not ended well, and surely, out of all of them, Thor or Frigga would be the ones best able to break the connection. Hesitantly, Thor released Loki and moved him into Odin's surprisingly gentle hold.  
  
The older man organised himself into a more comfortable position and held Loki in front of him, arms outstretched, squeezing Loki's biceps to keep him upright. "Loki? Can you hear me?"  
  
 _Of course he cannot hear you, he is screaming his lungs out_ , Thor thought. Before him, Odin soothed his bundle, carding the now wet hair gently over his head and looking into his slightly opened eyes. Shockingly, Loki calmed a little- not entirely but enough for some of Odin's words to get through, he slumped slightly in his father's grasp, but managed to stay awake just enough to hear what the man had to say.  
  
"We love you Loki. Whatever lies Thanos has planted into your head are just that, lies, woven to make you his. You wanted to know the truth, you wanted me to tell you everything. I took you from Jotunheim to use you, I planned on morphing you into my own little soldier, the best to ever come out of Asgard, with the strength of a thousand warriors, the knowledge of a hundred scholars and magic that challenged that of the greatest sorcerers in history. With that, I would find my way into Jotunheim and do as I pleased. I could make them my own, I could control them, or I could kill them all. But as you grew, as you developed yourself, you became _mine_. Not my weapon, but my son. It was love that turned you the first time I touched you, your skin changed to that of mine because I showed you mercy, I showed you that I cared. Over the years, I realised I _did truly_ care for you, and when you were in danger, or ill, I genuinely worried for you, as I would a son. As the years went by, my plans fell apart, I knew I could not see you walk into that realm, knowing you could be killed, or taken from me. When it was too late, I regretted not telling you from the start, but I was worried you would hate yourself, or me for what I had done, and that I would lose you through my own stupidity. I could not bear to see you walk away from me in anger.  I truly am sorry Loki, if I could change things, I would change it all, all except me taking you. That is one of the best decisions I ever made. You completed our family, you still do, and without you there is an all too painful gap. I have been stupid, please forgive me. We love you... _I_ love you. Now come back to us, come back to me, Loki...my _son_."  
  
The whimpers and pained gasps ceased from Loki, his shaking stopped and he collapsed, fully, in Odin's arms. But the old king did not seem to mind, he just pulled him closer and soothed him just as Thor remembered he had done oh so long ago, when the two were mere toddlers. The sight was too much for Frigga, after everything that had happened, the image of Loki collapsing in his father's arms brought her into Thor's waiting grasp, knowing his mother would seek comfort. The pair stood still, watching as Thanos' screams died, along with the mad titan, and as Loki's form regained a bit of colour (as much colour as Loki usually had anyway) he slowly opened his eyes.  
  
Loki met gazes with his father, tears in both of Thor's loved ones' eyes, and smiled gently. "He's gone." He whispered, almost in disbelief. "He's gone!"  
  
Thor, about to run forward, stopped when Loki's form collapsed once more, this time entirely unconscious in their father's arms. "No." Shaking his head, no this cannot be happening. What now?  
  
"It is ok Thor, I expected that. He is exhausted, he needs rest." Odin held up a calming hand to Thor, placating the thunderer's worry and doubt. "Do not fret. It is over, it is over."  
  
Thor follows Frigga's actions as she calmly bends down to where his father and brother are sat. The family circle Loki's unconscious form, embracing one another in a tight circle of hope, love and happiness. Sobs have turned to laughter, tears of sorrow are now tears of joy and even Odin's smile is bigger than Thor has ever remembered seeing on the aged face.  
  
Loki's soul, was finally awakened.


	22. Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I always start my notes with that....erm GOOD DAY! Nerr, I'm not keen on that one...I'll think of one before my final chapter.
> 
> Ok, so confession time, I hadn't written this chapter until 2 days ago because I hadn't even thought of writing Avengers dialogue- oops- until saramagician (a FanFiction.net reviewer) mentioned it, so thank you for that. Therefore, if this chapter seems a little out of it or different, it's because I haven't written for this Fic for around 3 months and lost the flow of it, so it took a bit of persuasion to write. Anyway, only 3 more chapters to go (sort of on the short side again) but as a balm, I'll upload them all this week, probably today, Wednesday and Friday/Saturday.
> 
> Thank you as always for reviews, follows etc. And the normal of no beta, so all mistakes my own, and all rights to Marvel, I own nothing.

What the fuck had just happened? When did his life become like this? He definitely didn't remember signing any forms to say _yes, I welcome big Norse Gods and aliens and transportation between worlds into my life_ , unless he was extremely drunk at the time- which, scarily enough, is a very valid excuse for Tony Stark.  He and the other Avengers sat on a veranda overlooking what looked like one of the most beautiful gardens he had ever seen. Thor had explained they wouldn't be interrupted here as it was his mother's own private space, somewhere she could quietly escape the turmoil of looking after two troublesome young boys. Tony wasn't Sherlock but he had heard either Loki or Thor speak before of their mother's gardens, and so assumed that the wonder he was now gazing over from 30 feet up (yeah, he still wasn't _that_ great with heights yet) was the legendary place. Frigga had been right when she said they would calm down up here, for right now, with Tony sipping ice cold water (he obviously would have preferred something much stronger), soaking in the lush warm sun, with only a few distant sounds of the realm beginning to rebuild, he felt more at peace than in a long time.  The best evidence he needed of the calm was by looking directly to his left to see Bruce smiling like he'd just had the best sex in his life (yeah, ok Tony wasn't great at metaphors or whatever).   
  
"So who's gonna talk first?" Clint turned so his legs straddled the back of the chair he was sat on.  
  
"Oh, come on birdy! Why spoil the serenity, I was daydreaming." Tony threw up his arms in mock annoyance, but deep down he wasn't sure he was ready for the conversation he knew was about to come.  
  
"I will." Good ol' Steve. "Loki...wasn't in his right mind when he invaded us."  
  
"Ding ding, point one to the ol' captain over there." Fun fact, Tony got extra sarcastic when he was confused or pissed off, which right now, he was both. Before he could sass anyone else, Bruce gave the Doctor's verdict on the situation.   
  
"I know it's straight to the point but Steve's right. Loki, yes, was not completely innocent, but he also wasn't completely guilty of what he did. From what I've witnessed, from what everyone's said, this Thanos has existential powers of mind control and manipulation. For mortals, he can have complete mind control, like Dr Selvig and you, Clint, probably because we have more limited minds- of course no offense to any of us. But with higher powers like Thor or Loki, he cannot go that far, he can only manipulate them to alter them. I'm guessing, too, that the longer someone is in the company of the Titan, the more manipulation he can have- our prime example, of course, being Loki. Thor said there was a 2 year gap between Loki falling and then reappearing on Earth, but we all know that these realms have different lengths of years to one another. So two of our years could easily be more like 200 years to wherever Loki landed."  
  
"Shit." Tony put down his glass before his shaking became evident. He was not liking where this was going.  
  
"And it doesn't take a genius to figure out Loki went through some really tough times under Thanos' hand, whether it was the torture we know of, or a more emotional direction, which in Loki's case I'm guessing is more plausible. You heard Thor, he said that the monster that attacked us was a far cry from the brother he had grown up alongside. Of course, we've seen people go berserk because of jealousy or other human emotions, but I doubt someone of Loki's mind would become so out of control because of his feelings towards Thor and his family. Unless, of course, there was someone poking and prodding, turning cogs and flicking switches to 'unleash the beast' they knew Loki was capable of becoming."  
  
"It makes sense." Natasha was sat flicking her knife around, but the look on her face was a lot more mellow than Tony was used to. "When I had my 'chat' with him, I could see something different in him, it wasn't the caged monster, it was...when he was telling me about my faults, I could see him connecting with the self same things. My past hit him, like something triggered his own memories of things he'd done wrong. The anger he was directing at me was very much also directed at himself. He said to me, 'you think saving a man more worthy than yourself can change that', meaning my past and trying to save Clint. Though, the whole time, I could not help but see something in him, something pointing the words at himself, maybe in regards to saving Thor- of course sometime in the past before all of this.  At times, when I was watching him over the camera link, I could see him fighting against himself, or at least his subconscious, like he was questioning the memories or reasons why he was there. The first time I spoke to him, he was pacing. At first I thought he was planning his escape, I still do to some extent, but the look on his face was more quizzical, like he was trying to figure out more than just how to run. "  
  
"Can I also just point out _our_ reaction to being around the sceptre for too long, we were at each other's throats, ready to kill anyone who rubbed us up the wrong way, particularly those of us who were emotionally scarred. The 'magic' heightened our anger, our deepened emotions. Just imagine that at 10 times the amount and double the intensity on Loki. He had no chance to fight back his latent feelings." Tony could see Bruce trying not to get too invested, he knew the pain and suffering the good doctor had been through.  
  
The group was silent, all contemplating what had happened, what they all knew and whether or not it changed anything.  
  
"Ok, so I'll list what we know." Tony stood up and began pacing- oh no, it was a bad thing when Tony Stark paced and thought at the same time. "Loki had some pretty tough times growing up in Asgard, check. Loki found out something extremely damaging to his mental stability, check. He decided to end it all by sort of committing suicide, check. Suicide went tits up and he ended up in the hands of an ego maniac, check..."  
  
"Tony, _stop_ , for the love of whatever God's really exist, _stop_ saying check." Yep, Clint was on edge.  
  
"Sorry. Said ego maniac decided to use Loki's already damaged and fragile mind to do his bidding, and because of the vulnerability of the god, it only took a handful of years of torture and mind manipulation to turn him into some crazed lunatic..."  
  
"Only a handful of years!? You should know only a week of torture is bad enough... _only a handful of years_ , bloody hell Tony." Steve was shocked at Tony's choice of words, but of course, Tony was even more shocked at the soldier bringing up something everyone knew he hated being reminded of, not to mention the use of language the patriotic soldier hated hearing, nevermind using.   
  
When Tony gave him a dead eye look of _'say anymore and I'll rip that spangly outfit right off you and strangle you with it'_ Steve shut up and so he continued. "Look, I don't expect any of us to forgive him, to let him off for what he did. But I think we can all agree that maybe, just maybe, there was more to the whole invasion than we thought, and Loki had been through something to change him into a shadow of what he used to be, according to Thor. Maybe the pure evil wasn't all that pure."   
  
Yes, it was safe to say Tony's mind had turned to mush and he didn't really know what he wanted to say, but he hoped he'd got the point across.   
  
"If only we had some way of knowing the old Loki, of seeing what he's been through..." Bruce mumbled to himself, though Tony guessed the man hadn't meant for his musings to be said out loud, and loud enough for the whole group to hear.  
  
"Yeah, Loki's memory ride, I'd pay to have a go on that!" And yes, it comes as no surprise to say Tony got 4 very harsh looks from those sat around him. "What!? Come on, be honest, wouldn't you love to see into the mind of your enemy, see what made them the way they were, what affected them and took the humanity from them?"  
  
"And there's our point. Loki still has humanity. Therefore, Loki isn't all we thought he was...he's more." Bruce's conflict was evident, he was torn between hating this man, of course, because he had attacked his home and killed people, but also caring for him, and saving him- which was becoming a very common notion towards Loki nowadays.   
  
Tony looked around, these people, the heroes, were sat questioning the villain- and in what movies did that ever happen? Though, the billionaire couldn't help but notice Clint, the man who surely had the biggest grievance with him, he was sat, sullen as ever.   
  
"Clint, you ok buddy?"  
  
"Would you be? Knowing the person you wanted dead most in the world actually might not be who you thought he was, and that out of the two of us, he probably wants his own death more than I want it." He stood up, picked up the chair he'd been sat on and threw it at a golden wall. No-one moved, they didn't know what to do, what to say. This was nothing they'd ever come across before, and they saved the earth from alien invasions for god's sake.  
  
"We don't even know Loki will survive." Natasha added, _probably to break the tension_ , Tony thought.  
  
"Odin said he would." Steve answered to the unasked question.  
  
"You clearly didn't see the morbid look on his face when Thor carried Loki off then. I'm the king of lies, I know lies when I see them...or at least uncertainty, and Odin definitely wasn't certain Loki would..." Tony never finished, his friends gave him looks that told him someone quite important was stood behind him, and he wasn't sure which of the Asgardians he wanted it to be.  
  
"My brother will live, I know it." Oh, so it was Thor, a bit of relief flooded Tony that it wasn't Odin.  "And the title of King of Lies would go to him, don't you think?" The serious tone in the god's voice changed, showing the engineer he was smiling, at least a little bit.  
  
Tony spun so he faced the thunderer. "Hey, of course it would, good little trickster Loki." _Smile, smile, smile._  
  
"How's Loki? Any news?" Bruce asked.  
  
"Nothing new, he still sleeps fitfully, his fever keeps growing and there is no sign of him waking." Thor looked downcast, eyes on the floor, hair falling over his face.  
  
"Cheer up Point Break, he'll be fine." You guessed it, Tony was now trying his best to make amends for the comments he vomited a few seconds before.  
  
"It has been a week Stark..."  
  
"Your friend is right Thor, our Loki will be fine. You've seen him in worse states than this before." Stark did flinch a bit with Frigga's sudden appearance but he kept it under wraps, he hoped.  
  
"Aye. If you will excuse me, I think I am going to spend some more time with him." Thor started walking off but Frigga stopped him.  
  
"No sweetheart, you've spent most of this past week with him. You will make yourself ill and I know Loki does not want that. Spend some time with your friends and me, I would love to learn more about these Avengers." Tony couldn't help but think how warm Frigga's smile was, how he longed for his own mother's smile and gentle touch, and maybe even his father's. No wonder Loki loved her so much.  
  
"Yeah Thor, we start helping rebuild Asgard tomorrow, have a bit of a break." Steve pulled up two more chairs for the Asgardians and poured them some water. The small group sat down and began talking as they should have done on their first meeting, instead of being shoved into an all out war between themselves as well as the enemy.   
  
Minutes turned to hours, the sun set and still no good news about Loki came, but the Avengers began a friendship they should have formed long ago.


	23. Odinsons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darlings! (I decided to use one of Tom's greetings today) It is nice to see you again. I wish to thank you all for the reviews and follows, as always. This is the penultimate chapter- NO! WHY!? *cries* so I hope you enjoy. The final chapter should be up Friday or Saturday. :(  
> I just wanted to add a bit of a blood/gore warning in this, there is very little but I know some people prefer to see warnings.
> 
> As always, no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Marvel and the wonder that is Stan Lee. Please leave reviews, I love reading them. See you soon, take care. X

"I took a leaf out of your book brother, I tricked Father." Thor paused, looking at his brother. This was not what should be happening, Loki was supposed to be awake, and smiling and joking around like they used to, not laid here, skin of snow white, covered in sweat and deadly still- except for his commonly occurring nightmares. "I told him I did not feel well and wished to lay down for a while. But here I am, with you. It is not that he banned me from your bedside, but he thought it would do me good to get away from watching you. Little does he know I feel worse when I am not in your company."  
  
He waited for a reply, for some sarcastic comment or clip of the tongue line, yet none came, instead, Loki just lay there, for once relieved of nightmares, looking 'like death warmed up' as Anthony Stark had said. Thor had inquired about Loki's continuing nightmares to his father, as it was his thinking that the severing of the connection would stop the dreams, but the AllFather only answered by saying there is nothing to prevent Loki's natural nightmares, of the memories, and that gripped Thor's heart and squeezed it like a hand to his throat. Would Loki _ever_ be free?  
  
"Your father said you would be in here." Thor would be lying if he said he didn't flinch at the sudden voice behind him, it seemed Loki wasn't the only one she could sneak up on, though it was a voice he never expected to hear.  
  
"Lady Romanoff, so my trick did not work then?"  
  
"Call me Natasha, please, and no, Odin always knew you were coming here, I think we all did." She walked up to him and pulled up a chair the opposite side of the bed, so they were eye to eye over Loki's body. "He looks better."  
  
"You really think so?"  
  
"Yes. I've seen people on death's door plenty of times. He may look more ill than yesterday but there are signs he is doing better."  
  
"Like what?" Thor's heart leapt into his throat and his back straightened in anticipation.  
  
"I can see his heartbeat in his neck, meaning it's stronger, his perspiration is collecting just around his forehead, so that means his fever is decreasing. The black around his eyes is now just a dark grey, so the rest is now doing him good, letting him recover, and finally, his trembling has ceased, mainly, telling us that his exhaustion has passed and he now only suffers nightmares. He will awaken soon, I can promise you that."  
  
Then Natasha did something Thor never thought he would see- or at least not in relation to his brother- she took his hand in hers. Loki's pale, skinny hand looked lost in her two rather darker ones, though both marked with years of fighting, with Natasha's having scars from knives and knuckles to faces, whilst Loki's scarred with burns, magic and his own nails or daggers.  
  
"I think you could have been friends with Loki once, before things damaged him. He was very much like you are, very clever, observative, and with a specific sense of humour. You even fight in a pretty similar style." Thor never took his eyes off his friend's hands wrapped around his brothers; Natasha was now even slowly rubbing circles on the back of Loki's hand with her thumb.  
  
"You know something? I thought the same, I could see parts of myself in him. Though I think we would clash every other day too, so maybe not the best idea." She smiled, a warm smile Thor had not seen on her face before, it was nice, and made her even prettier. But, as with Loki, he could see there were horrors hidden behind that smile that only a select few would ever have the pleasure of hearing.  
  
"I do not expect any of you to forgive him, I hope you know that." Thor's tone became that resembling his father's, authoritative and serious. "What Loki has done is wrong."  
  
"You're right, it was wrong and it may take us years to forgive him, or even trust him, but what he has done, what we've seen of him, is enough to show us there is more to him than a villain, he is much more complicated than that. We'll make our own decisions about him thank you very much." The smile was back, but with an enormous hint of Loki's smirk he knew so well, the one that told him Thor wasn't the boss of him.  
  
"And so you should." He noticed Natasha flinch slightly before looking down at the pale hand in her own, but she didn't mention it, instead she patted Loki's hand one final time and stood up.  
  
"Come on Thor, I still haven't sparred with this famous Sif yet, and Clint can't wait to see the inevitable 'cat fight', as he so politely puts it, that will break out when we get going." The hand that was stroking Loki's seconds before was now held out in front of his, waiting for him to take.  
Smiling he accepts the hand and stands up, taking another final look at his brother, he can't help but think Natasha is urging him out of the room for something, she definitely noticed something change in Loki a few seconds ago.  
  
"He'll be fine." Her voice flowed into his ear, and he turned to face her. They walked out of the healing rooms together, yet he tried to ignore the fact Natasha looked back with a worried look on her face, just as Thor heard a whimper escape from his brother. _Ah, so that's why._ Loki was beginning with another nightmare and the kind woman was steering him out of the disaster zone, to protect his feelings.  
  
"I'll be back brother." He whispered as he let Natasha lead him out and into the training grounds. Maybe the distraction would do him good, before returning to the task of rebuilding Asgard.  
  
X  
  
 _He didn't open his eyes. Opening his eyes would mean having to see what death and destruction had taken place. It meant seeing Thanos' smiling face, glaring down at him, ready for round 2, ready for more pain and blood._  
  
 _Thanos had won, then again, he always knew he would, why had he lied to himself that it would ever be any different. The titan had told him himself, 'I shall come for you, for your family, and for your realm. I will kill them, I shall destroy them all and take Asgard as my own. You, on the other hand, will be my personal play toy. I will never kill you Loki, I will grant you life...a life of misery and suffering. What you experienced in my presence before was merely the beginning, a small hint of what I can do to you.' And then The Other's words too, 'you think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain.' That would be his life now, nothing more than a punching bag, a lion's prey, a fly caught in a spider's web. So the longer he stayed asleep, the longer he could (hopefully) trick his torturer, after all, he was the trickster god, was he not?_  
  
 _Images flashed in his mind, the form of his brother on the floor, dying, utterly disgusted by Loki's true form, shying away when he got too close. Never had he expected to see fear for a Jotun in those eyes, or fear of his brother, yet the blue orbs were painted with horror, and the reflection of what they saw. His mother's still, twisted form was lying flat on its back, vacant eyes staring up at the ceiling, surrounded by the crimson of her blood. He could still hear her screams in his ears, the agony she felt at Loki's every move, how years of love and devotion had all lead to this. Odin was dying proudly, just as Loki knew he would. He was not showing discomfort, or pain, or grief, but pure regret and disappointment, knowing he should never have brought that Jotun runt into his home. They would all have been better off if the King had just left him to die, to starve or freeze (if that was at all possible for him), whichever came quicker._  
  
 _The memories left him teary eyed, longing for things to return to how they used to be, before the truth was out and their family's division began. This, of course, was the wrong move, for as soon as Thanos saw the tears leaking from his closed eyes, he knew the prince was awake. The next thing Loki knew, he was gasping for air and reaching and clawing at whatever was being thrust around his throat. The cold chains dug into his flesh and bruised his trachea, causing him to wheeze as his air supply was crushed and cut off. His nails were ripped off trying to pry off the metal, blood oozing from them and down his arm to fall silently onto the floor. A knee collided with his back, winding him further and sending shooting pains up and down his spine. A final blow to his lower back left him lying motionless on the floor, unable to move._  
  
 _"What have you done?" He manages to breath out._  
  
 _"Paralysed you. Although I like to see you squirm, it's nice and easy this way, and I've had a tough day killing Asgardians." Thanos' silky voice was close to his ear._  
  
 _The beating continued for a long while after that, with Loki unable to move. Somehow, Thanos had been able to paralyse him so he could not move, but not so that he could no longer feel pain. He felt every blow, every kick or punch, every time a blade entered his body or a hot rod was burnt onto his flesh. Thanos lit a fire beside his head, a large one that heated the room in minutes, and that burnt Loki within seconds. His Jotun blood rejected the warmth, reacting to it almost immediately, not being able to cope with the extreme heat. He was sweating and his vision was blurring. He felt sick to his stomach and his already overworked chest closed off further, preventing even less air to pass through._  
  
 _Thanos grabbed his hand, stroking it and kissing it like a tender lover would do their partner, but this move had no loving intentions at all. Before Loki could comprehend what was happening, Thanos propelled the hand into the centre of the burning fire, immediately causing complete agony._  
  
 _Loki screamed, and screamed......and screamed!_


	24. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Thor voice* My friends!
> 
> Well...this is it, the final chapter- hang on I need a second. Ok. Yeah, so final update of this Fic, I really hope it does the story justice and you enjoy. I'm glad to have had the followers and reviewers I've had, your comments have made this better than it was before. Thank you, for everything. (Ok, I sort of feel like I'm making an awards speech here.)
> 
> As normal, no beta so all mistakes my own and all rights to Mumford and Sons for the lyrics and to Marvel, I own nothing! *pouty face*
> 
> Take care my lovelies and don't forget to leave reviews/comments. Have a wonderful day. X

He sat up quickly, the pain in his hand incredible. Looking down, he saw the appendage was perfectly fine, if not a little red from it hanging off the side of his bed at an awkward angle. In the last few days, whenever he had had a few moments of lucidity, they had always been in the wake of yet another terrible nightmare. Even though Thanos' death broke the connection and stopped the nightmares the Titan was causing, it did not mean Loki did not suffer with genuine night terrors, as anyone would after such terrible events. And due to his ill health, the healers had been unable to prescribe him a draught or medicine. Each time he awoke, he felt himself growing in strength, but chose to return to the clutches of sleep (however frightening) to help keep away the pain and misery he felt. Yet this time, he felt better than he had in a long while, albeit a little weary, and knew he would not have to return to his memories for a while longer yet.  
  
Looking around the room, he found no traces of his family, not even Frigga. A small part of him panicked that this was some trick and they actually had all died, that Thanos was playing with him to raise his hopes, only to then destroy them just as he and his Chitauri army had done New York. These dark thoughts were soon replaced by even crueler ones, he began believing it had all been a lie, that what Odin had said was some trick to make him believe he was still loved, only to be thrown back in the dungeons again. Lies. All of it, just as it had been his entire life. How could he have been so stupid to have believed it was changing for the better? He started breathing heavily, praying that Thor would come bursting through that door any second. Instead, a kind and familiar healer walked up to his bed and placed a warm hand on his forehead.  
  
"My Prince?"  
  
Loki quickly snapped out of the state he had gotten himself into and looked at the woman; she was not old, but not young either, maybe a few years younger than his mother, and a kind looking soul, smiling and with not a trace of fear for the god on her face.  
  
"I apologize. I had a bad sleep. Where are my family?" After saying the word, he was unsure as to whether he should even call them that anymore, were they still his family? And did Asgard still perceive them as that?  
  
"Believe me my young prince, they want to be here, all of them. But they are all busy with one thing or another, repairing Asgard and calming the people. Every chance they get they are sat by your bedside, but today has been a busy day and they were unable to spend much time with you."  
  
Loki nodded. "May I leave?"  
  
This stunned the healer, but she smiled gently. "I would not advise you to leave your bed just yet, as you are not yet fully recovered. Though, I can already feel your own magic doing it's job as well as some of that your mother has washed over you of her own. Therefore, if you feel up to it- and _only if_ \- I have every faith in your strength to do so. Just promise me that you will return to me before sun down, for me to check on you, or if you begin to feel any ill affects." A stern look took hold of her features then, and Loki supressed a grin at how much she reminded him of his mother.  
  
"Of course. Thank you...?" He gestured for her to give her name.  
  
"Sophia, my lord."  
  
"Sophia. Thank you Sophia." And with that, he stood up- slowly and with a number of attempts- to take his leave.  
  
He didn't know where his family would be, but they would most likely be in the great hall or Odin's personal chambers. And so he decided to make his way to the council rooms, hoping the King was reassuring his soldiers and the people of Asgard that all was well.  
  
Walking through the halls, using the golden walls for support from time to time, he chose to take the way that lead him past the library, hoping beyond hope that it was not destroyed. It was the right decision, for as soon as he rounded the corner to the library's corridoor, he heard the familiar laugh of his brother and the voices of the Avengers. Although he would have preferred not to see _them_ at the current time, he knew he would have to sacrifice a little happiness to see Thor.   
  
The library was and always would be his sanctuary, and so to see many of the books strewn around the floor, off their shelves, was not a welcoming site. The Avengers and his brother were standing around a table, piled high with books, looking very lost and unsure of the strange objects. _Really, was he the only one who loved books?_   
  
They all have their backs to him, but Stark is the closest, and in one hand he holds a copy of Loki's favourite book, and in the other, he has one of his gauntlets, powered up and whirring with energy.  
  
"Hey I've got an idea. Target practice..." Before Loki's eyes, he hands the book to Clint. "...PULL!"  
  
Clint throws the book into the air, but before Tony can use his Iron Man weapon, Loki grabs his wrist, holding it tighter than he thought possible in his current state, with a sinister look in his eyes and a hiss in his voice enough to make a snake jealous. "You destroy that book, _any_ of these books, and I snap your wrist."  
  
The look in Tony's eye is enough to make Loki chuckle slightly, a ghost of the laugh the Midgardian team know all too well. The man clicks the fingers on his free hand and the gauntlet retreats into a neat bangle on his wrist, before he holds both hands in as much an innocent way as possible. Behind him, Thor growls, "Loki..." That's all he needs as a warning, and enough to break him out of whatever place he had taken himself to- one released by his recent rendezvous with Thanos.  
  
Instead, Loki makes himself breathe, and relax, and lighten up. Releasing the Midgardian, and smiling- this time in a genuinely friendly way- he says, "You could try it with some of Thor's books, I think you'll find them over in that section." He points to the earliest years storybooks, the ones with no words, only pictures, and gets a firm monkey scrub from his brother as a result.  
  
"Oh Loki...I have missed your jokes."  
  
"Who in the world said I was joking?" He said with a very serious tone indeed.  
  
The scrub ends and Thor releases him, unsure of how much Loki meant the offense. Thankfully, Bruce interrupts before either Loki or Thor can get into the whole 'brotherly reunion' mush.  
  
"Are all of these books yours then?" He asks.  
  
"Oh Valhalla no! This is Asgard's library. Though I have to say, many only come in here in their youth, when they are made to by teachers, but I have come here my entire life and shall continue to forever more. So essentially, yes, they are all mine."  
  
"It's wonderful. Perhaps you can recommend me some." Oh, so maybe Loki was wrong, this particular Midgardian was a little more interesting.  
  
"Of course Bruce. What do you enjoy?" All of the 'old' Loki had completely gone now, and in his place was the brother Thor had grown up with, genuinely caring and kind to all (even if still holding mischief in his heart), and it actually made him feel sick. That was not who he was anymore, _(not entirely true)_ but if it pacified those he cared about, and those who could potentially be his downfall, then so be it.  
  
"Oh, all sorts. I especially like..." The scientist was interrupted by Tony's monotonous voice.  
  
"Oh here we go...all geeky and shit."  
  
"You can't exactly talk Stark. Your nicknames for people are all a little 'geeky' wouldn't you say? I mean...Legolas! Point Break! Rock of Ages! They're all a little nerdy. And especially to say one is a musical for god's sake...." Natasha laughed, but at the same time held a deadly serious tone, which impressed Loki to no end. Of course Loki had no idea what she was talking about, but everyone else (apart from Thor) seemed to, and laughed along, whilst Tony went just about as red as his suit and Natasha's hair.   
  
"Oh..woah...wait...hey..." Tony stammered, pointing at Romanoff, and Loki could see the cogs working as he thought of a comeback. "Rock of Ages is actually a Def Leppard song....as well as a musical, get it right!"  
  
"Still, besides the point, you are a closet geek."  
  
"Shut it Romanoff." He snapped back.  
  
"Oh good retort Stark." Loki slow clapped for effect, his voice full of sarcasm. Thor then did, finally, let out a very hearty laugh, slapping him on the back.  
  
"Oh Loki. I knew you and my friends would get along."  
  
"Woah, 'scuse me. Who said I was getting along with him!? I'd just rather not get on the wrong side of your Warriors and your dad...or your mum for that matter." Clint brought back the tension, and Loki wanted to hit him there and then just for that- the tension brought back his feelings of guilt and regret, not to mention left him thinking of Thanos.  
  
"Oh, you should have seen him Loki, with Volstagg...oh and with the Lady Sif..." Thor got no further, he burst into a fit of laughter, almost falling to the floor when the chair he was leaning on collapsed under his pressure. Clint threw one of the books at him but Loki didn't care, this was the happiest he had seen his brother in a long while, and he too was happy, if not a little damaged.   
  
He was the ugly duckling, he had been lost, thought himself a monster, until finding his family once more and being welcomed back. Yes, of course, he would have to gain their trust again, and things would never be 100% happy or complete, but it was the way it used to be, and with that, he could begin to recover, begin to get himself back on track. The Avengers knew the truth now too, and maybe, just maybe, they could see him for what he truly was as well, not just the mad bag of cats they had fought on Midgard.   
  
"A feast! I call for a feast. In celebration of Loki's recovery and the new pact between Asgard and the Avengers!" Thor suddenly shouted, startling Loki from his thoughts.  
  
"Thor...you call for a feast for any occasion, even when you got that splinter out of your foot after 3 days of whimpering about it." The affection in Loki's voice was clear for all to hear, but he did not care, not now.  
  
"Really? The giant Thor crying over a splinter?" Tony nudged Loki playfully in the ribs.  
  
"Oh yes, like a baby. Did he tell you about the time he fell face first into horse dung, then proceeded to throw a tantrum until the horse in question was locked in a cell?" Subconsciously, he was walking out of the library with the Avengers, and with Tony's arm around his shoulders, intrigued.  
  
The man gave a shocked gasp then a, "Nooo! Really? Our Thoreo having a child's temper tantrum?" From behind him, he heard Clint mumble something about killing for an Oreo right now, but of course Loki had no idea what the archer was on about and decided to carry on his taunting.   
  
"Ehehe, well...." A book flew at his head, causing him to stop before he had even started. "Oh brother, do not be a party pooper."  
  
"Aha! He said poop!" _Tony was a child._ "But anyway Reindeer Games, back to this horsey story. I thought it was you who liked the horses anyway." The billionaire gave the cheesiest grin Loki had ever seen, raising his eyebrows accusingly.  
  
"Your Midgardian myths are very confused and taken out of context...when it said 'horse' it meant 'a horse of a woman' and _her_ child was even more of one." Loki swallowed past the bad memories that arose with Stark's mention of _that_ story and instead did what he did best, made a joke out of it. He hated that the Midgardians had taken the tale and twisted it, did they not know he had no choice, that he was, in all regards, raped? "Though I have to say the Thor in a maidens dress story happened, except your books missed out a few parts, would you like to hear that one too?"  
  
"That one is most _definitely_ not for the dinner table Loki." Thor had moved closer, and Loki couldn't help but worry that the man's face would break from the smile that was currently adorning it.  
  
The odd group left the library giggling like children, all of them, even Clint, and made their way to the hall for the great feast. Although they had not told any servants, Loki knew the hall would be set by the time they arrived, it was the nature and magic of Asgard.  
  
X  
  
Sure enough, when they entered the grand room, the table was laden with food of various sorts, goblets, wines and other beverages. Loki suddenly panicked, realising he had not eaten properly in a while and when he did, it usually very rarely stayed down for long. Thor must have seen his trepidation, for he gently nuzzled Loki into a walk, leaving his hand on his back until the younger brother was seated, right in between his mother and father.  
  
"Hello darling." Frigga smiled, taking his hand in hers and squeezing, almost to make sure he was really there. He returned the fond gesture, also letting himself know this was all real and not just some cruel joke of Thanos'.  
  
"Hello mother. And Fath...Odin."  
  
"Hello son." Odin smiled at Loki, his eye full of apology.  
  
"Hello father." He finished, deciding the world was too unpredictable to let things go so easily. He had felt grief when he had lost his father in his dreams, so surely that was evidence enough that he still held some feelings for the man.  
  
"Now, this treaty with Midgard. It does not mean we want you knocking on our door every few days." Was that a hint of a joke in Odin's words? Surely not.  
  
"Well sir, erm, my lord, erm, your grace." Steve stammered.  
  
"If there's food like this on offer everyday, I can't promise anything." Tony finished for him. "Oh god, this stuff's great, what is it?"  
  
"It is our special beverage, a type of mead." Thor answered.  
  
"What's it made out of?" Tony asked again.  
  
Loki caught the look Thor was giving him, and silently pleaded for the older prince to let him tell the human. A small nod and grin came from his brother. "Oranges...." A smile came from Tony, who took another sip. "...and cow's urine."  
  
That was it, the mouthful was spat out, all over the table, and showering anyone nearby- which happened to be Romanoff and Steve. Tony choked on what he had swallowed and turned a very alarming shade of white.  
  
"What is the matter Stark? Don't like oranges?" Loki chuckled, followed by laughs from around the table.   
  
"I am so sorry Mr Allfather, forgive me." Tony stammered out. Taking another goblet- wine this time- he held it up and asked, very unsteadily, "What's this one made out of?"  
  
"Just the usual. Grapes and plums."   
  
Loki watched with high amusement as Stark took a very attentive sip, before deciding the drink was acceptable and guzzling down a mouthful. Maybe these Midgardians weren't so bad. And maybe things could return to at least some normality after Thanos. He knew he would always have potential to be pure evil, he could feel it in his heart, threatening to break free. But for now, he had a cap on it, just as the good doctor had on his alter ego, and he could manage it, letting it out in short bursts if needs be.  
  
Over two years ago, the great titan Thanos had threatened his family and the safety of Asgard to get Loki to do as he wanted. As with anything, you bend it long enough and it finally breaks, even if it is an all powerful trickster god. Loki had lost himself, he had succumbed to the evil within and almost destroyed his life and thousands around him. Now, the threat was gone, the threat of Thanos at least and he could begin to mend it all. Though one question remained.  
  
"Father, how did you return me? How did you break the connection?"  
  
"I helped you find yourself. Where you invest your love, you invest your life, and in doing that you allowed me to awake your soul."  
  
 _ **How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes**_  
 _ **I struggle to find any truth in your lies**_  
 _ **And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know**_  
 _ **My weakness I feel I must finally show**_  
 _ **In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die**_  
 _ **And where you invest your love, you invest your life**_  
 _ **In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die**_  
 _ **And where you invest your love, you invest your life**_  
 _ **Awake my soul**_  
 _ **For you were made to meet your maker**_  
 _ **You were made to meet your maker** _  
  


The End.


End file.
